“You be geshtoppen vere you izt, hooman. Dropen you veapon now!”
“Huh-uh. You be dropen yours,” Finn said, lashing out with a jab that snipped a button off the fellow's vest.
The Bowser didn't care for that at all. The button was imitation pearl, and difficult to find. He muttered an oath in the harsh, irritating tongue of his kind, slipping Finn's blade aside, going for the gut.
Finn stepped deftly to the right, his left foot squashing something vile. Then, instead of pressing his adversary, the Bowser backed off, assuming a formal stance, designed for defense, rather than attack.
Finn didn't stop to ask why. Feinting to the left, he whipped his blade high and came in swiftly from the right.
Too late, he saw his mistake. He'd paid no attention to his enemy's torch, intent on the dangerous blade. Now, the Bowser ducked low, and with his left hand thrust the burning brand in Finn's face.
Finn cried out as the heat scorched his brow. He heard his hair sizzle, felt his lashes curl.
This time, the Bowser followed through, leaping in fast, flailing away with wicked strokes while Finn was still blinking from the light. He fought back blindly, shouting at the top of his lungs, fought with such anger at his own near-fatal blunder, that the Bowser was startled, stunned by such a sudden, mad assault.
Finn cut him once across the chest, ripping the checkered vest. Cut him once more below the throat, a move that unraveled the red bow tie, and brought a gasp from his foe.
The Bowser raised a hand to his neck and stared at Finn. A gold-rimmed monocle dropped from his eye and onto the sodden ground. Finn had ever thought the monocle an odd conceit among these folk, for it didn't seem likely all their people had defects in one eye.
Once more, the Bowser leaped forward, whipping his weapon about. Finn moved in a blur, turned his blade around and struck the creature across his pointy nose with the heavy, weighted hilt.
The Bowser sagged and went down atop his companion, still moaning on the ground. Finn took a breath, and had little time for that. The third of his foes, with a comrade at his back, was yipping for his blood, scraping through the narrow alleyway. Finn was grateful the passage was a very tight squeeze. Grateful, too, that both the Bowsers wanted through at once.
And where, pray, was his large companion all this time? Had the Bullie found a jug of ale and settled down for the night?
“Prinz, here! Ze hooman's kilt dem both! Getz in an’ zhoot ‘im now!”
The Bowser in the rear crowded his companion aside, raised his enormous weapon and aimed it at Finn's head.
Finn backed off, came up against a sodden wall with nowhere to go. The immense, flared barrel of the musket looked a quarter mile wide. There was little metal showing, as most of the aged device was covered in rust and soot.
“If that is a Heinz-Erlichnok. 47 as I suspect,” Finn said, “I'd take a care if I were you. The trigger tends to stick on that model, especially in weather like this. If that lock you're using comes from the Sandow Works, which I believe it does, the weapon will likely freeze after two or three shots. From the noise you fellows made, I expect you're past that. If it truly fires, I'll wager it takes your head off instead of mine.”
“Vhat?” Prinz, for that was the short, chunky Bowser's name, looked curiously at Finn, then back at his weapon again.
“You zhink he bein’ a vizeass, Phydo? Nuttin’ zeems wrong to me.”
“Zhoot ‘im, don’ talk vit ‘im, phool!” Phydo bared his teeth, snatched the weapon from his friend, blew a cloud of soot from the lock, and aimed the thing at Finn.
“Hold it,” Finn said, his belly clenching up in a knot. “You look like reasonable fellows, let's talk about this.”
“Lezz nhot. Be shtillen, hooman. Don’ be jerkin’ round- whuuuuk!”
As if by sorcery, a strange, unnatural act of some kind, both of the Bowsers rose up off the ground and into the darkness above. They flailed, kicked, quivered and thrashed about. The musket went off and lit up the night.
In its sudden glare, Finn saw Bucerius on the roof overhead. His legs, stout as young trees, were spread wide. With scarcely any effort at all, he hauled the two Bowsers up into the night, bits of strong line looped about their necks. He dangled them there for an instant, watching them kick hopelessly about, then dropped his lines, and let the pair sink limply to the ground.
The Bullie jumped lightly to the alley floor, caught Finn's expression, and turned up his mouth as if something tasted bad.
“They isn't dead, though it wouldn't trouble me none if they was… “
Finn could scarcely fault the Bullie for his thoughts. Bucerius hadn't forgotten the merchant he'd found in the downed balloon, and those who'd likely perished in the flames they'd seen some blocks away.
“There might be others out there. We'd best have a care.”
“Isn't no one bein’ out there now,” Bucerius said, peering at Finn through the dark. “I haven't been takin’ no nap, in case you didn't know…”
SEVENTEEN
Through the alley and out in the open street again, Finn saw a Bowser sprawled on his back. And, farther down the block toward the square, they passed two more, moaning and holding their heads. Finn understood why the Bullie had been delayed. He'd had things to do.
Finn scraped dirt, soot and something soggy off the sacking wrapped tightly about his clock. Cleaned his trousers and his cape as best he could.
“Still got the pretty, do you? You be hangin’ on to that thing. Don't be leavin’ it lying in a alley somewhere.”
“Do you think I would indeed?” Finn answered, not a little annoyed by the Bullie's lofty attitude. “You think I embarked on this voyage, floating about in a deathtrap with a-with a giant that farts like a typhoon, you think I came here to fight a herd of yapping maniacs? No, Bucerius, don't tell me how to hang on to my goods. It is a coarse, vulgar, common piece of crap, but I can handle it very well.”
“Thought you be makin’ the thing.”
“I did. So what?”
“So why you makin’ crap? You no good or what?”
Finn stopped in the darkness and peered up at the Bullie.
“I am good. I invented lizards in my head. No one else in the world even thought of that but me. I am the finest craftsman you'll ever meet. No, in all modesty, I am more than that. I'm an artist, friend. I'm the best.
“And that's why I made this ugly, base, despicable clock. Because, if you live in a land that is governed by a tasteless Prince, you had best make a tasteless, golden lizard with a clock in its belly, if that's what he desires. If you do not, there is little chance you will be around to create finer things, things that people can use, things that people will admire because of their beauty and craftsmanship.
“You think Aghen Aghenfleck is a greedy, worthless lout and so do I. Yet, you work for him as well. Now why do we suppose you do that?”
Bucerius, in spite of himself, seemed taken aback.
“He be what you sayin’, all right. But he also be sittin’ in a castle, not me.”
“Exactly. I have never understood how such a thing happens, but it seems to be the same, everywhere one goes. There is always someone at the top of the heap, and, more often than not, they scarcely have the sense of the most witless fellow in town. Yet, we let them stay there, and tell us what to do.”
“That's the way it always been,” Bucerius said. “I figure that's how the world's suppose’ to be.”
“I can't believe we're all as ignorant as that. There must be something missing here. Something we simply fail to see… “
There was no more time for idle thought. A howl and a clatter arose from down the street. Finn and Bucerius stepped into a shadowed entryway. The swinging sign above the door read GREENS.
“Snouter runs the place,” Bucerius said. “I know him. This is farm country ‘round here. You be seeing a lot of grocers in Heldessia Town.”