“Here is my vision!” Kurt said, leaping to his feet.
Mary cursed silently. She should have known this was a bad idea.
“I picture morning dew on lillies in a vase perched by the side of the vibrating bed,” he said. He had his fingers joined to resemble a camera’s viewfinder.
“How did the dew get inside the house?” Mary asked.
“The camera pots down toward the floor,” Kurt continued.
“I think you mean pans, not pots,” Mary said. “The camera pans down.”
“To the most beautiful ass the world has ever seen,” Kurt said. His eyes grew wistful.
“I told you, Patrick, I’m not going to be in this one,” Mary said.
“We move up on the ass like the Allies at Normandy — ”
“Can we back up for a moment?” Williams said. He looked at Mary. She sensed he thought she was the safest bet in the room.
Williams said, “As excited as I am about your director’s visual treatment, what are your casting specs exactly? And did you bring a copy of the script?”
“We’re looking for the actress, of course,” Mary said. “She is the hinge upon which this production will swing. Italian and French actresses are out of the question, of course, as we are not allowed to work in Italy anymore. . really, all of Europe.” She pointed a thumb at Jason. “My star actor here got drunk in Brussels and thought he was making love to an obese barmaid. Turned out to be a farmer’s prize milk cow.”
“Wait, a minute,” Jason said, a confused look on his face. “Are you saying — ”
Kurt held his hands out for silence.
“In order to continue, I’m afraid I need a beer and some chocolate,” Kurt said, an imperious tone in his voice. He glanced back at the office door, looking for the secretary. “Can that be arranged?”
During Kurt’s rant, Mary had taken the opportunity to read some of the names on the files upside down. One of them seemed familiar to her, but she couldn’t place it.
Williams turned his attention from Kurt back to Mary. “I love working with you creative types,” he said. “But I don’t believe I have anyone currently on my roster who would be a good fit for what you have in mind.”
“What about Nina Ramirez?” Mary said. “Her head shot created quit a stir in our office.”
“And in my pants,” Jason said, warming up to his new role.
“Nina Ramirez?” Williams said. His boyish innocence was suddenly gone, replaced with a slightly flustered look.
“I’m not sure I’m familiar with her work,” Williams said, with a noticeable lack of confidence.
“Well, you should — everyone knows you’re her agent,” Mary said. “Now is she available for a screen test? Can she read for us?”
“I represent hundreds of actors,” Williams said. “Why don’t you leave your script with me along with your casting specs, and I’ll see what I can do.”
“But we really had our hearts set on Nina,” Mary said.
Williams checked his massive watch. “Like I said, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Come on,” Kurt said. “We’ve been sporting wood for this chick for a year — in the moviemaking sense.”
“Yeah, where is she?” Jason said, warming up to the idea of putting Williams on the hot seat. Mary was surprised by his perceptiveness, factoring in the ganja haze.
“Gentlemen, and Ms. Rivers, I’m afraid I have a conference call I simply can’t miss,” Williams said. He was suddenly a bundle of nervous energy. He pressed a button near his phone, and the secretary arrived moments later.
“Thank you so much for thinking of me for your project,” the young agent said. “I’m sure it will be an amazing production.”
Mary stood.
“Thank you for your time,” she said. “I’ll buy you a drink sometime. Once you turn twenty-one.”
15
Fifteen
“What part of ‘follow my lead’ did you two Neanderthals not understand?” Mary said.
They stood outside, the hot southern-California sun making Mary wish she was not in a ridiculous outfit that weighed ten pounds. Now she knew how a sausage felt being stuffed into a highly restrictive casing.
“What part of fucking awesome do you not understand?” Kurt said. His big face carried a big, lopsided grin. “That shot I described was incredible, totally cinematic! And it was right off the cuff! Holy shit, I should’ve been a director!”
“You were great, Dad,” Jason said. “I thought my line about the stirring in my pants was cool too.”
“It was a little over the top,” Kurt said to Jason. “But I’ll give you points for trying.”
“Over the top?” Mary said. “Don’t be ridiculous. Uncle Kurt, I thought your performances were really subtle too. Highly nuanced.”
“You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?” Kurt said. He narrowed his eyes.
“You guys were supposed to keep your mouths shut and let me do the talking,” Mary said. “You both sounded absolutely ridiculous. I especially liked the ‘beer and chocolate’ request. That was highly inspired.”
“Oh, get the giant corncob out your butt, Mary,” Kurt said. “That was perfect! These big-time directors like Steven Spielsburger always make requests. You know, M&Ms of one color, hookers without STDs. And they get ‘em, by God! Anything they want!”
Mary unlocked her car and gestured for them to get inside. She fired it up and pulled out onto Ocean.
“They get those things because they’re actually directors,” she said. “Not Ralph’s grocery baggers pretending to be directors.”
“Wow, I wanna direct,” Jason said.
“Quit being so high-strung,” Kurt said to Mary. “That guy didn’t know anything anyway. Christ, he looked like his Dad brought him into his office so he could print off his grade-school paper.”
“Where do you want me to drop you?” Mary said.
“Back at Ralph’s,” Kurt said. “I’ve got a big day in the produce section. You should hear some of those old biddies bitch. Christ, they tell me the cantaloupe are overripe, I tell ‘em to get a fucking mirror.”
Jason snickered in the backseat.
16
Sixteen
The crew was on lunch break. A little food van serving mostly tacos, arrived at the set every day around noon.
Jake Cornell watched the little tyrant director, Morrison, skip ahead in line and place a special order.
He had to stand on his tiptoes to see over the counter.
Jake snickered.
“Out of the way, Drag Ass,” someone said behind him. It was Paolo, the guard from Venice Security.
The big man strutted past Jake, and he had a vague notion to punch him in the back of the head. Ever since the midget director had labeled Jake with his new moniker, Paolo had taken great pleasure in using it at every opportunity.
It was the opportunity Jake had been waiting for. He’d studied Paolo’s routine, and the man loved nothing more than long lunches, going back for seconds, sometimes thirds, as well as dessert.
He also loved to flirt with the makeup girl, who Jake was convinced couldn’t stand the big security guard.
Jake slipped back into the warehouse and went to the locked door.
So far, his undercover mission had turned up very little. LAPD had gotten a tip that Morrison’s production company was using underage girls for its pornographic films. The tip had been passed down to Vice, and in turn passed down to the low man on the totem pole to go undercover.