“You don’t understand. Poor dear Lannie! He LOVED me. Every time he passed me, he used to run his paw over my thigh. ‘Crouch with me, Gamu! Don’t you find me handsome?’”
She backed back and snarled. “Liar! You liar! How DARE you say that!”
“You think I’m a liar??” He snarled back at her. “He wanted me all the time, and no one would believe me because he was the prince. Then one day the King saw his son nosing my butt. Do you think he punished Kubali?? No, he tried to hide ME away, thinking he could match him up with Penzi. The superstitious old goat believed the gods spoke in the bending of a twig. Because she was his betrothed, the King refused to see any possible outcome but Kubali crouching with Penzi and raising lots of little cubs. So he tossed me out into the wilderness to live or die by Aiheu’s whim, me too young to hunt properly! Then Kubali has the nerve to greet me like I’m some sort of plague when he finally found a lioness he could bear to make it with!”
She cuffed him across the face. He felt of his cheek--there was no blood. “Claws in. At least I have some good luck left. I have lived a hard life, and I gave up on Aiheu being fair long ago.”
She was almost instantly sorry. “I should not be so hasty to judge. I will hear your story, but may Aiheu have pity on you if you are lying to me!”
“Of course, I never encouraged this. I never once said that I found him attractive, and I would make excuses to get away from him. If it’s any consolation, we never actually DID anything.”
“But he and I made love!” Elanna insisted. “It was so special!”
“I know, and I’m very glad for you. My one great sin was in coming here. I should have turned and run the moment I saw him. My dear, I know you well enough to feel remorse for this.” He showed her some small scratches on the turn of his thigh. “We were having a little wrestling match. I was having fun, but--alas--he found it quite stimulating. He bore me to the ground and began to--well--I shouldn’t be telling you this. I should have just left.”
She sniffed the scratches. As she nosed his thigh, a half smile came over Gamu’s face. “Careful, Missy. Especially now. After all, you’re in season and I find it a big turn on when a lioness touches me there.”
She looked away in disgust.
“Just you be careful with him,” Gamu warned. “He’s made it with you but he’ll never pledge to you. At least not with me around. But say the word and I’ll go far away. I am rather fond of you, my dear, and I don’t want you to be deprived of your happiness and consolation, not after what you’ve been through.”
She looked away. “He COULDN’T be attracted to you!”
Gamu sighed. “You’re right. Whatever you say.” He then added, “But tell me, was he a little awkward? You know, in his technique? He wanted you, but he didn’t quite know what to do?”
She looked at him, explosively angry. “How DARE you ask me that!”
“But it’s true. I can tell by your reaction. He’s not a virgin, you know. Why do you think they sent him packing? Do you really think the lionesses wanted him out of there because he was impolite?? They found him crouching with Ajhada in the bushes and that’s why he was forced out. You can’t trust him around other males. My dear, you must always remain a rogue if you want him--if you love him. Always a rogue. Out here in the open, you have a chance. And who knows--being a father may change him like nothing else would.”
She started to sob. He comforted her with a soft nuzzle. “Poor, dear Elanna! Your life has been a hell on earth. I’m so sorry, so sorry! If only things had been different and Aiheu had shown you to me first, I would have devoted my life to you.” He backed from her. “I’ll go now. You will never see me again. Still, I’ll even mend my ties to Aiheu so I can pray for you every night.”
“No, don’t go.”
“If you really wish it.”
“I do.”
Kubali came back. “It was nothing. Just a rabbit.”
Gamu made a show of an overly affectionate greeting, kissing and rubbing Kubali full length. Innocently, Kubali closed his eyes and enjoyed the closeness. Elanna’s chin trembled.
Kubali came to Elanna and tried to rub her but she backed away from him.
“Don’t you TOUCH me!”
“Lannie, honey tree, what’s wrong??”
“You know EXACTLY what’s wrong!”
Kubali looked at Gamu. “What have you been telling her??”
“Not what you think. Only about how we used to play as cubs.”
Elanna snarled at Kubali. “I never want to see you again. Get out!”
“Out of what?? We’re out in the corridors, remember?? Now Lannie, don’t pull this nice-again, mad-again crap on me! I’ve tried hard to be a good mate, and I’ve put up with a lot from you!”
“Well no longer! No more putting up with me! Get out!”
“Aren’t you going to at least tell me what I did?”
“You know what you did!”
“Fine!”
“OK!”
Kubali turned in a huff and charged off into the savanna.
CHAPTER: STORMY WEATHER
Gamu watched Kubali disappear into the distance, then when it was too late for her to cry out, he looked back around at her. “Lannie, will you ever get over this?”
“Someday. Not today.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.” Gamu sighed and rolled on his back.
Elanna needed the comfort of another living Ka next to her. She came and laid next to Gamu and began to pine for Kubali. Then suddenly she looked about with a start. “You’re trembling.”
“Am I?”
“You feel like a leaf in the wind.”
“So I do.”
She rose and came about to face him. “What’s wrong, Gamu? Are you sick?”
“I was never more well in my whole life.”
“Then are you afraid?”
“Afraid?” He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”
“If you’re not afraid, why are you trembling?”
He looked at her hungrily and intently. “You’re the one that said you hated a liar. You’re the one that wants the truth all the time. I asked you if you could ever get over him. You said someday.” He rose to his feet and faced her. “You are many things, but foolish is not one of them. I inhale the fragrance of a beautiful lioness in her receptive days and feel her warm body next to mine. Oh gods, I’m not made of stone! Ever since I first saw you, I fought my inclinations for Kubali’s sake. But now he’s gone, and I look at you lying there, so alone, so sad, so vulnerable, so very beautiful.”
She backed back a step, but he advanced another two, bringing him almost nose to nose with her. “Here’s the truth, if you can handle it. I breathe in your essence and it spreads like fire through my being. Ever since I met you, I have had passionate fantasies of your soft, beautiful body under mine while I explore you and tremble. Oh gods, to know this pleasure would heal a world of hurts for me.”
Her tail clamped firmly down and she trembled. “There’s no law against dreams. Not as long as they end when you wake up. I will defend myself if I must!”
“Who said I would force myself on you? Lannie, I love you! Did you not question me in depth about my personal feelings? Did you not say you’d leave me if I lied to you? Gods, you’re beautiful and exciting and intelligent and so kind! You’ve had two lovers that I know of, while I am still as I came from my mother’s belly. You saved Taka from total dispair, and you pulled Kubali from the depths of his misery. You see before you a broken lion who has faced pain and hardship, much of it due to Kubali. I cry out for your redeeming love. Be my conscience, my faith, my principles. You could save me! Do you blame me if I tremble before you?? Teach me how to love, Elanna! To love deeply and well. Crouch for me! Please!”