‘I might not be so big now,’ the pup said, making a feinted lunge at the older Rhega, ‘but my mother says I will be someday.’
And at the pup’s words, Gariath felt his smile drop, fade back into a frown.
He doesn’t know, he realised.
And how could the pup know? He couldn’t see himself, couldn’t look at the way the sunlight occasionally passed through his body. He could not see the distance in his own eyes, suggesting just how long he had been so small. He could not see that the earth did not depress beneath him when he rolled and jumped.
He couldn’t possibly know he wasn’t alive any more.
‘What’s wrong?’ the pup asked, tilting his head to the side.
‘Nothing is wrong,’ Gariath replied, forcing the smile back onto his face. ‘It’s. . just been a long time since I’ve seen one of you. . one of us.’
‘Me, too,’ the pup said, plopping onto his rear end. ‘There used to be lots of us.’ He looked around the glade and frowned. ‘I wonder when they’re coming back.’
Tell him, Gariath told himself, he deserves to know. Tell him they’re not coming back.
‘I’m sure they will soon,’ Gariath replied instead.
Coward.
‘I hope so. . they left a long time ago.’
‘Where did they go?’
The pup opened his mouth to speak, then frowned. He looked down at the earth dejectedly.
‘I. . I don’t know.’
‘Then why are you still here? Didn’t your father take you with him when he left?’
‘My mother was supposed to,’ the pup replied. ‘My father left. . long ago, long before she did.’
‘He died?’
‘I. . think so. It’s hard to remember.’
The pup placed two stubby clawed hands on the tiny bone nubs that would someday be two broad horns. Would have been, Gariath corrected himself.
‘My head hurts thinking about it,’ the pup whined. ‘You’re not going anywhere, are you?’
‘Of course not,’ Gariath said, smiling. ‘What’s your name?’
‘Grahta,’ the pup said. ‘It means-’
‘Strongest,’ the older Rhega finished. He flashed a coy smile. ‘Are you sure it’s accurate?’ He prodded the pup, sending him tumbling over. ‘You don’t look very strong.’
‘I will be someday!’ Grahta scrabbled to his feet and lunged at Gariath’s hand as he pulled it away. ‘It’s a much better name than whatever yours is, anyway.’
‘My name,’ the older Rhega said, drawing himself up proudly, ‘is Gariath.’
‘Wisest?’ Grahta laughed. ‘That can’t be right.’
‘What makes you say that?’ Gariath asked, frowning. ‘I’m plenty wise.’
‘You’re plenty beat up, is what you are.’ Grahta poked his stubby finger against the cuts crossing Gariath’s flesh, the traces of black where his skin had been burned. ‘What happened to you?’
Gariath stared down at that finger, prodding so curiously, taking everything in through a tiny digit. They had fingers so tiny, he recalled.
‘I. .’ he whispered with a sigh, ‘I hurt myself.’
Tried to kill myself, he added mentally, tried to join you, Grahta, and your mother and father and my-
‘That wasn’t too smart,’ Grahta said, frowning. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’ve heard you talk to the other creatures you walk with. You yell at them, call them names, try to hurt them.’ The pup’s frown deepened, his eyes turning towards the earth. ‘My father used to talk like that.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were listening.’
‘You didn’t sound very happy.’
Gariath followed the pup’s gaze. ‘I’m not.’
‘Why? Don’t you have enough to eat?’
‘I have enough to eat,’ Gariath replied. ‘I just. . I don’t have anyone to talk to.’
‘What about those creatures?’
‘The humans?’
‘Is that what they’re called? They smell bad.’ The pup tilted his head to one side. ‘Is that why you’re not happy? Because they smell bad? Maybe you could ask them to wash.’
‘Humans are. .’ Gariath sighed. ‘They smell bad no matter how much they wash. And they only smell worse the more of them that are around.’
‘Are there a lot of them?’
‘Many.’
‘More than the Rhega?’
Many more. Thousands more. There are no more Rhega. Tell him. He deserves to know.
‘You don’t have to worry about humans,’ Gariath said, ‘so let’s not talk about it.’
‘All right,’ Grahta said. ‘How come there’s only one of you?’
Gariath winced.
‘I mean,’ the pup continued, ‘don’t you have a family?’
‘I did. . I do,’ the older Rhega said, nodding. ‘I have two sons.’
‘What are their names?’
Gariath paused at that, staring intently at the pup. ‘Their names are Tangahr and Grahta.’
‘Like me!’ The pup ran in a quick circle, barking excitedly. ‘Is your son the strongest, too?’
‘He was. . very strong,’ Gariath whispered, his voice choked suddenly. ‘His brother was, too. Much stronger than their father.’
‘I’m sure you’ll be strong too, someday,’ the pup said, nodding vigorously. ‘You just need to eat more meat.’
‘I’m. . sure I will be.’
‘Not as strong as me, though.’
‘Of course not.’
‘I’m very strong, you know. Once, I even killed a boar on my own. It was back when-’
The stream whispered quietly around them, no other sound to distract Gariath from hearing the pup. Every word echoed in his mind, every word felt like a claw dug into his chest that he couldn’t dislodge. He could hear himself in the pup’s voice, he could hear his own shrill bark, his own boasts, his own proclamations that he had made to his father when he was so young.
The proclamations his sons had made to him.
They were so boastful, he thought, smiling at the pup, they talked so much. . they never stopped talking until. .
‘Grahta,’ he interrupted softly, ‘why aren’t you with your family?’
‘I. . I’m not sure,’ Grahta replied, scratching his head. ‘I think. . I think Grandfather asked me to wait. He asked me to stay awake.’
‘For what?’
‘For you,’ Grahta said, looking up at the older Rhega intently.
‘I’m here now.’
‘And you’re not going anywhere, right?’
‘Right.’
‘Okay, good.’ The pup scratched his head. ‘Grandfather … Grandfather said. . uh, he wanted me to tell you something. ’
‘What?’
‘He told me to tell you. . not to follow me.’
Gariath felt his heart stop, his eyes go wide. ‘Whwhat? ’
‘He said you can’t come where he went, where I’m supposed to go, not yet.’
Something welled inside Gariath’s throat, lodging itself there. ‘But. . why not?’
‘I don’t know,’ Grahta replied, shrugging. ‘But why would you want to go? I’m right here. We can play!’
No, Gariath told himself, we can’t play. You have to go, Grahta. You can go, now. You can fall asleep. I’ve heard the message. You can go.
Gariath looked at the pup, eyes wide, teeth so small in his smile. Tangahr smiled like that. Grahta’s eyes were so bright.
No. . NO! he roared inside his own head. Tell him. Tell him he can go! Tell him he can sleep! He’s been awake for so long!
Grahta fell to all fours, tail upright as he barked a challenge at the older Rhega. Tangahr always barked like that. Grahta didn’t like to fight. . Tangahr teased him. What. . what Rhega doesn’t like to fight?
Tell him. . TELL HIM! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO HIM!
‘Grahta,’ Gariath whispered, ‘how long have you been awake?’