"Yeah," she said quietly.
"But no, I didn’t get anything; instead I was humiliated being told something I should have known, by her no less."
"You really don’t like Cin, do you?"
I shook my head. "No, but I get it, she’s your cousin."
"She is."
"Cin's not even the point of this, it’s Cris. We fought earlier that day about him lying to me, now this? What else will I learn? I don't want a relationship where I learn his secrets, fears, likes, everything by other people.
She nodded. "I can understand that."
"So I'm done, finished, no more."
"Uhm, if that’s what you want. Just a small piece of advice?"
"Sure."
"Don’t say never. Something may happen to change your mind; I've learned along the way to never say never. Also don't close the door until you at least hear him out, because if you do, it could be something you regret later on."
She stood up and swiped a Mayan Chocolate Cookie off the counter. "Oh. My. God, these are amazing," she groaned after taking a bite. I watched as she made her way around the kitchen trying out the different things I'd made in the past few hours.
"God, we're going to have to have people come over and help eat all this, or I am going to become the size of a house," she said then popped a shortbread in her mouth and moaned.
"Just not Cris."
"Yeah no Cris, not until you're ready to listen."
I snorted. "So never?"
"What'd I say? Never say never." Then she skipped out of the room.
I sighed, and looked around the kitchen, I had gone a bit overboard with the baking, but it would all be eaten.
Cris
I stormed out of the shop in search of something. I wasn’t sure what until I ended up at the bar. It may not have been my most brilliant idea ever. After I don’t remember how many shots and beers, I was seeing double. So when two Xavier's showed up on the barstool beside me, I was a bit confused.
"So you fucked up," X said.
"That I did."
"Why didn’t you ever tell her?"
I sighed. "I don’t know if I can explain it."
"Well try, because if you ever want to get her back you'll have to explain this shit to her."
"Fine," I grumbled. "So Ash likes to play."
"Okay," he said looking at me confused.
"Like my kind of play."
"Oh, okay got it."
I nodded a little too vigorously nearly knocking myself off the barstool.
"So?" he asked making a continue sign with his hand.
"Oh right, so I've never been in an actual relationship with one of my subs."
"And?"
"I don’t know how to be a boyfriend and a Dom."
"It's different how?"
"Uhm, I can’t show weakness."
He laughed. "Yeah, let that go immediately."
"I can’t, a Dom can’t show weakness to their sub. It…it demeans our ability to take care of the sub."
"Uh huh, if you say so."
"So I tell her, hey I suck because I can’t keep my business afloat so the girl who once upon a time turned down my marriage proposal is digging my ass out of the hole. Yeah, that invokes strength.
"Or maybe Ash is with you for more than your Dom abilities, and you confessing that, though not that way, would bring you closer together in both parts of your relationship?"
"When the fuck did you become Dr. Phil?"
"Eh, there isn’t much to do on a tour bus."
I snickered. "I can see that, you guys sitting around drinking beer and watching Dr. Phil."
"Nah, more Sex with Dr. Drew."
"That makes sense."
"Let's get you home, lush boy," he said clapping me on the shoulder and my head slammed down into the bar. He chuckled, "You're going to hate yourself in the morning.”
“I already hurt,” I slurred, “Ash left me.”
Chapter 9
Ash
“So Devi, why are you hanging out with us? I thought Seth leaves tomorrow for his tour,” Jules asked.
“He was supposed to, but they rescheduled shit.”
“They rescheduled the tour?” I asked gaping.
She giggled. “No, they rescheduled the meetings he had. They’re going to L.A. to meet up with their old label before going on tour, only the meeting was rescheduled. So now he’s here until Monday.”
I looked around the room at the amazing women that were hanging out with me on a Friday night eating baked goods and watching Pitch Perfect all for me.
“So Mags, how’s married life?” Jules asked.
She groaned. “It’d probably be better if he wasn’t injured, but Drake’s been a whiny bitch lately and to top it off, he’s bored, so all he wants to do is have sex.”
“Hey, no sex and Drake in the same sentence!” Devi yelled throwing a pillow at Mags. She looked over at me. “So what now?”
“Hmm?”
“So what now? Are you going to just sit around watch movies, eat cookies until you’re ass expands? Or are you going to for lack of a better term get back on the horse?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.”
“Well tomorrow is Saturday.”
“Uh huh.”
“So you and Jules need to go out, go to a club, get drunk, get laid and have some fun.”
“Hey why am I being volunteered?” Jules yelled.
I looked over and pouted at Jules. Over the past year and a half, Jules and I had become close. I knew she had some stuff going on with her ex, but she just wasn’t willing to share what that was yet.
“Sorry Ash, that’s not what I meant.”
“Well Devi and I can’t go,” grumbled Mags. “Devi’s stuck at home all weekend with Seth. Drake needs me here, and someone has to watch the kids.”
I sighed. “I’m not really in the mood to go clubbing.”
“It’s actually not a bad idea, Ash,” Jules said looking over at me.
I groaned. “Fine, which club?”
“There’s that new one that just opened up, what’s it called?”
“The only new club I’ve heard about is… Oh hell no, you’re not going there.”
“Why not?” Devi fluttered her eyelashes at me.
“Because—” I was interrupted when my cell started going off. I looked at the screen and quickly declined the call.
“Cris again?” Jules asked.
“Yep.”
“You ever going to talk to him?” asked Devi.
“Not sure yet.”
“More reason to go out. Come on, I’ve always wanted to go to a BDSM club,” Jules whined.
“Fine, we can go,” I pointed a finger at Jules, “but you do not leave my side. You don’t go off with anyone at all.”
She nodded.
“So I’ve been wondering how’d you get involved with that stuff?” Mags asked around a brownie.
“Don’t know, was just interested in it so I did some research, eventually went to a club and watched. When I was like nineteen, I did my first scene. I had a good Dom; he was patient with me and helped me through it. Never came so hard in my life, it was amazing. I just knew it was for me.”
“So it’s not something Cris got you to do?” she asked.
“No, I was into it before Cris. We actually found out about each other at a party. We’d actually been dating for a while and it came as a bit of a surprise.”
“Hold on, you’d been dating and neither knew the other was involved in that, yet you were at a party for that?” Mags asked her eyebrow quirked up.
“We weren’t exclusive or anything, but you can do a scene with a Dom or sub without sex being involved.”
“Then what’s the point?” Jules asked.
“The endorphin release, it’s an amazing high. The orgasm after all the endorphins have flooded your system is amazing, I won’t lie, but that doesn’t have to come from your Dom.”