“I really can’t discuss an ongoing case, Lily,” he said. “I will tell you that we just got here last night and are catching up on everything. We’ll get him. Soon.”
“I hope it’s sooner rather than later.” She shivered. “That last one was too close to campus.”
“Yes,” Kade murmured. “We are asking for the college to allow a police presence there, just in case. Make sure you never go anywhere on your own, always bring someone, walk back to your dorm with a friend. Never alone.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Nikoli promised.
Kade’s food came, and Lily turned her eyes back to the TV. The news was still talking about the latest victim. If the FBI was here, then the situation was serious. She’d been nervous about the whole situation since she’d seen the first news broadcast over the summer.
She hoped they caught him soon.
***
When Lily returned to her dorm room, she expected to find it empty, but Adam was sitting on her bed, his face troubled. She closed the door and leaned against it. When his eyes met hers, they were dark and thoughtful. The hangover was evident from his wince when the girl in the next room slammed her door.
“You look like hell.” Lily pushed herself away from the door and plopped down in her desk chair.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I feel worse.”
“Getting shit-faced will do that to you.”
He fell back on her bed and started up at the ceiling. “Lily, we need to talk about…well…”
“What you said last night?”
“Yeah.” He still didn’t move. “I know blurting that stuff out at you when I’m drunk wasn’t the best idea.”
“Ya think?”
“I may have been drunk, but I meant every word I said, Lily.”
Lily closed her eyes and counted to ten. A month ago, this conversation would have meant the world to her, but not now. Now, it only meant she had to hurt the one person who had always been there for her through everything.
“Adam, you don’t mean that…”
“Yes, I do.” He sat and looked her in the eye. “I love you, Lils. I’ve loved you my entire life. I just didn’t think you’d ever get better…”
“So you’re only interested in me now that you think I’m getting better?” Anger leaked out of her voice. She couldn’t help it.
“That’s not what I meant.” Adam rolled his shoulders. “I tried, Lily, I tried so hard to help you, but I couldn’t. I don’t understand why Nikoli could, when nothing I did worked. That is what I meant.”
Either way, the outcome was the same. He hadn’t shown any interest until Nikoli. It still stung a bit, but she’d forgiven him somewhere along the way. Didn’t mean she wasn’t pissed he only told her this after Nikoli.
“Adam, I love you. God knows, for the longest time, I thought I was in love with you, but I’ve only recently discovered the difference. You’re my best friend, and you did help me more than you know. Just being there for me, never letting me push you away. That kept me from going off the deep end. You will always be my best friend, and I will always love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
“You love the campus manwhore.” Adam’s eyes dilated, his anger evident in the way his body tensed. “He’s going to break you into little pieces.”
“Then my best friend will be there to put me back together again.” Lily offered him a small smile. She knew it was true. Nikoli was going to hurt her, but she’d take the hurt for the way she felt right now.
“But, Lils, if you’d only listen to what I’m saying, you won’t be broken.” Adam stood and started to pace. “I love you, Lily. We can be so happy together, if you’ll just trust me and let me show you.”
“Adam, what about Sue?”
“What about her?”
“You’re supposed to be getting married in a few weeks. What would that do to her?”
He stopped pacing and sat down on the floor. His face was torn, confused.
“I think you’re only saying all this now because of Nikoli. You love Sue, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then why would you even consider leaving her?”
“Because I love you!” he shouted, his frustration pouring out. “You’re not listening to me, Lily. I love you more than I could ever love Sue. I want to marry you, have kids with you, and grow old with you. Only you. I’ve always wanted that. You are my heart, Lily. It’s killing me watching you and Nikoli, thinking that should be me with you. Every time I see you two together, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. What can I say to make you understand, Lily? I love you.”
Tears blurred Lily’s vision and she wiped them away. He sounded so broken.
“Why, Lily? Why do you trust him and not me?”
“Because I was afraid, Adam.” Her words were hesitant, uncertain. “I’ve been seeing Rebekha again, twice a week for the last few weeks. We’ve been talking about that. I was afraid that if I let myself touch you, you’d die, just like Daddy. I couldn’t do that. My mind refused to even contemplate it. Nikoli had no ties to me. He was a stranger and I wasn’t afraid of hurting him like I was you.”
“Do you still think you can hurt me?”
“No. I understand my fears now, and between Nikoli and Rebekha, I’m getting better.”
“Then why not give us a chance, Lils? Let me show you how much I love you, how good we can be together.”
“Because I don’t love you like that, Adam.” Her voice was quiet, somber. She watched him recoil in hurt, and it nearly made her double over from the pain. “I do love you, but I love you like a brother, like my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life, but that’s all I feel for you, Adam.”
He stood, his movements stiff and slow. His eyes were haunted when he looked at her, but there was a determination in them too. “When he breaks you, Lily, I will be here to pick up the pieces. Then I’ll show you what you mean to me, and maybe you’ll give us a chance.”
“Adam…”
“No,” he cut her off. “Don’t say anything, Lily. I’m not going to give up on you. I’m the one who will be here for you when he’s gone. Remember that.” Adam walked over and planted a quick kiss on her head. It was so fast, it reminded her of Nikoli’s sneak attacks. It was over so quickly she didn’t have time to freak. He gave her a crooked smile and let himself out, closing the door behind him.
Lily closed her eyes and let her head fall to the desk.
Damn you, Nikoli Kincaid, for ruining any chance I had with Adam.
She cried, cried for the life she could have had, for the happiness that might have been, but mostly she cried for the hurt she’d caused the one person who she never wanted to hurt, but had.
Chapter Seventeen
Lily blinked at the bright sunshine as she walked out of the Miami-Dade airport. To her left, Luther looked ready to fall down and kiss the ground. He didn’t fly so well. Even liquor didn’t do the trick. Nikoli had laughed and told him he should have slept. Lily didn’t think that was an option for the poor guy. Flying truly terrified him. She’d plugged in her headphones and watched a movie on her tablet, and then opened a book she’d bought to bring with her. Nikoli had taken his own advice and slept the entire flight. She had a feeling he didn’t like flying either, only he handled it better than Luther.
They waited for the bus that would take them to the car rental facility on the property, and once there, Nikoli rented a new Lexus. Lily would have taken the less expensive Ford Focus, but as Nikoli kept reminding her, he could afford it. Since she’d told him she knew who he was, he seemed almost irritated with her for not asking him for things, but she didn’t want anything from him. Except for his love, and that was something she wasn’t going to get.
The hotel was expensive too. Lily cringed thinking about the room service bill Luther was sure to run up. He loved room service. He’d spent all day yesterday telling her about the wonderful room service the hotel offered. It was their favorite place to stay when in Miami. Nikoli reserved two rooms, one for them and one for Luther. The front desk clerk was overly helpful when he saw them, which made Lily realize they must have stayed here quite a bit over the years for the staff to know them. She shouldn’t be surprised, though. They were into racing, and Miami was a racing city.