That was easier said than done when paying attention meant watching as the ape at her side kept touching her, kept bending low to murmur into her ear. The guy was all over her, giving her food, passing her drinks … asking her to dance.
He couldn’t do it. Not without committing murder before all those people. No, he needed to leave. Susan could take over, make sure the rest of the night went smoothly. He was a busy man after all and no one expected him to stay and party. He could sneak out the back and no one…
Juliette tugged away from her companion, said something, and then made a quick escape off the dance floor in the opposite direction. Her strides were hurried, practically a near run as she ducked through the open terrace doors and disappeared into the gardens.
Don’t! His brain warned sharply, but his feet refused to listen.
He hurried after her.
Chapter 34
This was a bad idea. It was such a bad idea. She should never have come. What had she been thinking? Of course Randy would want to dance and enjoy the evening. Of course he would want to touch and act like all the other couples around them. And why wouldn’t he? No, it was done. She couldn’t do this anymore. It wasn’t fair, not to Randy. She had to end it. There was nothing else for it.
“Juliette!”
As though conjured from the very depths of her turmoil, Randy jogged after her. His blond hair caught the light from the row of lamps flagging the cobblestone path and shone like a beckon in the cool evening. His cheeks were pink from the chase and his blue eyes were bright with worry that only made her feel worse.
“What’s wrong?”
Juliette exhaled, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow her. “I’m so sorry, Randy. I’m an awful person.”
He slowed two feet from her and stopped. “What are you talking about? You’re not awful.”
She nodded. “I am and I can’t … I can’t do this to you anymore. I tried so hard to be the kind of person you deserve and I can’t. I will never be that person because I can’t make myself want you the way I know I should and I tried, I really, really tried so hard to do this, but I can’t…”
“Whoa, slow down.” He offered her a small, weak chuckle. “What are you talking about?”
“I love someone else.” She squeezed her eyes shut tight. “It makes me the biggest fool on the planet, because he doesn’t love me back, but I can’t keep seeing you when…”
“When you love someone else,” he finished for her softly.
Her eyes opened and she peered at him through a layer of tears. “I’m so sorry.”
Randy shook his head. “No, I get it. I figured it was something like that, but I thought that if I tried…”
Her heart tore all over again. “I’m sorry,” she croaked for the hundredth time. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“No, it’s not your fault.” He offered her a half grin. “We can’t help who we love. It wasn’t like I expected you to fall hopelessly in love with me in two weeks. Doesn’t work that way.”
It had taken less time for her to fall for Killian, but Randy didn’t need to know that.
“Randy—”
“Please don’t say you’re sorry again,” he teased with a chuckle. “It’s okay. It was fun, right?”
She nodded, because she didn’t know what else to do.
“Okay then.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Can I at least drive you back home?”
She shook her head. The last thing she wanted was a painfully awkward drive back.
“I’ll find my own way. Thank you.”
With a slow nod, he took a step back. “So, I’ll see you around, right?”
“Yeah.”
He turned on his heels and started back the way he’d come. Halfway, he stopped and glanced back.
“For the record, you’re not the fool. He is.”
Then he was gone and she was completely alone in the second most beautiful garden she’d ever been in and all she wanted to do was cry. Instead, she tugged her phone out of her clutch and dialed home. Vi answered on the third ring.
“You can’t already be bored.”
“I told him,” she blurted. “I told him and he left.”
“Whoa, what?”
“Randy.” Breathing hard, Juliette paced further along the path. “I told him about Killian.”
“You told him about Killian?” Vi’s exclamation nearly pierced her eardrums. “Are you crazy? Why would you do that?”
“Because he asked me to dance and I said yes and we were on the floor and he was holding me and all I could think about was the time I danced with Killian and how I’m wearing the dress he’d given me and—”
“Juliette, breathe!”
But it was beyond that, she was passing mildly hysterical straight into the place of no return.
“And I realized that was how it was always going to be. He’ll ask me something and I’ll say yes because I really don’t want to be alone and I’ll wind up married to him and have a million babies and I’ll keep living every day comparing him to Killian and he’ll fail. He will always fail because I love Killian and I will never love Randy and—”
The phone disappeared out of her hand before she could finish her meltdown. The absence of it had her spinning on her heels and coming face to face with the very last man she ever expected to see again. Her heart skyrocketed even as her stomach dropped.
“Killian?”
Dark eyes locked with hers, sharp and penetrating as he lifted her phone to his ear. She could vaguely hear Vi calling her name on the other end.
“She’ll call you back.”
There was a split second pause from her sister, then, “Killian?”
Without responding, he hung up and stuffed Juliette’s phone into his pocket. She followed the hand with her eyes, struck dumb, except to point and mutter, “You hung up on her,” stupidly.
“She’ll understand.”
Unspoken thoughts scattered over in all directions, a spilled basket of thread unwinding and unraveling and tangling across the floor. She knew she needed to say something, but she wasn’t entirely certain she was awake or if he was just another figment of her imagination.
Bathed in the soft glow from lights around them, he seemed so surreal, like so many of her dreams. Shadows molded around him as comfortably as his dark suit. His face hung somewhere in between the light and darkness, but the contemplation blazed bright in the unwavering contours of his eyes.
“What are you doing here?” she blurted at last, when it became apparent that he wasn’t a dream.
“It’s my charity event,” he answered evenly.
He didn’t seem at all surprised to see her there, which made her wonder…
“Did you send Randy the tickets?”
He shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t.”
Of course not. Why would he? He didn’t want to see her again so why would he invite her and her boyfriend? The realization sank into her chest like claws burrowing through flesh and bone to close around her heart.
“I was about to leave,” she said, already skirting around him. “Have a nice evening.”
“You look beautiful.”
His quiet compliment stilled her retreat. Her gaze lifted to his and found his closed of all emotion.
“Thank you.” Her hand tumbled unsteadily down the front of her dress. “I didn’t want it to go to waste and the invitation said formal.”
“I didn’t mean the dress.”
Her lungs hitched, driving the fluttering in her stomach crazy. “I should go. Can I have my phone back please?”
Rather than comply, he closed what little space there was between them. The two steps she would have taken were devoured by only one of his and he was suddenly there, in front of her, tall and impossibly beautiful stealing her oxygen.