Her breath caught on a sob.
There. It was done.
He spoke, although he was too far away for her to hear. The militia captain looked startled, squinting at her as if the sun was shining in his eyes, while the ostiary's posture suggested a more complicated wine fermented with equal parts rue, resignation, and compassionate amusement. They took themselves off, crunching away on a graveled path.
Anji picked up one of the knives holding down a corner of his maps. Then he came, his trim figure simply arrayed in a tunic of first-quality silk dyed a shade of red so bold it seemed garish, like a fabric someone with poor judgment had chosen for him just because it was gaudy.
She was shaking so hard she grasped at the thought, as trivial as it was. She needed something to hold on to as he mounted the steps onto the porch.
'That color does not suit you, Anji. It reminds me of the way young men boast to get attention. Subtle greens and blues are more elegant.'
He passed Tuvi, handing him the knife, and put his hands on Mai's shoulders, holding her so he could examine her. The weight of his hands was familiar; his scent, laced4with sweat and horse and the mild spice of khaif on his breath, made her want to wilt into his arms; his gaze devoured her.
'How can this be?' he murmured, hands hot on her shoulders and face flushed with that same driving heat.
Without another word he embraced her and kissed her, and although she had meant to say a hundred things to him, to negotiate, to name a higher price than the market value, she could say nothing. She clung to him. She twined her hands in his hair. She kissed him wildly. This was still her Anji.
'Anjihosh!' Tuvi's voice was the whip that separated them, and his the hand that wrenched Anji away from her. 'She is a demon. You must see that.'
Anji yanked hjs arm out of the chief's grasp. 'Of course.' He rested a hand so gently on the curve of her cheek that she sighed, feeling those cursed tears again. 'Of course she must be.'
Love is cruel. Could she do nothing but weep?
She stepped back out of reach of his hand. 'Anji. Your mother had me stabbed.'
'I know.'
'I fell into the pool, but the firelings healed me.'
'The firelings?'
'The pool is the womb of the firelings.' She could not make sense of her surging feelings, one instant wanting to kiss him and the next to rage. 'Why did you kill Uncle Hari? You promised him safety. You promised me you'd protect him.'
He shrugged off the question. 'The cloaks are all corrupted. It was necessary to save the Hundred.'
'Then kill me, too. If you think I'm a lilu, isn't it necessary? Didn't your mother think it was necessary to rid herself of a rival? Just be quick about it, so I don't suffer more than I have already. Tuvi has a sword, and he's holding your knife.'
'You are my knife, Mai. Even if you are a demon. So be it. I am
helpless before you. Or maybe the firelings fell in love with you as any man must love you, and have healed you and sent you back to me, where you belong. That's all that matters, isn't it? Now you are here.'
'Anjihosh-' said Tuvi.
'Give her the knife, Tuvi. If she wants to kill me, let her do it now.'
T don't want the knife!'
'What do you want, Mai?' He took her hand in his, turned it over, kissed her palm in a promise that made her flesh burn and her heart sing.
I want it to be what it was before.
'Papa! Papa!'
Anji let go of her hand. Out of the garden had come a procession, unseen and unheard until now. A lovely little child toddled forward on stout legs toward the porch, half ready to fall forward in his haste. Anji laughed and leaped down to the path to scoop up the toddler before the lad tumbled onto his face on the gravel. Tuvi made a sharp gesture, and the half-dozen persons halted dead still back by a hedge that screened the far porch from the eye of this one. There they waited obediently. All were women, drawing up cloth to cover their faces so Mai saw nothing but a distant glimpse of kohl-lined eyes and expensive silks in colors as garish as Anji's tunic.
Anji hopped back up on the porch, holding Atani with the ease of much practice. How sweet the baby was! How much he had grown! How dear and precious her beautiful boy had become! He was a darling, as sunny as day and with a brilliant chortling smile that vanished as soon as Mai extended her arms to take him. He flung himself against his father's shoulder to hide his face.
'He's shy,' said Anji. 'It's the age for it.'
'Won't he come to me?' She touched Atani's back tentatively, that sweet flesh like balm to her aching heart, but Atani glanced up and, shrieking, squirmed against his father, anything to get away from her.
She recoiled, gulping down tears.
'Mistress,' said Tuvi, his grimace one of sudden sympathy. 'He doesn't know you. It's been too long.'
T know,' she gasped.
That didn't make it hurt less.
One woman stepped away from the others, still holding cloth
across her face, but a gesture from Tuvi stopped her on the path, where she was too far away to really know what was going on. Anji's expression clouded. A frown splintered his joy, and the child sobbed once and was silent.
'That woman is pregnant,' said Mai.
'Yes.' He descended and kneeled on the path, setting down the boy and speaking softly into his ear, then patting him on the rump. 'Go to Mama,' he said, giving the child a swift, affectionate kiss on each plump cheek. 'Go now, Atanihosh. Hurry!'
The unfortunate stranger was forgotten. The boy set out with laughing determination. 'Mama! Mama!' he cried, trundling down the path with his arms outstretched toward the other woman.
'I have to sit down,' Mai whispered as her heart was ripped from her. It would have been better to be dead.
Tuvi reached for her, but Anji had already jumped back onto the porch and he caught her and held her as Atani was swept up into the arms of the woman he called 'Mama' and whisked away behind the hedge.
'Mai,' Anji whispered fiercely, holding her close, 'don't leave me. Stay here with me. Don't faint. I've got it all worked out.'
'Anjihosh,' objected the chief. 'Your mother-'
'She's got the treaty she wants. A grandson to raise. My wife will bear a child and we'll be fortunate if it is a girl. Why should I not take a second wife? I suppose it was inevitable. It was just too difficult to consider at the time, with the demons' army threatening the north. But now with the enemy army mostly hunted down and killed, there's no impediment-'
Mai shoved him off, slamming back into the wall, bracing herself against it. 'None? Not after your mother tried to kill me when I wouldn't agree to become your second wife? When I refused to step aside and let her rule over my household, the one I built and nurtured and fed? Knowing she set her agent on me, Anji, you think I'll expose myself to her again?'
He shook his head impatiently. 'Of course not. I can see it would be impossible for you to live under her suzerainty. But it is easy enough to set up another household, one that you hold authority over entirely. Some place close by, that a reeve can lift me to-'
'When you want sex? A second household? Close by? For your convenience? Do you expect me to agree to this?'
'The boy can visit you, Mai. I would bring him with me.'
'Visit? My son can live with me!' she cried, seeing the trap as it was sprung, the bait her hunger for her baby, as desperate as she was to hold her child against her breast.
'Ah,' he breathed. 'The boy.'
He glanced at Tuvi, at the eaves, at the hedge behind, and at the empty, silent garden. At his own hands. He wore her wolf's-head ring on his little finger, and it was this he stared at. She could practically see the thoughts chasing behind his eyes in currents and countercurrents, two rivers of desire colliding and mingling until, at last, his gaze hardened, even if the expression was tempered with regret.