When she finished in the kitchen, she made the bed and tidied the bedroom, then she set her sights on cleaning the bathroom. Anything to keep her mind off what was happening between her and John.
Snow crunched under John’s boots, breaking the silence of the morning. Frustration ate at his gut, but he wouldn’t allow it to rule his actions. Topaz was afraid. It was like a punch in the gut when he’d realized it this morning. She didn’t want to talk about a future between them, and it wasn’t because she wasn’t attracted to him. There was no question that they were physically compatible.
So what was the problem?
He was tempted to call one of her sisters and ask, but knew he wouldn’t. Whatever was happening between him and Topaz was private.
His phone vibrated and he yanked it out of his pocket and read the display. He might have known. He thumbed the button and held the phone to his ear. “Yeah.”
“You okay?” His brother’s voice rumbled on the other end. Jake and he had a connection that went deeper than simply being brothers. They were twins and always knew if the other one was upset about something. There was an unspoken communication between them that had helped save their lives many times over their years in the Army and during their time with the Rangers.
John rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and settled against the trunk of a birch tree. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. How are things going with Topaz?”
Jake was the only person he’d told what he was doing. And that was only because it was so ingrained for him to have a backup just in case of emergency. “I don’t know.” Saying the words aloud unsettled him. He’d been so certain if he could just get her away from all the distractions of life he could get her to see that they had something special together. Now he wasn’t so sure.
“They’re complicated women.” John could hear the humor and the underlying strain in his brother’s voice.
“They are that.” He knew that Jake had a thing for Sapphire Jewel and was trying to come to grips with his own feelings. “I’m forty years old, Jake. We’re forty. I know what I want out of life.”
“And you want Topaz.” Jake finished John’s thought.
“She’s the missing piece. What I need for my life to make sense.” He wasn’t quite sure how to explain it. “She quiets the demons, you know? She gives my life focus. Direction. A reason.” Shit, it sounded stupid to say it out loud and he wouldn’t say it to anyone else but Jake. He felt like a pansyass talking about his feelings.
“I know what you mean.” Jake’s quiet response made John feel not quite so stupid.
“Yeah, I guess you do. What a pair we are.”
Jake laughed. “We are at that. But we know how to fight for what we want, how to get around barriers and gain the objective. We don’t give up. Ever.”
His brother was right. He wasn’t a quitter. If this weekend didn’t work, he wouldn’t give up. The main thing he needed to do was uncover why Topaz seemed afraid to talk about a future with him. He couldn’t fix the problem until he knew what it was.
“Thanks, man.” John knew he could always count on his brother to be there for him.
“Take it easy and call if you need anything.”
“Will do. And right back at you.” John ended the call and tucked his phone back in his pocket. He strode toward the cabin, needing to see Topaz. He wanted to kiss her full lips and touch her smooth skin. Mostly, he simply wanted to be with her.
He hurried up the two steps to the door and let himself in. The kitchen area was cleared away, the dishes draining in the rack. He didn’t think the counters had ever gleaned quite so well before. Even the stove was shining in the sunlight streaming in through the window.
From down the hallway, he could hear her humming, and was suddenly filled with the need to hold her in his arms to convince himself he wasn’t losing her. He wiped his boots on the mat and walked silently down the hall.
She was bent over the tub, scrubbing the sides and humming a song he didn’t recognize while she worked. It was the most relaxed he’d ever seen her. He leaned against the doorframe and observed her, paying particular attention to the way the material of her jeans clung to her heart-shaped ass.
As he watched her work, he wondered what it was about this woman that attracted him like no other. Intelligence, obviously—that was a given. She loved her family, was loyal and honest. She had a great laugh and enjoyed going to art movies. She also had a passion for action movies. He wasn’t aware of too many other people who knew her secret vice, but they’d spent many nights during their time together on opposite ends of her sofa with a big bowl of popcorn between them while bombs exploded on the screen in front of them.
As though she felt his eyes on her, she turned around. “Hey. I didn’t hear you come in.” She pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and offered him a tentative smile.
She was also the most put-together woman he’d ever known. She was wearing jeans, but they had a discreet designer label. And since breakfast she’d slipped on a pair of earrings with stones that matched her sweater. She was also wearing a coordinating bracelet. She should have been high maintenance, but she wasn’t. Dressing that well came as natural to her as breathing.
Most women wore sweats to clean the house, but not his Topaz.
“Want to go for a walk? There’s a stream not too far from here and there’s hardly any snow on the path.”
“Sure. Just give me a minute to finish up here.”
“Take your time.” He enjoyed watching her. A sense of rightness settled over him and John knew that he’d do whatever it took to claim this woman. They belonged together. Whatever objections she had he would find a way to get past them.
As she rinsed the tub, she glanced over her shoulder at him several times. “You can wait in the living room if you want.” He was making her nervous, which wasn’t good, but he wanted her to be aware of him and he couldn’t do that if he wasn’t nearby.
“I like the view from here,” he drawled, looking pointedly at her butt.
A burst of laughter escaped her before she could stifle it and she gave him a mock glare. “I can see I’m not going to get any more work done in here.” She tossed the sponge onto the side of the tub and straightened. “We might as well go for a walk now.”
Topaz came toward him, but he didn’t move and continued to block the entrance to the room. She stopped in front of him, hands on her hips, and raised an eyebrow in question. Damn, she was hot when she went all authoritative on him. He could easily picture her giving that same glare to some supplier and having that person fall all over themselves trying to fix whatever the problem was.
But he was made of sterner stuff.
“You gotta pay the toll, babe.” He pointed at his lips.
She laughed again and cocked her hip to one side. “Is that so?”
“Yup.” He enjoyed playing with her, teasing her. She hadn’t had a lot to laugh about these past months. He liked her smile, the way the corners of her mouth turned upward, and the sparkle that illuminated her golden eyes so they appeared to shimmer.
“Hmmm.” She took a step closer to him and pressed her hands against his chest. She ran them up to his shoulders, teasing his nape with her fingers.
“Is the toll expensive?” she asked.
“You have no idea.” His voice was lower than normal, arousal making it deeper, rougher. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep from kissing her. He wanted her to initiate the kiss.
She went up onto her toes and pulled his head toward her. “I think I’m up to it,” she whispered just before her mouth touched his.