“And why are you discussing this with me?”
“Because I feel I owe you something. Now do you want to hear it or not?”
“OK.”
“See, you two are not completely open as you thought. I told her that I thought she could talk about Taka with you, but she’s afraid. You need to reassure her. Then she’ll bare her soul about everything and seek forgiveness. It will set her free, Kubali. If you really love her, you’ll want her to be happy. And true happiness comes from the inside out. With this locked inside her, she’ll never be truly happy.”
“I know that Taka killed his brother, and that he tried to kill Simba. She was not aware.”
“That’s not what she told me. He went completely mad at the end. She knew it was only a matter of time until there was a civil war, so she worked with the hyenas in their plot to depose the king. She betrayed him to his enemies. They ripped him, you know. Now she has nightmares racked with guilt and remorse. I mean, when Taka died he was screaming her name. And she will carry that burden all her life. She felt she had to tell SOMEONE. It was all bottled up inside her, and she was going crazy holding it inside.”
Kubali’s face fell. Gamu tried not to smile and betray his deep satisfaction. The lie was planted, and he would give it time to grow.
CHAPTER: A MATTER OF TRUST
It was a clear night. Kubali held Elanna’s trembling body beneath his own and shuddered in the grip of passion. He climaxed, and with a roar, he sprang from her. She turned to snarl at him, but she was not angry with him. She rolled over in the grass and invited him over. Kubali lay next to her in the soft grass and looked with her into the night sky. Elanna snuggled into his soft mane listening to his heart beat. It was a comforting sound, a familiar sound, and she drew solace from it. Still, as she scanned the night sky she let out a small sigh.
Kubali looked around. "Are you all right, Lannie?"
“I’m fine. It was nothing, really.”
“If it’s nothing, you won’t mind telling me about it. I mean, we don’t keep secrets from each other--do we?”
She smiled, but it was a melancholy smile. "I was wondering which one of those stars was my Taka. I miss him..."
Kubali frowned slightly, but he quickly hid it. “I know you do, lover...he sounds like he was everything to you."
She turned her head to face him more, "He was. And he used to tell me I was everything to him. He had no other friends. He relied on me for comfort and friendship. I was all that kept him going.”
“I see.” Kubali’s jaw set firmly. “He trusted you entirely, I imagine?”
“Why yes, he did.”
“Uh huh. Everyone needs someone they can trust entirely. Someone whose love for them is unconditional--who would never betray them.”
“I know.” She rubbed his chest mane with her paw. “You are that person for me.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he said.
She seemed to be waiting for him to answer her more meaningfully, but he did not.
“You do trust me, don’t you, lover?”
Kubali changed the subject quickly. “Look, the bats are out. They don’t fly in straight lines like birds.”
Elanna glared at him. “I asked you a question!”
Kubali looked back, tensely. “Look, I’m trying to let this whole business about Taka be firmly in the past. If you help me, I’ll help you.”
“What about Taka?? Today I’ve made love to you many times! Do you think I’d just go crouch with any lion in the bushes??” She shoved him roughly with a paw. “Kubali, if there is no trust between us, there sure as the world will be no more intimacy. I don’t crouch for someone that doesn’t trust me!”
“I trust you all right. I just can’t forget what you did just like that! I’m sorry, but it’s going to take time!”
“And what did I do??”
“You know.”
“Assume for a moment I don’t!”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Look, I trust you, OK? Let’s get some sleep.”
“Sure! You sleep here. I’ll find me a place.”
“Look, you little spitfire, you’re acting like a complete fool! Everything was fine, then all of a sudden you change toward me!”
She got up quickly and moved away from him. "I thought you were gentle and sensitive, but you’re not at all! You’re coarse and inconsiderate, and it’s no wonder they drove you out!”
The words seemed to sting him more than words could express. He stared at her for a while silently, a look of barely suppressed rage on his face. Then when he found his tongue, he blurted out, “Yeah right, like I’m the only outcast here! If you’re so perfect in every way, where are your pride sisters when you need them? Huh??”
Shocked and hurt, tears welled up in her eyes and she stammered, “Good bye, Kubali. It’s over.” She turned quickly and walked off, leaving him alone in the night.
He growled back at her as she drew away, "FINE...leave me.” He shouted, “I don’t need you! You HEAR me?? I don’t need ANYONE!” He let out a loud roar and turned from her.
CHAPTER: HURT FEELINGS
At first Kubali was angry enough to hide from the grimness of his situation. He muttered to himself, “How could she betray Taka? Even if he was insane! I could understand if she’d left him, but having him ripped alive?? My gods! Hey, I was willing to forget and forgive, but she started acting like a complete...."
He stopped and sighed. The loneliness was beginning to find the chinks in his defenses and wear away his resolve. “And I guess I helped her a lot, didn’t I?? Way to GO, Kubali!” He flopped on the ground where they lied together a few moments ago. He inhaled slowly and deeply, reading her fragrance. "She was the most beautiful and loving lioness I had ever met--and I went and blew it! She was my last chance for happiness.” He rolled on his back and sighed. “My last chance. I’ll never forget the look on her face when I rubbed in her exile.” He frowned and growled. “But she never should have said what she did! She started it! She insulted me first! She made me mad, and I just had to say something--I just had....” He sighed again. “Well, I didn’t HAVE to. Oh God, help me! Maybe I’m not the most patient lion in the world, but I really love her, and I need her. Help me please!”
Kubali rolled over and got up. “I am not the lion my father exiled." He opens his eyes slowly, "I will find her...confess my love to her...and ask her to be mine."
He moved off slowly in the direction that he saw Elanna disappear in, nose close to the ground, seeking the scent that will lead him to her.
As Elanna walked away, disappearing into the night, her ears turned to hear his roar of frustration after her. “What did I see in him?” she muttered softly. “He is nothing like Taka. Why did I give myself to him like I did?” She walked a short distance more, intent on leaving Kubali for good. As she continued to move away from him though, she turns her head more often, as if a part of her is saying no. Finally, she gave up and sat down to work through her thoughts.
Out of frustration for her remaining feelings for Kubali, she muttered, “He did not trust me.” She sighed and looked over the open fields. “Maybe I should go home...I have nothing here either. Even if they kill me, I will be with my husband and I won’t be lonely again.” She looks up at the stars, searching for him. “I will join you, my love...you must keep your faith. I will be there to cradle you again, tell you how much you mean to me. In Aiheu’s fields you will dream no bad dreams and I will weep no tears. How could you send me to that lion? You were mistaken about him, Taka. I don’t need the kind of care he gives me. You were wrong, Honey Tree.”