“No, relax, Harley. It’s just I don’t know how many guys your age would tell a girl her breast was showing. They usually just soak it up until she realizes. Even old saggy ones.”
“Ma’am, if I may…you have beautiful ti- breasts.”
“That‘s ten bucks I owe you, now.”
He smiled shyly, then sipped his coffee for a moment in silence. Then he coughed and opened up.
“I’ve been with a couple girls. I’m no virgin.”
“And did you like it?”
“Yeah, I liked it.” He shrugged something invisible away. “They were just girls. I mean, like, they were pretty and nice. The first one, I knew her since I was six, and she was sweet. But she was so small and soft.”
“That’s kinda what most guys like.”
“They do?”
I reached over, put my hand on the back of his neck, like we were a conspiracy of two. “You don’t like to talk, do you, Harley?”
“I’m talking now.”
“I mean about stuff that matters. I’m guessing maybe you’ve read a lot, like the letters in men’s mags?”
“Yeah.”
“And articles about what women want and how to give it to them?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And you don’t quite get it?”
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He bit his lip, maybe so he wouldn’t answer.
I put my hand on his cheek, just lightly. “Y’know…you boys have a right to a satisfying sex life, too. That’s not just sticking it into whatever pussy’s available.”
I felt him jump a little when I said ‘pussy’, like he was shocked I’d use such a word. I leaned in a little closer and played my trump card.
“And it’s not always about pussy.”
His head jerked out of my hand and he stared straight into my eyes. “What?
How did you…?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
“Who?”
“It’s all right, Harley.”
He seemed to shrink a little, as if he was clenching up all over. “I…I didn’t mean to. It’s just…well, you’ve seen him.“
“Yes, honey. I have.”
“I meant what I said before. I like girls. But Ben’s just, like, somethin’ else. In the regular army they talk about ‘best of the best’. To me, that’s Ben.”
I sighed. “You have very good taste, honey.” I felt sure that most of the action in their unit revolved around Ben. He was future officer material, but more than that, he was the kind of guy everyone wanted to be, or be around.
“I’ve never shared a room just him and me before. I could barely sleep with him there. He’s why I was…y’know…before.”
My ego suddenly felt as saggy as my boobs.
We both looked to the hallway as we heard the toilet flush.
Harley jumped to his feet, scared that Ben might have heard us.
“I’m…uh…gonna get a shower in.”
As they passed in the hallway, Ben punched the smaller boy on the arm. “Hey, Softly.” He turned his attention to me and unsheathed his amazing smile again. “Hey, Nicole. Fuck, that still sounds weird to me.”
He was dressed in just a pair of jeans, the tautness of his upper body a testament to his discipline and training.
“That’s new.” I pointed to his chest, at the spot he’d rubbed at last night, a peace sign tattooed on his left pec. “You think it works, you being in the army and all?”
“Reserves. And I’m in supplies. Thinking about transferring to catering, though…in your honour.”
“Yeah? What’s your specialty dish?”
“Duck…and cover.”
“Idiot. Seriously, though…a tatt?”
He glanced down, trailed his fingers across it like it was a rabbit’s foot, or a crystal ball.
“I got it for mom.”
I smiled, though I almost felt like crying. Gina, Ben’s mom, had been like a sister to me, at least while I was part of the family. She never said as much, but I got a strong feeling that she didn’t like Kurt. She always was a smart woman.
I snapped out of my reverie when I realized Ben had asked me something.
“Huh?”
“I said who do I have to fuck to get a coffee around here?”
“You know where everything is, so I guess you can go fuck yourself.”
He made out he was going to give me a backhanded slap. “Why you…I oughta…”
I threw my hands up, arching my fingers like I’d just applied nail polish. “No, no, big boy…not the face!”
“Then where?”
I bit my lip and smiled in lieu of an answer. Every answer I had was just plain wrong.
Judging by the smile that adorned Ben’s face, he was thinking along the same lines. He made for the coffee-maker, with only a small detour to knock me backwards with his meaty shoulder.
“Hey, sorry, lady. Didn’t see you there.”
As he reached up for the coffee jar I slipped my fingers into his armpits from behind. He froze instantly.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, you know I would.”
“Uh…but I’ll drop the coffee.”
“Then put it down.”
He moved slowly, placing the jar on the bench top. I could see even from behind that he was smiling. Thinking I was in control, I relaxed too soon.
With his arms already down, he clenched his muscles, trapping my fingers. I tried to wriggle them, but he was far too strong. He pushed against the bench, his bulk forcing me back. Then, in what looked to me like one movement, he dropped into a 316
crouch to pull my hands loose, spun around and stood, swooping me up into his arms like I was a kitten, or a little girl. I think I even squealed.
Ben’s smile dimmed almost to nothing. His mouth was tight and hard, like the rest of his body, and his breath washed down over my lips. He looked angry, but I’d known him since before puberty hit, since before testosterone started telling him to hide this expression from the world.
Fear.
Before I even thought about it, I slipped my mouth onto his and savored the smoothness of his lips. His voice guttered like water in a frypan and he squeezed me so tightly I felt like I’d break.
His tongue found mine as my hand curled up into his hair, but I knew it had to stop. God, Harley had just bared his soul to me and suddenly it’s my lips locked with Ben’s? The man who used to be my nephew. What the hell is wrong with me?
I pulled away and shook my head. He loosed me from his grip and let me slide to the floor. We separated, stood tensely, breathing heavily, in opposite corners of the kitchen, like boxers between rounds.
I spoke first.
“Oh, god, I’m sorry, Ben. That was…” Heaven. That’s what that was. “That was so wrong of me, on so many levels.”
He just chuckled. “Y’know, I’ve dreamed about doing that since I was, I don’t know…12?”
“Well, it‘s done now, you don’t need to waste any more time on it.” I didn’t mean to sound snippy, but I had two layers of guilt riding my ass.
“You know…my dreams always went further than-”
“I think Harley’s out of the shower now. Why don’t you go…take care of yourself?”
“Maybe I will.” His smile tore a new hole in my belly. He held my gaze for a moment, then turned and stalked across the living room, unfastening his jeans as he went. I squeezed my thighs together as I watched his butt.
Harley emerged from the hallway, freshly washed and in a light robe, and Ben took the opportunity to punch him in the arm again.
“Hey, mofo.”
Harley took the punch and rolled his eyes. “Turd.” It was the first time I’d heard him answer Ben back.
I smiled even as I scolded them. “You two…cut that out.”
Harley looked over to me. “He started it.”
“But I’ll finish it.”
Ben sauntered behind the bathroom door, apparently not worried that he’d left it open. When he crossed to the shower his smooth butt shone out like two hard-boiled eggs. I noticed that Harley was watching as closely as I was.
When Ben slipped into the shower it was like a spell was broken, and Harley turned back to see me smiling at him.