'Neh. The boy belongs to her now. That was part of the agreement, that he believe she is his mother. It's the only way to ensure his safety. Surely, Mai, you can see that Atanihosh's survival must be our chief concern. A bitter price, but a necessary one. You and I will have other children. Many others, plum blossom.'
He reached to embrace her. She extended a hand, palm out, to stop him.
The future, a bolt of shimmering first-quality silk, unrolled before her. An elaborate compound furnished just as she wished, with painted screens and embroidered pillows and a spacious counting room for her mercantile business fitted with drawers and cubbies and writing desks, and that irritating Keshad as her chief accountant. She would insist on living in a town, or preferably a city like Toskala with a substantial market, whose streets and alleys and stalls she and Miravia could browse at their leisure. She would become a woman of means, using the coin she had herself earned, nothing gifted to her, and no doubt she could demand a position on the council which naturally no council would deny her. And Anji, for a day or a week or a month at a time, in her bed. His kisses and his warm embrace.
She enduring the cage for the sake of the boy, as Anji's mother had done all those years locked up in the women's palace within the emperor's palace in the Sirniakan Empire. All that she was, having meaning only because of the precious boy and a powerful man's desire for her.
'That's your offer,' she said, drawing down her market voice and her market face. 'Now here is my counteroffer.'
'Mai,' he said softly, with a soft smile that cut as sharply as steel, 'there is no counteroffer. There never was. Not since that day in Kartu's market.'
The thing about Sheyshi stabbing her is that it had anticipated the pain yet to come. This pain, severing flesh and bone and blood, she must absorb without letting any trace of it show on her face. She must lock it away now and only later let the agony tear through her.
'No.' She eased her hand away from his chest, not sure what she would do if he were to move in to kiss away her defenses, but the word was shield enough. His brows drew down; his gaze narrowed in that way it did when he felt thwarted. T will not be your second wife, and have my son call another woman "mother." I want my son back and to be your partner, as we were before.'
He laughed bitterly, his hand darting in to grasp strands of her hair that had fallen over her shoulder, to twist them between his fingers. 'Oh, Mai, however much I might wish it, it's impossible. We've crossed under the gate. There is no going back.'
She turned her head away, and he released her.
'This isn't about going back,' she said. 'But we can go forward on the path we were set on before. I had my business ventures, my warehouse. You were captain of Olossi's militia…'
She faltered.
He, who was now in all ways but in name the ruler of the Hundred. The Qin commander, accustomed to conquest.
To think she had mistaken him for the hero of the tale.
Flowers swayed as the wind danced through them. A high-pitched shriek of excitement rang: her child's voice. Then there was silence but for the rustling leaves and the mournful ripple of the awning. The unweighted corner of the map rose, as invisible fingers pried for secrets, and sagged down again.
Tuvi took her hand in his with the affection of an elderly uncle who has seen a great deal of the world and knows what to value. In his measured expression she saw the chief she had grown so very fond of. 'Mistress, he will treat you well. Be sure of that.'
'No.'
Tuvi's smile was like the last spark of the sun before darkness swallowed day, more farewell than comfort. 'A lilu would have said yes. If you leave now, Mistress, you can never return.'
'If she leaves?' cried Anji. 'She can't leave!'
The market was her territory. Here, she knew what to do. T have coin enough to pay you in full what you paid to my father.'
His was an anger chained and bound. 'You are not my slave. I
have never treated you as a slave. But you cannot leave, Mai. I will not allow you to go out into the world where some other man will claim you. Then I would have to kill him.'
'And me? Would you have to kill me?' she asked sadly. 'Neh, Tuvi-lo, stand aside, for it's better if I know the truth.' With a sigh Tuvi took a step away, leaving Anji to face her.
He wanted to touch her — she could see it in his posture, his hands, his expression — but he refrained. 'You know I could never harm you, plum blossom. I have never even raised my hand against you — except that one time. Mai, when I look at you I see all that is best in the world. Your beauty, your generosity, your intelligence, your honor. How can you expect me to step back and let that go?'
'Anji, there's something I must tell you.' Because there is always a counteroffer. 'When Sheyshi stabbed me, when I fell into the pool, I lay in a place which is caught between the life of the world and the Spirit Gate beyond. When I woke, I thought it was the same day, that only a few breaths had passed while I struggled to reach the surface. Do you understand me? Months passed for you, but for me — for my body — it was less than a pair of breaths.'
She had taken him off guard.'
'I'm pregnant, Anji.' She couldn't lie outright. But he was vulnerable, and so she must strike. She need only speak a name, and he would presume the rest. 'Joss.'
The veil ripped asunder. She had one glimpse of sheer brutal throat-choking fury.
'Tuvi, give me your sword.'
The chief coolly interposed his body between them. 'No, Captain. You'll regret it later.'
'Tuvi, give me your sword.' He wasn't a man to grab at things. He expected to be obeyed.
'No, Anjihosh.' Keeping his back to her, Tuvi said, 'Mistress, return by the way we came to the reeve hall and don't ever come back.'
'Tuvi, where are Priya and O'eki? Please tell them that I live, and that they should stay with Atani if they must, to care for him, but if they are at all unhappy, then they must-'
Til tell them. Go.'
She fumbled at and opened the door. Even then she thought perhaps Anji might call after her, might realize how ridiculous his suspicions were, might change his mind, might see a different
path, the one she wished for rather than the one he had chosen, but after all, he did not.
46
The night is dark, and the sky is hazy, and a campfire is burning like a friendly beacon, three figures seated companionably if forlornly within its fragile aura. Folk like to tell tales and sing around campfires, especially if they are seated at the edge of an abyss as threads of fire flicker like lightning across the stone ledge on which they rest.
'The brigands raged in,
they confronted the peaceful company seated at their dinner,
they demanded the girl be handed over to them.
All feared thenf. All looked away.
Except foolish Jothinin, light-minded Jothinin,
he was the only one who stood up to face them,
he was the only one who said, "No."'
'And then what happened?' a woman asked with a rough-timbred, sexy laugh just exactly like Marit's, the laugh of a woman who is not afraid to see the humor in just about anything because she's learned that's one way to make sense of life. T mean, truly what happened? Did you start talking on and on and on until-'
'Until they fled out of boredom? Until they expired for not having any air to breathe after I had used it all for my lengthy speech? No, indeed, that is not what happened, even if you think it must be. I'm deeply saddened and grievously wounded that you would even insinuate such a thing.'
Marit laughed again.
'In the tale,' said a third voice, 'you cry aloud about the injustice. You gather crowds, who listen, who gain courage. The bandits cut you down for they fear to hear you speak the truth. And then the people rise up in noble anger and drive them away, and the girl-' Here her raspy childish voice took on a shine of intensely smug contentment. ' — is saved and never troubled again.'