“It’s not like I see her very often. In fact, I haven’t seen her for years.”
It was true. The last time they’d had any contact with her was just before he ventured into Hell to rescue Grace. She wasn’t envious, though. As she listened, Aimi’s mind opened to him like a flower in the sun. The only emotion Sam could perceive was love. Love for him.
“So what is your role, then?” he asked.
“I act as a messenger. Sometimes, I have to pass on messages between the Grigori and Heaven; occasionally between Heaven and Hell but that doesn’t happen very often. I’m also assigned to report on certain events. There’s more — lots more — going on than you can possibly imagine.”
Sam smiled crookedly at her, feeling a little smug. “Oh, I don’t know. I think I’m fairly well informed at the moment. I know for instance that the Antichrist and his forces are planning an invasion of the U.S.”
“Yes.” Aimi nodded slowly. “We were hoping that this information had filtered through. But there’s more that I can’t tell you.”
“Rules?” asked Sam.
“Rules,” she agreed, smiling wryly at him.
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment. “So, when did you actually become all angelic and everything?” he said, trying to keep the conversation light. He really wanted to kiss her again.
“I don’t really know. Time doesn’t really seem to well, pass in Heaven. There just doesn’t seem to be any concept of it.”
“Then how do you keep track of what’s going on in the real world?”
“I must admit, it’s difficult. Heaven is such a blissful place that you really don’t want to be reminded on what your life was back on Earth.” She stopped when she saw his face fall, and squeezed his hand tightly in reassurance. “No, I don’t mean that I don’t miss you. It’s just that it’s hard to look at all the pain and suffering going on in the world right now when you’re surrounded by perfection. Besides, even if I wanted to see what was going on, it’s really difficult.”
This was what Sam really wanted to know. In the time since he’d been left alone, had she been watching him? With him in some way? He’d always had this thought in the back of his mind as his comfort blanket. No matter how hard things got, it always made him feel slightly better knowing that Aimi might be watching him.
“Difficult?” he asked. “Difficult how?”
She frowned. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like there is a heavy mist between Heaven and Earth. And it’s not just with your eyes. It’s in your head, too. It’s hard to focus on the Earth. You only catch glimpses from time to time, and that’s only when you really focus.”
“Have you seen me?” he asked.
“Of course,” she said, smiling. “Only you. There’s no one else that I wanted to see. But it was hard. I tried to find you sometimes but I couldn’t. It was as if you’d disappeared or something.”
Sam had wondered whether his glamor concealed him from angels as well as demons. Although Aimi hadn’t been an angel at the time, it was clear that spirits in Heaven had limits.
“I can conceal myself from demons,” he said. “That might explain it.”
Aimi said, “I saw Gabriel on a few occasions. Once she even asked if I could find you, almost as if she couldn’t. Or maybe it was a test to see if I was fit to be an angel. Who knows?”
“And what about Hikari?” he asked. He felt guilty not asking about his Sensei and father figure sooner, but there were just so many questions he needed answered.
“He’s so happy.” Aimi smiled brightly. “At peace, like everyone in Heaven. I see him but not as often as I’d like now that I have duties. He watches over you, too, when he can. I know he misses you.”
Sam’s heart surged with pleasure. He felt like crying again. This moment would be even more perfect if Hikari had been there to share it with them. “And what did you see, when you did find me?” he said eventually.
Aimi’s face twisted in consternation. It hurt him to see such an expression on her beautiful face. “Pain, mostly. I hated to see you like that. I wanted to see you but every time I did, I’d only find you suffering. My heart ached for you at times like that and I would have given anything to be with you, but as soon as the mist gathered again, I’d forget. Heaven has that effect. Almost as if they don’t want you to remember how painful your physical existence was. I’d see you sometimes when you fought; the conflict that your heart and mind was going through, the loneliness and anger you felt…”
Tears were rolling down her cheeks. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being in anguish.
“I didn’t think angels could cry,” he said playfully, trying to change the mood.
She laughed and wiped away the tears.
“So, you’re allowed to be here. Now?”
“Yes, of course.” Her eyes darted to the right. He knew her so well he didn’t have to read her mind. She wasn’t being honest.
“Aren’t angels meant to always tell the truth?” he asked.
She slapped him lightly on the arm. “It’s only a tiny white lie. I had to deliver a message and you were nearby so I thought, why not?” She laughed happily. “Besides, I’m not all angel. My human side is still here.”
“Whereabouts?”
“Here,” she said, pointing at her head and then her heart.
“And where else?”
Slowly, she raised her fingers to her lips, never once losing eye contact with him. She smiled slyly. Sam had never experienced such a delightful rush of emotion.
They kissed again and he savored the salty taste of her tears in his mouth. They were his. The tears were for him. The kiss went on and on and gradually but inevitably turned into something else. Something wonderful.
He knew he was dreaming. He had to be although he hadn’t dreamt in years. You had to be asleep to dream and he really couldn’t risk it. Meditation had served him in its stead.
Anyway, dreams were the lovely happy visions that Aimi talked about. Since he was a small boy, all he’d ever had was nightmares. There was nothing lovely or happy about what he saw when he was asleep: flames, pain, suffering; dark voices whispering to him, urging him to release the beast within him. He’d always wake from them in a terrified sweat, screaming, his heart racing, the fear only lessened with the passage of time, and comfort from Aimi and Hikari.
This time was different though. There were no flames or pain — only an empty, featureless plain that stretched on forever. Above him, dark angry clouds surged. The ground beneath him was cracked and warped, without color.
He quelled the slight note of panic he felt. Dreams for him could be dangerous. His father lurked in his dreams and as he well knew, his father could be persuasive. He wasn’t known as the Father of Lies or nothing. That was why, when with trusted companions, he slept in a pentacle. Only then, safe in the magical symbol, warded against demons, would he have dreamless, peaceful sleep.
But he wasn’t in a pentacle, of course. A part of his mind knew that his body was in a bed in a deserted motel somewhere in Ohio. With Aimi asleep by his side.
He cursed his foolishness. He shouldn’t have been so stupid but he hadn’t been thinking. His mind was filled with thoughts of Aimi and what they’d shared together. Knowing that she was sleeping next to him. He felt so at peace, so happy. It just felt natural and right — so natural and right that he’d just fallen asleep. It was the first time he’d done that in years. It was only now he realized his error.
He tried to force himself out of the dream, back into reality but it felt like someone or something was blocking him. He willed with every ounce of his energy to wake up. To no avail. The dream landscape remained all too real. He wondered what was happening back at the motel — whether Aimi was alright. He knew she was an angel now and could probably defend herself more than adequately against demons, but it didn’t stop him fretting. The thought that she’d been highly trained with a sword by the same master that had trained him gave him some comfort. Besides, she had wings, didn’t she? As a last resort, she could always fly away.