“They were doing their job!” she cried, her eyes glistening with tears of anger. “It was my fault.”
“Five men in a secured house and they couldn’t keep an eye on you.” His voice vibrated with a sort of rage that scared even him. “How can I trust that they can keep you safe when you’re out? How can I trust that they will be efficient enough not to lose you in a crowded mall? Your safety was put into question and I won’t have that, not when the thought of something happening to you is the only thing that can break me. You’re my weakness, Juliette. You’re my Achilles’ heel, the key to bringing me down and I can’t lose you.”
She said nothing for so long, he wondered if she’d frozen in place. She studied him with those doe brown eyes filled with tears and something he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted a name for. Finally, she pulled herself up. She dragged her coat together over her clothes and hugged her middle as though a chill had passed through the room.
“If that’s your way of getting me to stop being angry, then it’s very underhanded.”
“No, love.” He moved around the desk until he was directly in front of her. “That’s me trying to keep you safe. Jake and Melton have their orders and you…” He took her warm face between his palms. “Are to follow them, do you hear me? If you ever pull anything as foolish and reckless as that again, I will put you over my knee and I promise you won’t walk straight for a week.”
Anger flashed across her eyes. “I was worried about you. No one was telling me if you were all right. What was I supposed to do?”
“Not climb fifteen feet down a tree!” he retorted, feeling his own anger climbing. “Never mind that you could have arrived here in the middle of what happened and gotten killed or captured, but what if you’d fallen and broken your fool neck? What then? I have half a mind to fire the whole group and—”
“No!” Her hands flew to the front of his shirt and fisted. “No! Please, please don’t do that.”
“Then I trust that we have an agreement? You will not dodge your security group again, right?”
“I won’t,” she said a bit too quickly. “I promise.”
Killian narrowed his eyes. “While I love this complying side of you, I can’t help feeling you have an ulterior motive for it.”
She swallowed audibly. “Vi’s grown very fond of Phil,” she blurted quickly. “He seems to be very good for her. She’s a completely different person, a good person since he’s been with her.”
“Juliette!” With a frustrated growl, he rubbed a palm over his face. “He’s a bodyguard, not a … a shrink!”
“I know, but please, you don’t understand.” She bore imploringly up at him. “We’ve been talking, Killian. Actually talking. That has never happened. She’s always been so angry and I … I never cared. Not once. Our entire lives I’ve considered her a burden, a pain in the ass that I had to deal with, that I never stopped to even try and understand her. But he did. He listened to her and did all the things I should have. I know it’s selfish and pathetic, but if you take him away, I know she’ll never forgive me.”
“Jesus Christ!”
He moved away from her and went to stand at the window overlooking what had been his mother’s garden. It was a wasteland of dirt and lonely structures.
“Killian, please,” Juliette whispered. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
Tempting. Oh, so tempting. The number of things he wanted from her rolled around in his mind the way a toy catalogue would for a child just before Christmas.
“Come to the club with me tonight,” he said instead, glancing back over his shoulder. “I have work and we can finish this discussion there.”
Juliette seemed to consider this a moment before asking with a hint of wariness that almost amused him, “Does this mean Phil can stay?”
Killian turned back to the window. “For now.”
Nodding reluctantly, she took a step back. “I’ll run home and change then. I can meet you—”
“No need.” He twisted around to face her fully. “I’ll come with you.”
Chapter 16
Before her parents had died and their house had been homey and furnished with nice things, Juliette had never had qualms about inviting people over; her mother had made the place like something out of a fancy catalogue. After having to sell the really nice stuff and replace some of it with ratty, used items, it looked more like a rundown crack house. At least in Juliette’s opinion. Most of the rooms were bare and layered in dust while the rest held furniture no one ever wanted to sit on. It was a far cry from the extravagance of Killian’s manor. Yet she could find no way to discourage him from crossing into her dark, dank world without coming off as insane, or worse, embarrassed, which she was. To herself, she could fully admit that she was devastatingly ashamed of her home, the place she’d grown up in, the place she’d fought like hell to keep.
Neither of them spoke as they hurtled through the city in the backseat of the black SUV with Melton and Frank sitting like mute statues in the front. Occasionally, she’d see Melton’s arm turn as he twisted the wheel, but he was rigid otherwise. Jake had squished himself into the seat on Juliette’s other side, forcing her between him and Killian. The latter she didn’t mind so much, but her new companions were a different story. Neither had said a word to her since appearing on her doorstep to replace John and Tyson. They’d introduced themselves and told her they would be taking over, but that was all.
She missed John and Tyson. They hadn’t been friendly or chatty, but she had grown fond of them in the three months they’d been together.
A sigh escaped her and she turned her head to stare out the window. The world was a muted blur behind the tint. Shops glinted and people roamed the sidewalks even as night packed around them. The sun had gone down several hours earlier, making the time appear much later than it was. Overhead, a thick overcast curdled across the heavens, threatening snow. Juliette inwardly cringed.
“There is an event I would like you to attend with me.” Killian’s voice drew her away from the depression weaving its way around her. “It’s a Christmas party of sorts.”
Juliette’s eyebrows swung up. “Christmas party in November?” She considered it a moment. “I suppose that makes sense. Most of the days in December would be taken.”
“No, the party isn’t until the second week of December, but I know how you are with surprises and parties if you’re not given proper notice.”
She grimaced. “I still owe you for that, don’t I?”
He made a quiet humming sound. “You can make it to me by wearing your new dress to this event.”
“All right. You’ll have to give me the date and time.”
They pulled up in the driveway of her home. Unlike the others around it, hers sat dark and foreboding. A few of her neighbors had already hung their Christmas lights or at the very most, had their porch lit. The blinds were drawn over all her windows and no one had bothered with the porch light. Already the place made her cringe. Her stomach muscles tightened in dread as Jake held open her door. She managed a weak thank you as she slid out and made her way up the cracked walkway. Behind her, she was painfully aware of Killian’s quiet presence.
They climbed up the steps together, but made it as far as the front door when it was jerked open by Laurence. He bowed his head to Killian before stepping aside to let them in.
The dining room with the sleeping cots sat in absolute darkness. On the other side of the foyer, the living room was lit solely by a single lamp that illuminated the lumpy sofa and faded wallpaper. Down the hall, the kitchen glowed the brightest. She went there.
“You’ve got to work it with your knuckles,” Mrs. Tompkins was saying when Juliette stepped onto the threshold. “Really get in there.”