So after pacing I did what we call a "content reframe." What I just said changed the meaning of what was occurring. Rather than just being unpleasant experiences, the memories are now the basis for knowledge and skills.
Man: After you pace, could you put that part of him in front of him ana nave him observe what happened in the past?
Excellent. "I want you to .see yourself at that particular age and have a sense of curiosity about what specifically happened … with your eyes and ears now open to what occurred and a sense of comfort in knowing that you survived it." That would create a dissociation from the unpleasant feeling as well as a content reframe. That's the basis for the NLP technique for curing phobias, described in detail in Frogs into Princes–Man: The person that I was doing the exercise with got into something very quickly. His eyes started doing lots of rapid eye movement, his head was moving back and forth, his arm started to move, and I saw a lot of tension in his jaw. I was really confused. I didn't know whether or not this was an unpleasant experience, resistance to being hypnotized, or something else. I'd like some suggestions.
This brings up the importance of making the distinction between interpretations and sensory–grounded experience. "Increased tension in the muscles along the jaw line" and "head moving back and forth" are sensory–grounded descriptions, in contrast to the last two things that you mentioned. "Unpleasant experience" and "resistance to being hypnotized" are in the realm of hallucinations and guesses. Hallucinating is fine—in fact it is an important part of the art. However I really insist that you all make a clear distinction between when you are using sensory–grounded descriptions and when you are hallucinating.
Rather than spending your time internally trying to figure out what interpretation is appropriate, you can simply begin to verbalize sensory–grounded descriptions of what you can see and hear. You can describe muscle tension, tears, body posture, or breathing, etc. That will maintain rapport by pacing and matching their experience.
You have the choice of saying something like "And what a strong experience that was, and you were a bit surprised, were you not?" Or "And these signals which you have offered me on the outside have a powerful connection with the rich internal experience that you are presently having."
Often when a person first goes into a trance, his muscles relax, and you will notice an increase of moisture in his eyes, or a few tears. Don't hallucinate. It may mean that he is really sad, or it may mean that he is just relaxing. For you to decide which it is would be to impose your own belief and value system. Stay out of the content, and simply mention the obvious. "And as that tear trickles down your cheek, you have a growing sense of comfort and security, knowing that you are fully protected." There's no necessary connection between the tear going down the cheek and comfort. However, as long as you begin with an immediately verifiable sensory–grounded description—the tear going down —and then connect it with the response you would like to develop, you utilize what occurs to lead the person where you want him to go.
Joan: I inadvertently used a very powerful word for my partner. I asked him to think of his hands as being "disembodied," He immediately went into this thing of carrying around a very heavy disembodied arm. When that word came out of my mouth, I realized that it was wrong, but I didn't know how to correct it.
Well, first of all, reorganize your own representation. There was nothing to correct. You see, there are no mistakes in communication, Joan. There are only responses or outcomes that you get by your communication. The response that you got wasn't the one that you wanted. That doesn't make it a mistake; it just makes it the next step in getting the response that you do want.
You noticed that when you mentioned the words "disembodied arm" you got a violent response. Given the principle of incorporation, what do you do? You immediately say "And that really upsets you." That is one choice. Notice that it's not a sensory–grounded statement. I am making a guess that the name of the experience that I've just elicited would fit into the general, vague category called "upset."
If you don't trust yourself to make those guesses, then you stay completely general. "And you really have a response to that. And there are many responses that you might learn to make to that particular item." You don't even know what he was responding to, so you say "that particular item." Or "You might consider how your close friend would respond to that idea in a way which is different from the way that you just did." Again, you are incorporating.
If you want to stay very general, you say "You have a very powerful response." That will always pace appropriately. You aren't even saying if the experience is positive or negative—only that it exists. If you stay very general you will always be right.
If you guess that the person is experiencing something unpleasant, after you pace you can say "And how pleasant it is to remember the unpleasant experiences of the past and have the sense of satisfaction of having survived those things so that they need never happen again." Or "And how unpleasant certain experiences are… . Knowing that such unpleasant experiences form the foundation … for present strengths … it is quite pleasant (voice tone shift) … to remember how unpleasant … some of our previous experiences have been,"
This is called content rcframing. (See the book Reframing.) You are taking a response and you are putting it in a bigger context in which the response and the experience itself now become a positive foundation upon which other responses can be built. You have accepted the behavior absolutely. That's there; you don't tamper with it. And then you put it in a frame that says to use it constructively.
You can also take measures in advance to insure that whatever material initially emerges will be pleasant, so that you associate positive experiences with altered states of consciousness. Then later you can learn to deal with the other unpleasant stuff that may be there.
An easy way to avoid the abreaction difficulty is to look meaningfully at the client before you begin and say "Your unconscious mind has protected you–which is its prerogative and its duty—during your entire life, from material from your personal history that might be painful or overwhelming if it were to become conscious. I call upon your unconscious mind to continue to perform that function as it has in the past. And as you alter your consciousness, the first experiences that you have will be designed specifically to remember and uncover and enjoy once again some positive and delightful part of your past. The unpleasant material which is also located in that system can be sorted out and set to the side in a safe place for the time being. Once you have some facility with altered states, unpleasant material can be dealt with in a comfortable and powerful way, because the so–called negative experiences in our past often form the foundation for the very powerful resources that we have in the present, when seen, heard and felt in a new way."