That also meant I had a valid excuse if Drew figured out that I’d been carefully avoiding going over to see him. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that Drew was fine because Eric and Jason were there with him. Jason’s boyfriend was still in New York, which meant his plans to do some traveling over the winter were on hold indefinitely. I think he was trying to spend as much time as possible with Drew as a way to fill the hole left by Cam’s absence.
I felt as though I was stuck in limbo, waiting to see if Drew would reach out and tell me he wanted to see me. Other than his wrist, most of his physical wounds were healing pretty well, so I hoped it was only a matter of time before he’d call or ask me to stop by. Then again, I knew that was unlikely, given what I had seen the few times I had stopped by. It was completely against my nature to sit back the way I had been with Drew. This was the first time I’d been hesitant to fight for something I wanted. It wasn’t that I no longer thought Drew to be worth the fight, but I was a big enough man to step back when someone else would be better for him.
Knuckles rapping against the door of my makeshift office pulled me out of my thoughts of Drew and what could have been. That was good because there was too much to do around here for me to be daydreaming. I looked up and saw Eric standing in the doorway. That was a surprise that coiled my stomach slightly.
“Hey, I’m sorry to drop by, but I was hoping to talk to you for a minute,” he said, never stepping into my office. I motioned for him to take a seat and allowed myself to appreciate his good looks yet again. He had that same magnetic personality I’d seen the day we first met.
“Not a problem at all,” I assured him. “What can I do for you?”
Eric worried his bottom lip and scrubbed a hand through his chestnut hair. He was as gorgeous as ever, but there was no denying that he was exhausted, judging by the dark circles under his puffy eyes. Knowing he was the one who stopped Drew’s attack, I wondered if that was the source of his haggard state. My own mind had raced more than once thinking about what could have happened to Drew if Eric hadn’t come walking up when he did, so I could only imagine what Eric was going through.
“It’s about Drew,” he said bluntly. “I probably shouldn’t be here talking to you, but I didn’t know who else might be able to help.”
I sat up straighter, nervous about what Eric shouldn’t be talking to me about. “I’m not sure what it is you’re looking for, but you know I’ll do whatever I can. What’s going on?”
Eric chewed on his plump lower lip again and I could tell how difficult it was for him to find the words. I didn’t figure a man’s man like him was used to opening up about things that bothered him. He struck me as fitting just about every stereotype of your typical jock, exceedingly masculine in every way, emotionally stunted, and not used to thinking about anything other than the game.
“It’s weird,” he began, his voice softer than I thought him capable of, both in volume and tone. “It’s like the more he heals physically, the more standoffish he is. He’s pulling away from just about everyone. He’s afraid we’re all looking at him and still seeing his injuries.”
I quickly decided this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to be having at the center. Partly, I was concerned that people would walk in and interrupt us when I wanted to give Eric my undivided attention, but also, I didn’t want anyone putting two and two together and figuring out who we were talking about if they were in the hall eavesdropping. I didn’t want to think anyone here would do that, but I’d quickly learned that there was a lot going on at the Milwaukee center that I didn’t care for.
I started making stacks of the papers strewn all over my desk so I’d know where to start the next day as I listened to Eric continue telling me about what was going on with Drew. The more I heard, the more I thought I’d made a huge mistake by staying away. Not that I was any sort of authority on the subject, but this was something I was used to. I’d been hired by the center because I was a social work major in college. My goal in life was to help people, not sit behind a desk, acting like a cross between an accountant and a magician, trying to make money appear where there was none.
“I was just getting ready to head out for the day,” I lied. Any other day, I’d be here for at least another five hours. “Why don’t we head over to my place and continue this conversation in private?”
Eric looked around behind him as if he expected to see someone watching us. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw we were alone. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. Sorry, I was driving around running errands and passed this place and remembered that you worked here. I thought maybe you’d have some advice because I really don’t want to bring up the idea of him talking to someone.”
Well, at least we were on the same page there. Drew did need to talk to someone, but I don’t think Eric realized he wasn’t the only one who needed help. Eric had taken on the weight of everything with Drew, which was more than any friend should ever have to bear.
“I’m glad you stopped in,” I assured him. “I can’t say I know exactly what he’s going through, but this is what we deal with at the center far more often than we’d like. Maybe not to this extent, but a lot of the kids who come in here have been through bullying of varying degrees because of who they are.”
Eric let out a grunt of disbelief. “Bullying is a fuck of a lot different than what he went through.”
I grabbed my coat off the hook next to the door and motioned for Eric to lead the way out of the building. “That’s true in a sense, but a lot of times, bullying is a natural progression. Believe it or not, there are even people out there who think it’s not bullying at all until there are physical injuries. The truth is, sometimes the injuries caused by words are the ones that take the longest to heal.”
Eric and I walked to the reception desk and I let Jacob know I was leaving for the day. He was one of our success stories. He’d come to the center shortly after it opened and was now working here part-time to supplement the financial aid he received for college. Kids like him were the reason my work was so important to me.
The air was bitterly cold. For some reason, I thought I’d have a bit longer before it felt like the air was going to freeze the skin on my face. I’d been thinking about shaving my beard, but now that I felt the sting on my exposed skin, I was contemplating going all Grizzly Adams for the winter. I pulled up the collar of my coat to shield me and Eric laughed.
“If you think this is bad, you’re going to be screwed when it gets cold,” he teased.
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” Eric stopped in front of his Audi and stared blankly at me as I waited for him to get in. “You want to tell me where I’m going?”
Right. He didn’t know where I lived. I gave him the address of the furnished apartment the center had helped me find and told him to park along the side of the building. “Man, that’s like three blocks from here. You really drive to and from work?”
I didn’t every day, but until I got used to the weather here, I had no intention of walking unless the roads were so bad that it became the lesser of two evils. When I first got here, I loved how close I was to work because walking every day allowed me to see some of the people who might someday walk through our doors for help. We had a team of street advocates who tried to make sure everyone knew help was available, but we couldn’t force anyone to accept it. And sadly, I wasn’t sure we’d be able to fill the need if our load increased too much.
“Don’t judge me,” I said, attempting to sound put-off. “Not all of us are bred to live in weather like this. I’m telling you, it’s not natural.”