The most disturbing event happened during her sleep. As she was cuddled with Kubali, she feel asleep. She woke up in a dream, to see the land as it was under Taka. The lionesses all looked thin and the lands were parched. She went to Kubali to talk to thing. He turned to look at her, but it wasn’t Kubali’s face that she saw...it was Taka’s...his faced marred by the scar. She gasped and turned suddenly away from, only to come face to face with the king.
“See what you did, daughter? See what you did by your selfishness. You condemned these lands to this horror. If only you would had accepted my offer, this land would not be in this shape. That young lion that I had offered to you...he was the first to die.”
Elanna gasped. “No! Not again! Oh gods, was the curse on me instead?? Was it me all along??”
Suddenly, Elanna’s eyes flew open as she panted heavily against Kubali’s side. Her eyes scanned the area, just to see the peaceful scene she had seen before she feel asleep. Kubali’s eyes slowly opened and looked at her, “Dear?”
She turned to look at him, her breath calming down, “I’m all right...go back to sleep.”
He nuzzled her softly, “Bad dream?”
She purred softly and nodded. “Yes...but I can’t really talk about it. I’ll be fine, love.”
He yawned and gave her cheek a quick lick. “All right dear...if you say so. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
She did not fall asleep, however. Her mind raced of thoughts of the king’s word to her. Would this land fall into a drought because of me? Would Aiheu punish us all for my selfish love? What if he knew that I could never give him a cub? Now I’m not only ruining his future, but the future of a pride.
That last thought stung her deeply. She could never be his queen because of that. There would be no continue of the line beyond him. She looked down and sigh. She would have to leave him...give him a chance to have a future. She nuzzled against him, knowing it would be their last night together. He grunted with satisfaction, feeling her warmth against his body.
The next morning came quickly and she looked at him, fondling his mane like she did the first night. “Thank you for all of the things you gave me.”
He woke up slowly, purring at the fondle. “Thank me for what love?”
She looked at him sadly. “For all of the times we were together.” She sighed, building up her courage. “Love...I have to go.”
His head shot up instantly. “What? Why?” he stammered.
She continued to fondle him gently. “Dear...I have kept a horrible secret from you...something you must hear before you take me as your queen.”
His tongue licked at her paw. “Whatever it is...you will always be my queen.”
“Dear...I can’t have cubs.”
He looked at her stunned. “What?”
“Taka gave me cubs one time, but it was not to be. The cubs came out dead...along with any chances of me having anymore.”
He shook his head. “I don’t care...I love you. You will still be my queen.”
“And what about the pride? Without me being able to have cubs, you will have no heir. Your line will end.”
He licked her check softly. “I don’t care about being king...I care about you.”
“But you are prince, and a prince must someday be a king. You must not think about yourself. You must think of your pride.” She rose up slowly, giving him a soft lick. “Look for me when you join the stars. Part of you will always be with me, and I will not forget you.” With that, she slowly began to walk off.
Kubali rose up also, following her. “I’m coming with you...I give this up for you.”
She turned quickly, “No...you can’t. You must stay here and be king.” Kubali froze as she continued, “Tell your father and Debara thank you for welcoming me.” She moved back to him and gave him another nuzzle. “Tell Penzi that she will get a loving mate.”
“Elanna...please.”
“Before when we parted it was because of a secret, a lie, or a misunderstanding. This time I am completely certain in what I’m doing. This time it’s the truth that must split us apart. You know what will happen if I remain. Your father will discover that I am barren, and he will drive me off. I will tell him so myself before I let you throw away everything Aiheu meant you to have. Besides, it is Penzi that really loves you. I just wanted a little companionship.”
“Don’t say that!”
“But it’s true! I like you well enough, and you’re a very good lover as far as that goes. But I’m just not in love with you. Penzi is, and your feelings for her could be returned.”
“But Elanna! I know it’s not so! I know you love me! I felt your body tremble next to mine! Oh gods, you can’t tell me that was all an act!”
She kissed him gently. “That does not matter now. You gave me back my self respect. We were together when we needed each other. Now you need Penzi and she needs you.”
“And what do you need??”
“I need to face my past. I need to go some place where you can’t come. Darling, if you love me, let me go. Please??”
“Say you love me first.”
She looked at him, eyes moist with tears. “I won’t lie to you. I am a ripped gazelle, and my heart is being slowly eaten.” She came and kissed his cheek quickly, then turned and trotted away into the grass. A short distance off, she heard his mournful roar. She fell to the ground and sobbed.
CHAPTER: SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR
The heat started to build as the sun rose in the sky. A lone lioness walked through the golden savanna, unsure where to go.
Her future looked bright just the day before, but now she was alone again. She had been with Kubali for so long, she had forgotten what it felt like to be alone. Looking around, all she could see was the flowing grass. Not only was she alone...she was lost.
She continued to walk, desperate to find her way back to where she was. She continued to look for any sign of a jutting rock that signaled her childhood home. Her mind now set...it was time to face her punishment. If they accepted her back, at least she would have companions. If not...she would join her long lost husband.
The problem was trying to find her old home. She had been walking for nearly a full day, and her legs were starting to buckle under her. It had been a few days since her last good meal, so hunger started to return to her body. Finally, after she had walked as far as she could, her body gave out and collapsed the ground.
Her stomach protested, but she tried to put that in the back of her mind as she did with the memory of her husband. Her aching limbs seemed to make a sigh of relief as her weight now spread over her whole body. She laid her head down on the ground and mumbled softly, “Hunt tomorrow...” She was soon asleep.
Her sleep was restless. Her first night in a long time with out someone next to her was troublesome. She missed the warmth of Kubali’s body and she missed the safety she felt when next to him, her head buried in the soft hair of his mane. How she wished she could be next to him, but deep down she knew it wasn’t meant to be.
Aiheu had other plans for her, but what? She wanted to be in a group--she hated being a rogue. The fear of what her old pride still felt about her preyed on her mind...the hyena’s warning rang in her ears. “They’ll rip you!”
She woke the next day, not really feeling refreshed at all. She rose out of the grasses and yawned, looking around. She looked into the sky, seeing them. “Can it be the same group,” she wondered aloud. She wasn’t going to take the chance that they weren’t and began to move towards the circling birds. In a few minutes, she caught up with the group and smiled.