In an instant, he gathered me to him, bent his head close to mine. “I am Ryan. But I am Szerain.” He drew a deep and shaking breath as he clung to me and I to him. “Do it,” he told Zack. “Do it now.”
Immediately, Zack put a hand to his head. I held Szerain close, fucking hating this with my entire essence.
“Kara,” Szerain said with burning urgency, “tell Mzatal we were wrong.” He shook harder as the submersion began, weeping against my neck. “Remember me.”
Wrong? About what? I wanted to ask, but I could feel his face shift subtly where it pressed against my neck and knew it was already too late. “I’ll remember you,” I said, crying and sickened. “I swear.”
He still shook, but now it was more a shudder of reaction than of pain. He made an urrk sound and lifted his head. I looked up. He was all Ryan now.
I fought to pull myself together and smile. “Hey, big guy,” I said, doing my damnedest to keep my voice steady. “Glad to see me or something?”
Confusion flickered through his expression, then he gave a shaky smile. “Yeah, ya think?” He straightened, scrubbed a hand over his face self-consciously.
“Summonings do that to me too.” I quickly wiped my own eyes. “Missed you.” I gave him a hug, then looked around the room. Zack looked both queasy and relieved. Tessa still stood pressed against the wall, eyes on Ryan and me. I grimaced inwardly. Forgot all about her. Crap.
Yeah, Tessa and I were definitely going to have a long talk later on. About many things. I met her eyes, held my hand out while silently urging her to not ask, to not shatter this fragile Ryan.
Tessa swallowed visibly, then pushed off the wall and straightened her shoulders, settling her usual confidence and attitude about her like a mantle. She moved to me and took my hand, and I pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Thanks,” I said, voice suddenly hoarse.
“Always,” she murmured. “Now take care of your other business here.” With that she gave me a proud smile, then turned and headed up the stairs.
I exhaled, then looked back over at Ryan. “So, did you bring donuts?” I asked, trying to restore some sense of normalcy.
He blinked, still trying to get his bearings. “Yeah, upstairs.” Ryan’s shaky smile spread into a grin. “You think I have a death wish? Get you back from the demon realm and not have any donuts for you?” He rolled his eyes. “You’d kill me.” He lifted a hand to my face. “You’re really back. God, I was so worried.”
I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. “Yeah, I’m back.”
“Ryan,” Zack said, fully back into his easy-going surfer boy/FBI agent persona. “I need to talk to you for a few minutes after you give Kara her donuts.”
Eilahn chimed softly. “And Kara has had a very long and trying day,” she told both men. “She needs to bathe and to rest.”
“Yes, mom.” I rolled my eyes, yet at the same time a deep relief speared through me. I was exhausted, and I needed time to process everything before facing Ryan again. I also doubted that Zack truly needed to talk to Ryan. More likely he wanted to make sure that Szerain was fully locked down. My mind shuddered away from that thought as I tucked my arm around Ryan’s waist.
“C’mon, bitch, gimme my donuts,” I told him.
He laughed, draped an arm over my shoulder in an unsettling echo of Mzatal’s gesture. “My god, you’re cranky. I knew I should’ve had them waiting down here.”
“Yeah, thought you were smarter than that,” I said, then made a tsking noise. “Forgot. You’re a fed.”
He laughed again and gave me a squeeze as we climbed the stairs together.
Chapter 43
Eilahn bundled me upstairs and bandaged the gash on my arm, though the bleeding had long stopped, and it already looked as if it was closing on its own. Once that was done she helped me into the bathtub and kept an eye on me as well, which was a damn good thing since I ended up falling asleep. Would’ve been an ignominious way to die, especially considering all the shit I’d managed to survive thus far. But she got me out, dried off, and into bed, and by the time I woke up late the next morning, I felt almost coherent enough to make all the decisions I knew I needed to make.
One thing I knew for sure was that I had to get back to the demon realm as soon as possible, which meant summoning Mzatal tonight. It was only a matter of time before the hunt for me began—whether to kill or capture—especially now that I had Vsuhl. I wasn’t safe here, and none of the people close to me were safe either. I needed the shikvihr and everything else I could absorb so that I could become the badass I needed to be and return here as soon as possible. I had a pretty strong feeling that Earth was where I’d be able to make the most difference with the shit coming down. Therefore, I was going to be working and studying as if the fate of the world depended on it. Which, y’know, it did.
However, a planned visit to the demon realm meant I could actually take some of the stuff with me that I missed while there before. I spent the next couple of hours running errands and shopping with Eilahn—now in human form—and Zack. Both stated quite firmly that I was not to be more than five feet away from either of them at any time, and I was to complete my errands as quickly as humanly possible and then get my ass back behind strong wards.
Around noon I headed home to discover that Tessa, Carl, Jill, and Ryan had taken over the place and were deep in the throes of readying a Welcome Back celebration. Eilahn and Zack didn’t look the least bit surprised, which led me to believe they’d been willing accomplices.
I was surprised to find a handful of presents for me, held patiently from Christmas, a month past. The best was my lovely leather coat, which had been either thoroughly and professionally cleaned or replaced outright. I apologized for not having anything to give to anyone, and everyone lovingly teased me for my failure to do any shopping before Christmas, so it was all right.
Jill gave me a fierce hug as soon as she got me alone. “If I start bawling it’s only because I’m pregnant and hormonal and has nothing to do with how worried I was about you.”
I grinned and hugged her back. “Of course not!”
She pulled back, then narrowed her eyes as she searched my face. “You’ve been well-fucked within the last couple of days.
Mouth agape, I stared at her. “How do you do that?”
Jill snorted. “It’s my only superpower.” She leveled a frown at me, but I saw the dark worry in her eyes. “Bad shit happened to you, didn’t it.”
I simply nodded. I had a sweater on that hid the sigils, but Jill had a way of seeing beyond the physical.
Her jaw tightened. “Rhyzkahl?”
I nodded again.
She glowered. “Fucker. You can tell me about it later. Come on. Let’s eat cookies until we burst.”
After presents and cookies I went hunting for Tessa. I finally found her on the back porch, sitting in the porch swing with her boyfriend Carl, their hands entwined. As I stepped out he leaned over, kissed Tessa on the cheek and stood, then surprised the hell out of me by taking my shoulders and kissing me on the forehead before heading inside. I blinked, nonplussed at the utterly unprecedented and unexpected show of affection, then sat in Carl’s spot beside Tessa.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, sweets,” Tessa said, then turned a piercing look on me. “You are okay, aren’t you?”
I thought back to all the shit that had happened—the escape, the betrayal, the torture. But she hadn’t asked if I’d had a lovely time. She wanted to know if I was okay.
“Yeah,” I said, smiling, knowing it to be true. “I’m really okay.” A comfortable silence fell as we gently rocked. Snatches of voices came back to me; the voices I’d heard in the seconds before I was summoned—Ryan and Tessa.