Godzilla turned around and nodded "yes." I said "Now there's only one problem left. You've got someone to defend you and take care of the monsters if you need it. But Godzilla is big and clumsy. He's strong, and he'll take care of you, but you don't want him tromping around in dreams when you don't need him."
Listen to the presupposition in that statement. That statement said to him " You will have dreams. Some will have monsters and some won't. Godzilla will be appropriate in some dreams and in some he won't be." I was beginning to convert dreaming back into a normal, even enjoyable activity, rather than the time to have nightmares. At that point Dave told me that in the story about Godzilla, there's a kid who wears a special necklace. When this Kid wants Godzilla to arrive because he's being threatened by other monsters, all the kid does is touch the necklace. That's the signal for Godzilla to arrive.
I asked Dave's mother "Would you be willing to spend an hour this afternoon taking Dave around to some jewelry stores to find a necklace that will work for him as a signalling device?" I needed to be careful about over–all ecology here. In his town a little boy running around wearing a necklace wouldn't go over very well. I told him that he was only to wear it on evenings when he knew he would need it. Again, this was a way of putting the whole thing under his control.
In this example I didn't challenge the child's belief system; I didn't challenge the way he labeled things. I did no interpretation, but rather had the flexibility to enter into the child's world of beliefs. I then used devices within that world that were appropriate for getting the choices that the child needed at the time.
Man: What if the nightmares were just a symptom of something else?
All you know about when you work with an individual or family are the symptoms. My guess is that the nightmares did represent something going on within the family system, though I have no idea what. I asked Pam to keep a watch on the family to find out if any other symptoms emerged. Six months later she reported that there were no other symptoms. If other symptoms had emerged, I would go to reframing.
By responding to Dave's nightmares the way I did, I changed their meaning. In essence, I reframed them. The fact that I did this in the mother's presence was also important, because that changed her response to the nightmares. I gave her an example of a different way of responding to the nightmares.
Woman: Why did you use the dreaming arm technique?
It's just a game, and I wanted to begin with a game. With children, framing things as games produces a much more useful response than framing them as problem–solving. The dreaming arm is particularly useful in dealing with nightmares because it places visualization under the control of the child.
Benediction
Man: You have about eight minutes for your benediction. I just thought you might like to know that.
You want us to put you into trance, huh? We decided not to do it this time, We were going to give you lots of post–hypnotic suggestions, but we decided we wanted to find out what would happen if we just left you hanging. We wanted to know if we could come back here next year and you'd all still be sitting here.
OK. During the course of the past three days you have gone through a whole variety of experiences and learnings. There, it feels much better already, doesn't it? Now take a few moments and think about the sequence of what has occurred here. Go back to the beginning—three days ago—and quickly run through and review internally the things you learned. What are the things you want to take with you when you go back to your office, your home, your family? … Because the learnings you had here in the Grand Ballroom could stay in the Grand Ballroom, but they won't if you notify yourself when and where you want them to go.
You see, learning can remain in one state of consciousness. State–conditioned learning is a fact. Once a group of medical students I worked with were given an examination in the same room in which they learned the material. Each one passed the exam beautifully. Five minutes after the exam, they were taken across the campus to the gymnasium and given the same examination. Seventy–five percent of them flunked it, because the learnings of their classroom were not always available in other contexts. And the learnings of the gymnasium weren't very useful in taking a medical exam.
This selective availability of information keeps your mind from being cluttered unnecessarily, but it can also prevent you from having learnings when and where you need them.
The best way to have a learning is to have it only when you need it. You see, if you constantly thought of your phone number all day long every day, you'd go crazy. If you can think of it whenever you want to, except when you are near a telephone, it doesn't work for you. If you try to understand why that's the case, you still won't be able to call home. But if you only think of it when you want to tell it to someone else, or to dial your home, it's a learning that serves you well.
So think of the things you want to take out of the Grand Ballroom
. . and think about the places you want to take them. . , . You don't have to think about what you are going to do with the learnings when you get there…. Just think about the furniture in your living room … the bed that you sleep in at night … that favorite office chair … your secretary … the carpet in the place where you work … the clients you've seen too many times … the business associates that you've always wanted to get … to do anything … that you want them to. Think about friends … and lovers . . , think about times and places … in your future … that are places worthy …of taking these learnings and understandings , . . and having them spontaneously emerge… .
Because while your conscious mind has worked diligently during the past three days … to understand something that isn't about it, but about the rest of each of you … your unconscious mind has been collecting information … in the way that it knows how to … and can't avoid… . And you can allow that information …to settle in your unconscious … and you unconsciously know … how to sort through that information … to make changes in yourself … changes that although you may or may not notice them … can be lasting and pervasive.
Now, some of you have not yet made good enough friends … with your unconscious process … and we want you to realize … that your unconscious is not a person … it's a part of you… . It's not a part of you as a piece is a part… . It's a part of you because it works differently … than your conscious mind. Your unconscious, for one thing, is much more lethargic. … It only does things for a purpose… . And the purpose of sorting through the learnings of the Grand Ballroom … is so that your conscious mind … can be surprised delightfully … when it finds itself doing new things … and not knowing exactly how … and especially not why, it is. … And as long as there is a Grand Ballroom, the learnings of the Grand Ballroom will go with you… .
Goodbye.
Appendix I Eye Accessing Cues
While most people lump all of their internal information processing together and call it "thinking," Bandler and Grinder have noted that it can be very useful to divide thinking into the different sensory modalities in which it occurs. When we process information internally, we can do it visually, auditorily, kinesthetically, olfactorily, or gustatorily. As you read the word "circus," you may know what it means by seeing images of circus rings, elephants, or trapeze artists; by hearing carnival music; by feeling excited; or by smelling and tasting popcorn or cotton candy. It is possible to access the meaning of a word in any one, or any combination, of the five sensory channels.