At first, she swelled with pride, then her cheeks burned. How could this man be the same one who'd touched her in the dark beside the lake an hour ago? How could she ever hope such a man would love her? He'd been either upset or injured all the time she'd known him. She hadn't really seen Daniel McLain. And what she'd experienced up to now must have been the low points in his life while the same memories had been mountains to her.
As Daniel ended his plea, he handed Altus's glasses to the oldest Blair. “Let the war end here. Let your son rest in peace so that little Rip never has to pick up the sword.”
A tear rolled down the elder Blair's weathered face. Daniel gripped the man's shoulder in understanding.
An hour later, the Rebs agreed to consider Daniel's plea. Karlee hugged AmyAnn good-bye and allowed herself to be blindfolded and put back in the buggy with Daniel.
They rode in silence until the guard released them at a safe distance. Daniel took the reins in one hand and put his arm around Karlee in a natural gesture that almost made her cry. He didn't say a word as they drove home. She leaned her head on his shoulder and hoped he thought her asleep.
When they reached the back porch, he kissed her head and said simply, “We're home.”
She climbed down from the buggy and went inside while he took care of the horse. She was dressed for bed when he came into the parlor.
Without a word she crawled beneath the covers and mumbled, “Good night.”
Daniel sat down on the edge of the bed. “What is it?” He knew something was wrong.
“You were good tonight.” She rolled to face him. “No, it was more than that. You were great.”
He brushed her hair back over her shoulder. “You weren't so bad, yourself.”
“What I did was nothing compared to what you did. You opened people's minds with your words.” She swallowed hard, trying not to say the next words. “Folks probably wonder how you could have married me.”
Then Daniel understood. “Karlee, you've had far too much Gerilyn for one day. You're a fine wife, and I'm a lucky man for this marriage. Now go to sleep.”
“Aren't you coming to bed?”
“I've work to do in the study.” He smiled down at her. “Thanks for an interesting evening.”
Karlee closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep, but the way Daniel had touched her kept drifting through her mind. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but sleeping alone tonight wasn't what she hoped for. She almost wished she could have been the wife who died after knowing the completeness of his love rather than the wife who lived and would never have but a part of him.
At dawn, she awoke still alone. She tiptoed to Daniel's study. He was sound asleep in his comfortable chair, his leg propped on the old box he used as a dresser. Books lay open around him, and a pencil still rested in his fingers. Papers were scattered across his lap and a blue ribbon wound its way across the mess.
Karlee moved closer, watching him sleep. The first rays of sunlight danced in his hair and across the handsome lines of his face. Asleep, he looked much younger. Young enough to still believe in loving.
He was resisting her, she thought, and himself. He had passion in what he said, and what he felt. He'd proved that last night at Caddo Lake. He wanted her, or at least he wanted to touch her, but he kept himself just out of reach. Because May had died, he'd condemned himself to a life without love.
She brushed his hair lightly. A curl circled around her finger. If he were waging battle over feelings for her, she aimed to make it a little harder for him. Karlee loved him more every day and figured she had a lifetime of love stored up.
Thirty minutes later, Karlee placed a cup of coffee beside his chair and knelt in front of him. She'd brushed her hair and scrubbed her face, but left on her nightgown. As she watched him sleeping, she unbuttoned her gown several buttons and leaned forward.
Her lips touched his lightly at first, bringing him into morning slowly. He moved with her, taking her kiss as a part of his dream.
She leaned forward, brushing her body over his arm as the kiss deepened. Her hand slid timidly beneath his open collar and covered his heart. It was pounding. He was alive whether he wanted to admit it or not.
Daniel jerked suddenly, fully awake. “Karlee!” His eyes reflected his surprise at her nearness.
“Good morning,” she answered as she moved only inches away. “I brought you coffee.”
Daniel frowned and plowed his hair back. She could see him growing distant. “Coffee is fine, but you need not wake me so personally.”
“I thought you liked my kisses?” She wasn't being coy, simply asking a question.
He looked away. “I do,” he answered. “But… I can't…”
“You can't what?”
He closed his eyes. “I don't know if I can make you understand. I'm not sure I do.” He turned his face toward the window. “Years ago, I gave my love wholly and completely to another. To sleep with you, to have children with you would be wrong. Don't you see, Karlee? I've nothing to give you but a husband during the day. We'll never share the nights.”
“But last night…” “Last night was a mistake that kept me from sleep most of the night,” he snapped. “I thought I could touch you and get it out of my system. I was wrong. The feel of you still lingers on my hands.”
Karlee smiled. The battle was nearly over, and he didn't even know it. “All right,” she said. “If that's what you want.”
“That's the way it has to be between us.” He sounded so determined, but his words were forced. “I've told you that from the beginning.”
“I agree,” she answered. “Only, since you unbuttoned me last night, don't you think you should button me up this morning?”
Daniel looked at her. First at her eyes, then his gaze lowered to her nightgown with a two-inch opening at her breasts. “I'm not a saint, Karlee.”
“Yes, you are.” She shifted slightly so that her gown opened more. “Saint Daniel. Ready to sacrifice your whole life for the love of one who died. Well, prove it. Button me up.”
Daniel faced her and began at her throat as if the task she asked of him was nothing. But as his hands slid against the sides of her breasts, sweat broke out on his forehead.
“If I touch you again like I did last night, there'll be no stopping.”
“I didn't stop you last night, Daniel.”
He finished the buttoning, his hands shaking slightly. “Don't expect me to sleep next to you again.” His voice was gruff. “After touching you, I don't think I could lie next to you without…”
“Whatever you want, dear,” she answered sweetly. “I'll make sure you have it.”
She stood and left, knowing she'd win. It might take a week or a month or even a year. But eventually, she'd win.
All morning, Gerilyn's barbs had no effect on her. Karlee simply remembered the way Daniel had touched her at the lake. If she were so deformed and ugly, he wouldn't have caressed her so. She could almost feel his strong fingers working fire over her skin.
Gerilyn didn't notice Karlee lost in a daydream. Her pattern of speech sped up, as though she felt the need to talk faster and get everything into the lecture.
Valerie stayed the morning, feeling a need to protect Karlee. They worked on the girl's graduation dress while Gerilyn pouted with boredom.
Finally, when Valerie left and the twins were down for a nap, Gerilyn asked, “How does it feel, Cousin, to be a hand-me-down wife? I know you've had seconds all your life. Well, now you have another woman's husband.”
Karlee didn't answer as she poured tea.
When Gerilyn didn't get a response, she wandered on to another topic, having no idea her words had hurt Karlee.
“I think I'll venture down to the docks when it cools a little and see if there is a boat leaving in the morning. I've done about all the good I can do here.”