Jack was silent.
“The diary… You were looking for the diary—”
“Goodbye, Leonard—”
“I want to come in and question him! You can arrange that!”
“Leonard, this is a murder investigation, I don’t have time to help you conduct research for your God damn book!”
Jack slammed down the phone. The image of Rebecca from Carmen’s painting kept surfacing in his thoughts. Must remain rational. Coincidence. Mere coincidence.
Harrington opened the door and entered. Jack hadn’t heard the knob click, was he outside the whole time, listening?
“Jack, you never gave up. Everyone knows that. Carl Rosa knows that. You’re a good man.”
“Not good enough.” Jack stood up and reached for his jacket. He looked out the window and caught a glimpse of Carl walking towards his car, his head down, reporters smothering him, shoving microphones under his chin in desperation to squeeze a sound bite of grief out of him for the 6 o’clock news.
“Don’t beat yourself up, Jack. It’s not worth it.”
“Worth it? I’d rather work 25 hours a day than face those few seconds right before you give someone news that’s going to destroy the rest of their lives.”
“That’s our job.”
“No. Our job is to try and prevent those moments from ever happening.”
Harrington conceded, never intending to have a long conversation, already wearing his coat.
“Well, I gotta go, gotta explain to the wife why there was 1,300 dollars stuffed in my sock drawer. One of my kids told her I won it on the Denver game. Believe that? These kids and their crazy imaginations.”
Harrington exited. Jack looked down at the cassette player.
“Yeah…”
Jack reached down and placed his finger on the eject button. He tapped it and Rebecca’s tape spit out. He held it up for a few seconds, frowned, then tossed it across his desk, scattering a few papers. One of them, the invitation his brother had left, fluttered to the floor by his feet.
He reached down to pick it up. He slid his finger under the lip of the envelope and opened it.
CHAPTER 54
Laura turned down Hastings Boulevard and noticed how much things had changed since she last traveled these parts as a teenager over a decade ago. It was much dirtier now, several stores she used to frequent had been shuttered. The corner drug store where she once stole cigarettes was still open.
“Where are we going?” Rebecca asked from the back seat.
“To see an old friend.” Laura had decided to just put it all out on the table for Rebecca. Whatever the consequences. She knew this was all inevitable. It was time.
Laura exchanged glances between Rebecca and the road, watching her expression for any changes, looks of recognition, any reaction at all. But Rebecca just sat quietly.
She turned down Woods Avenue, Hester’s apartment complex came into view. It was all coming back to her now. Carmen had always seemed embarrassed by her family, especially her mother. Hester was very religious and often said or did things to make it seem like Carmen was being raised in the middle ages. She came across as a fanatic to the uninitiated. But Laura never thought anything less of her, or considered her weird. Compared to her own upbringing, most other families seemed normal.
As she pulled up to the curb, she gazed at the iron railing along the steps that led to a small balcony by the apartment entrance. On days with nothing to do, she and Carmen had stood up there and watched the traffic go by.
On one occasion, a blue and white-striped butterfly with an enormous wingspan fluttered past them and landed on Laura’s shoulder. Laura remembered screaming with excitement. The noise brought Carmen’s mother, Hester, to the front door to see what all the fuss was about. Carmen reached out to touch the butterfly and Hester yelled at her to leave it alone. She remembered Hester saying if a butterfly lands on your shoulder, it means that you have a good aura and a kind spirit. And that other spirits would want to remain close to you, love you. How’s that working out, Laura?
Carmen commented on how beautiful the butterfly was. Hester then asked Carmen if she had thanked God for showing her such beauty. She then made Carmen say it out loud. “Thank you Lord, for revealing to me your beauty in the world.” Carmen was so embarrassed, she didn’t speak the rest of the afternoon. That was the only really odd moment that stood out in Laura’s mind.
Laura put the car in park and walked around to let Rebecca out. Rebecca didn’t act unusual, she didn’t show any emotion at all. Laura was surprised. Blank wasn’t the reaction she was expecting.
She took Rebecca’s hand and walked her towards the building. As they got closer, Laura noticed Rebecca was squeezing her hand.
Laura climbed the steps, but Rebecca hung back, frozen.
“Come on,” Laura insisted. Rebecca slowly shook her head.
“I’m going in without you then,” Laura said, insincerely. Laura released her hand and climbed the steps.
She knocked and waited. Francisco opened the door, wearing his military uniform. He pushed open the screen door. “Yes?”
Laura looked him up and down, recognizing him. “Francisco?”
“…Yes?”
“You don’t remember me.”
He stared blankly. “I’m sorry, should I?”
Laura grinned. “Laura Lowell. I was a friend of your sister, Carmen.” Francisco tried to retrieve the data from his memory banks. All he could do was smile back and repeat her name vacantly.
“Laura Lowell… Laura Lowell…”
“¿Quién es, Francis?” Hester asked from inside. She gently pushed past him, revealing herself at the door. She looked exactly the same as Laura remembered, only heavier.
“Yes?” Hester said, but instantly there was a recognition in her eyes.
“I don’t know if you remember me?” Laura said. Hester’s smile got broader. “I’m Laura? I was a friend of Carmen’s.”
Hester reached out and took Laura’s hands. “Laura, yes.”
“It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, it has.”
Laura stepped aside, revealing Rebecca, still cowering at the bottom of the steps.
“Your daughter?”
“Yes, her name’s Rebecca.” Laura turned to Rebecca. “Come on, sweetie.” Rebecca put a hand on the railing and took a slow step. Then another, like a child afraid of being punished.
“Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” Hester said.
“It’s okay, Rebecca,” Laura said. Rebecca took a few more steps. Hester bent over to her. “Oh, so pretty. Come in, come in.” Hester backed up, letting them both enter. As Rebecca passed, she looked up at Hester with dread.
They entered the kitchen. On the table were multiple arrangements of flowers, sent from friends and family members. One large bouquet had a framed picture of Carmen in the middle.
Francisco stepped back towards the corner of the room. Laura turned to him. “The last time I saw you, you were this high,” she said, holding her hand just above her waist.
“My big man now,” Hester said, “he take two week leave when we get the news about Carmen. Today is his last day, he report back tomorrow.” There was a packed rucksack near the front door, a camouflage jacket draped over it, ready to go.
Rebecca looked around the room, pausing at every distinctive item — a framed painting of Jesus on the wall, a man’s hat hung on a hook, an old worn out dog’s bowl on the floor. Each elicited a unique reaction on her face.