“I'm sure you're right. Unfortunately, it's too late to- Rocks and Socks, what's that?”
A terrible sound shook the hall, a squeal, a din, a flat and nasal blare, as if a flock of geese had some disorder of the bill.
A horde of courtiers, chattering, tittering, bobbing about, suddenly filled the Great Hall, a gaudy circus of crimson tones. And, as Finn noticed, one poor fellow in green, clearly blind to the color red.
The clamor, the blast, the most unmusical sounds, came from a dozen young boys in lurid salmon hues. They blew on enormous horns of brass until they were flushed, and someone made them stop.
“Even I cannot make more horrid sounds than that,” Julia said.
“No, but on occasion you have tried.”
The crowd began to cheer. Some waved and hopped about. Some tossed their hats in the air, and some kicked off their shoes. Finn was next to certain no one knew what they were cheering about. If the King cheered or booed, or cut off his ear, then they would do it too.
“Finn, would you tell me what's happening, please? It's awfully noisy, and I don't like it here.”
Finn didn't like it either. It came on a golden cart with wobbly wheels. Whatever it was, it was hidden by a colorful kingly drape. The item, the thing, the burden on the cart, poked itself up in sharp, pointy little peaks. It could be a pot of eels, it could be a rocking chair. The King had a fine sense of humor, and it could indeed be a Badgie with an axe.
Whatever it was, it came with jolly trumpeters, who couldn't find the key, plus a herd, a covey, a flight of happy nobles, peers, and those about the palace with nothing else to do.
“Here, now, gather round, all,” shouted King Llowen-keef-Grymm. “This is something special, and I wish to share it with my nobles, and even those of you who are nothing at all.”
More cheers, more huzzahs. Courtiers far from the center of things escaped to find a mug of ale.
“I want you to move in closer, Master Finn, and you too, Miss. Right in front, if you please.”
“Yes, thank you, sire,” Finn said, and, in a quick aside to Letitia Louise, “whatever happens, stay close to me. I still have Koodigern's dagger, and I'll take as many with us as I can.”
“Finn, it's just some churchy thing, I'm sure. I don't see why they'd harm us.”
“You've much to learn about the treachery of kings, my dear, but I've no time to tell you now.”
And though he had no wish to alarm Letitia, Finn could see that a company of Badgies had slipped in behind them with no sound at all.
“I can take out eight or nine,” Julia said, “possibly ten.”
“Don't. Not unless I do, you hear?”
“Striking first is the basic rule of strategy, set down by Hephades the Sly.”
“Staying alive is the basic rule of Finn the coward. Shut it down, Julia, now.”
“What's this all about?” Letitia wanted to know.
“Julia. I need to get her in the shop.”
“Oh. What for?”
“Master Finn, up here, if you please.”
The King reached out and entangled Finn in a clutter of grim, funereal gear, sooty snips of this and that.
“We have here,” the King announced, “one Finn of Fyxedia, craftsman of lizards, a device he thought up by himself.
“With him is one of the very lizards he's produced, along with Miss Letitia Louise, a Mycer girl in his service, and, in my eye, as attractive as any human girl you'll find around here.”
What is this royal rascal up to? What does he think he's going to do?
“… now, as a treat to all my subjects, a treat which few of you deserve, for you never do anything for me, I would show you something you have never seen before. And, I daresay, will never see anything like it again. Thus, with a touch of my royal hand… “
The King pulled a cord, the drape slipped away and the thing was revealed.
The crowd was wary of whatever was to be. They muttered, mumbled, chattered in a voice of indecision, whispered in clear uncertain terms, waited on the edge, waited with no idea what the King would have them do.
Finn's heart nearly stopped. The clock. That damnable, tasteless lizard with a clock in its belly, was mounted on the golden cart, for all the court to see…
THIRTY-FIVE
The truth of this scam, this trickery of the King, struck Finn like a blow, near took his breath away. Here was the clever monarch's cunning, his sly and hateful deceit. Here was the reason Llowenkeef-Grymm had stopped him, moments before he was free of the place for good.
The King had not tossed his present aside, as Finn had prayed he'd do. This mad collector of clocks had torn into the bundle and found the ugly item inside. And, in a fit of fury, in a moment of rage, he had planned this moment of dread disclosure for the man who had dared bring this artless, base, vulgar piece of rubbish into his land…
“We're in for it now,” Julia said. “I would like to say, our acquaintance has been a partial delight.”
“He's not going to kill us. He just wants to flog us a bit. Just keep your snout shut, I'll handle this.”
“Master Finn…”The King looked at him with a grave, thoughtful look in his noble eyes.
“You have said this gift comes to me from Aghen Aghenfleck the Fourth?”
“Sire… “
“And, though you've not said it, I'd guess you made this artifact yourself?”
“I did, Your Grace. And if I might say a word here…”
“No, you may not! It is bad manners, Finn, and blasphemy second class, to interrupt me.”
“Yes, sire.”
“Come here. Do it now.”
“Oh, Finn,” Letitia said beneath her breath.
Finn stood straight, though he feared his legs might collapse.
“In all fairness, Finn, you should know I have taken into consideration the fact that your, ah-Prince, ordered you to craft this piece.”
“I appreciate that, sir.”
“It is magnificent, Finn.”
“I regret, sire, that-what?”
“A masterpiece, a thing of wonder, glorious in its artifice and design. I have seen clocks without number, clocks from the immortal crafters of the East, clocks from the tiny folk who are said to live beneath the sea, and have fins instead of knees. Frankly, I have my doubts about that.
“At any rate, none of these, Finn, are worthy of an artist such as you.”
“He likes this piece of crap?”
“Hush, Julia,” Letitia whispered. “The man's a connoisseur.”
“I would deem it a favor to a grateful king, if you would show me how it works.”
“Now, sire?”
“What did I say, boy? Now, indeed.”
The King clapped his hands in pleasure, a signal to the watchful crowd that they should openly admire, with speech and gesture, this man who pleased the King.
“It's really quite simple, sire.”
Finn moved to the golden cart, a bold new note of confidence in his voice.
“The timepiece itself is embedded in the belly of the lizard. Rampant, as it were, upon its hind legs, its forelegs raised in what I like to call a, ah-whimsical salute.”
“Whimsical, yes. The very word, I feel.”
“The tail, which is gilded with golden scales, serves as the pendulum of the clock. I release this small locking device and-so, the tail begins to swing.”
“I am beside myself, Finn. I never expected as much. Who would have dreamed of having the tail itself swing?”
“He did,” Julia muttered to herself, “not me.”
“Now, sire, there is another function here. I release another switch… “
The King gave such a shrill cry of delight, Finn feared he might have shed his mortal form.
“The eyes-the eyes move back and forth as well!”
“It's a small thing, sire.”
“Small? Genius, I should say, for it has never been done before in the history of clocks.”
He turned to Finn, and Finn was near certain there were tears in the fellow's eyes.