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It took her nearly a half hour to find it.

“Well, we’re here,” Mary said, and whipped the barrel of her.45 against Buslipp’s temple. He flopped forward and fell against the dashboard like a tree limb that had been freed by a chainsaw.

She got out of the car and circled the biggest and most centrally located warehouse, although it looked like little more than an overgrown metal garage.

There were no windows, and two doors, one on what was probably the front and another in the back corner.

She figured the front would be locked so she tried the back door.

It was locked.

A generator sat behind the building, with thick cables running through a temporary patch in the side of the building.

Mary found her way to a hinged panel next to the part of the generator that had the cables attached.

She unclasped the lid, lifted it, and saw a vast array of switches.

In the dark, she couldn’t make out any identifying marks, so she turned each one in the opposite direction.

Immediately, the generator stopped and started making strange noises.

She repositioned herself by the back door.

In a matter of minutes, the door opened, and a man wearing jeans and a T-shirt emerged. He headed straight for the generator, cursing under his breath. Mary clocked him on the head with her.45, went back to the door, and slipped inside the building.

45

Forty-five

It was an image she instantly knew she would never forget.

A camera on a tripod, two large stands with giant lights on them, and a bed.

On the bare mattress was Nina Ramirez, her legs spread and tied to the corners of the bedposts, her arms also bound, behind her head.

To the right of the camera, propped up against equipment crates was another person with his arms tied behind his back and a strip of duct tape across his mouth. She recognized this person.

Jake.

Two men stood next to the camera. One looked like a security guard. And the second man was tiny, couldn’t have been more than five feet tall.

“Freeze!” she yelled out.

The security guard spun toward Mary, reaching for the gun that was holstered on his hip.

He stopped when he saw the muzzle of Mary’s gun pointing at him.

She kept her gun on the big man, went to Jake, and pulled the duct tape from his mouth.

“Congrats on landing the part,” Mary said. “Lend me a hand here?”

“There’s a utility knife right there,” he said, pointing with his chin toward a metal table off to the side of the stage.

Mary kept her gun trained on the two men as she grabbed the knife and cut the ropes on Jake’s hands.

She carefully handed him her gun and pulled the small pistol from her ankle holster. While Jake covered the two near the camera, she went to Nina.

Mary cut the girl’s restraints and pulled the gag from the girl’s mouth.

“It’s going to be okay,” Mary said.

Nina whimpered something Mary couldn’t understand. She saw a blanket on the floor next to the bed, picked it up, and helped Nina cover herself with it.

“Let’s make some arrests,” Mary said to Jake, who was already moving toward the two men still standing by the camera.

“Put down the gun, Paolo,” Jake said.

“Fucking Drag Ass is a cop,” the little man said.

“Shut up, Morrison, you little piece of shit,” Jake said.

The back door banged open, and Vince Buslipp stumbled inside.

“Cops!” he shouted.

The man Jake had called Paolo lunged forward with his gun in his hand, but Jake was faster and shot him. The bullet hit the big man high, taking out most of his forehead and causing him to spin, his finger pulling the trigger and spraying bullets around the warehouse.

Mary ducked and watched as a round caught Buslipp in the throat. He dropped to his knees, blood spraying from his neck. The little man raced for the door, but Jake tripped him with his hand, causing him to fall on his face.

Jake got to his feet and kicked the little man in the ribs.

“And that’s a wrap,” he said, giving Morrison another kick, this time in the belly.

The door burst open again and cops filled the room, with Jake meeting them at the door.

Mary caught a glimpse of Lieutenant Arianna Davies’s pale face. Typical, she thought. A day late and a dollar short.

She went back to Nina, who was trying to sit up and hugged the girl. “It’s over, Nina,” Mary said. The girl’s face was pale and disoriented, she had obviously been drugged.

“It’s okay,” Mary repeated.

“Where am I?” Nina said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Mary said. “You’re going home.”

46

Forty-six

From the television set in Alice’s living room, a news announcer described the affair that had resulted in a child the mayor of Los Angeles apparently knew nothing about. The freshly deceased Derek Jarvis was taking center stage in the scandal, with reporters speculating on the political fallout.

The public-relations machine that was the LAPD also made some pretty interesting comments, at least from Mary’s perspective. It seemed they were taking credit for breaking up a ring of illegal pornographers, thanks to the work of an especially brave undercover officer.

“I can’t believe no one is talking about the Vice cop who became a porn star during this whole ordeal,” Mary said. “That’s a great news angle. Officer Goes Down is the title, I believe.”

“I like it,” Jake said.

“Oh, I know you do,” Mary said.

Alice came out of the kitchen carrying a tray with two beers and two martinis.

“Jake, I always knew you would end up in porn,” Alice said. “I see you as the young student seduced by the nasty old anatomy teacher. Played by Mary.”

She handed a beer each to Jake and Mary, then a martini to Sanji. Alice set the tray down and took the last martini for herself.

“Thank you, Delicate Flower,” Sanji said to Alice, then slapped her on the ass.

“My pleasure, Long Cobra.”

Mary rolled her eyes, while noticing that Jake was trying not to giggle.

Alice plopped down next to Sanji and put her hand on his thigh. The yoga instructor stroked Alice’s hand.

“So what happens to the girl now?” Alice asked Mary.

“She’s with her mother. Her real, honest-to-goodness mother,” Mary said. “For now.”

It really wasn’t over, in a sense. Mary still had the suitcase of money in the trunk of her car. She figured someone would come looking for it eventually, but until then, she would hold onto it.

“So what about you two?” Alice asked.

Jake looked at Mary with a question in his eyes.

“Yeah, what about us?” he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. “I think my next role will be boyfriend of Mary Cooper.”

“Maybe,” Mary said. She resisted the urge to snuggle up against him. “First, let’s see how you do on my casting couch.”

THE END

Gross Sarcastic Homicide

(Mary Cooper Mystery #3)

by

Dan Ames

“It’s never funny until someone gets hurt.”

— Unknown