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1) Three cases of Mountain Dew. Original flavor only.

2) One new “Bruce Lee” yellow tracksuit. XXL size only.

3) One Motel 9 “All You Can Eat” breakfast buffet voucher.

Sincerely,

Avery Bartholomew Pendleton

P.S. – The New York Yankees won’t lose forever. You should keep my phone number handy. The chupacabra will have its revenge…