“You know I’d tell you if I could,” Cam whined. He was so damn gullible sometimes. Hell yes I got it, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. “It’s killing me, but I can’t say anything to anyone. Not even Jason, and believe me, he’s been making some pretty harsh threats, trying to get me to talk.”
“So tell him,” I urged, knowing if he told Jason, he’d feel guilty enough that he’d have to tell me. “It’s not like he’s going to spread it around or sell spoilers to anyone.”
Cam grabbed my pillow and hugged it tightly to his chest. “Damn, I forgot how evil you can be,” he complained. “You know they made me sign a shitload of paperwork and I’ll walk away with nothing if they find out I’ve been talking to anyone.”
Whether he realized it or not, he’d just given me a hint as to how far he’d made it, and that was really fucking far. That confused me since the episodes were always spread out over months, but I guessed it made sense that they wouldn’t drag out filming as long.
“Not cool,” Cam warned me as he threw the pillow at my head. “You totally just fucking tricked me!”
“Did not,” I protested, throwing the pillow back at him. Unlike Cam, I knew how to throw and I hit my mark. “You just suck at secrets.”
Having Cam back in town felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. No, he wasn’t what I used to dream he’d become, but in a strange way I felt as if we were closer than we’d ever been. Probably because there were no secrets between us, thanks to his shitty punctuality tonight.
Cam scooted up to the head of the bed and propped a pillow behind his back so the rough timbers of the headboard didn’t dig into his back. While it went well with the atmosphere of Eric’s luxury log home, it sucked when you wanted to sit up in bed. His face took on a serious expression I wasn’t sure I’d seen from him before. “So, you need to start talking and do it fast. What in the hell happened while I was gone?”
“Oh, you know… beating in an alley, Bryce is in town indefinitely for work, Eric had to do everything but wipe my ass for the first few days,” I began as if none of this was out of the ordinary. “Then, I turned into a total prick like I always do when I’m aggravated, but for some fucked up reason, those two haven’t given up on me yet.”
“Is it serious?” Cam asked with a hopeful look on his face.
I shrugged, still trying to decide if I saw the same possibilities Bryce had laid out before we were interrupted. I’d love to think it’d be possible for the three of us to figure out a way to work the logistics, not only in bed, but even more when the baseball season started. But that was a fool’s dream.
“Oh, my God,” Cam practically squealed. I dug my finger into my ear, pretending he’d damaged my ear drum. “You’re falling for one of them, aren’t you?”
“No,” I answered emphatically. At least that much was true. I wasn’t falling for one of them, but if I let my guard down, I could easily fall in love with both of them. And that shit didn’t happen, not to guys like me.
“Shut up! You so are!” I wondered if they could hear Cam’s every word out in the living area.
“No, I’m really not,” I insisted, my face impassive even though my heart raced uncontrollably. “Look, things between us are still new. If you’d asked me before you left if I’d ever in a million years even think about being with two guys, I’d have asked if you were high. You know that’s not my style.”
“But they made you change your mind?” Cam asked, pretty much finishing what I’d been about to say. I sat down on the bed next to him. Only briefly did I think about the last time we’d had a chance to sit down and talk like this. Not before he left for New York, but back when we were still in high school. Before shit got complicated. It was good to finally feel as though I truly had my friend back.
“They did,” I responded. Knowing that Cam didn’t seem to think it was fucked up did a lot to ease my nerves. I wasn’t foolish enough to assume everyone would react so well.
“Will you throw something at me if I ask why?” he asked.
I draped my arm over his shoulder, the same way I had when we were younger. Back then, it’d been to comfort him when he’d faced the wrath of his piece of shit uncle, but it became a matter of needing to feel him next to me. I needed to know he was still there, no matter what.
“Like I said, they haven’t given up on me,” I admitted. It sounded like a crappy reason to get involved with someone, but it really wasn’t. The fact that they kept pushing me to get better showed me just how much they cared. As we sat there, I wondered to myself if I might have been unconsciously testing them. “Not only that, but when they both realized I was struggling to figure out which one of them I wanted more, they offered me a solution where I wouldn’t have to choose.”
“And you think that’s going to work?” I’d have been upset about Cam’s doubts, but they were valid. Besides, I knew he was only trying to look out for what was best for me. I appreciated that.
“I guess only time will tell,” I said, unwilling to say anything more that might jinx us. I was trying to live in the moment for once in my life, without worrying about what might happen down the road. Ever since I could remember, I’d been the one who tried to plan out not only the next step in my life, but what came five steps down the road. That had worked for me up to a point, but the truth was it also led to a very lonely existence and major letdown when things didn’t go the way I’d planned. “Now, let’s get back out there before they come looking for us.”
Chapter 16
By the week of Thanksgiving, everything seemed to be moving along smoothly. Drew was still mostly a hermit, but he’d made an effort to get out of the house a few times. He’d even agreed to mentor a student at Pot of Gold, which I figured was a huge step in the right direction. He needed to get out there and see that others had it worse than him, and even though they were younger, they were far wiser than his sheltered life had allowed him to be. One young man in particular seemed to be leaving an imprint on Drew’s heart. While he’d originally agreed to meet with the kid once a week to help him catch up in school¸ Bryce and I had started joking that we’d never see him if I didn’t go down to the center to visit Bryce every day after working out.
Cody had dropped out of high school after his parents kicked him out. Not only that, but his father had beat the shit out of him for destroying his chances at a basketball scholarship by getting caught making out with one of his teammates in the locker room. Drew had made it his mission to do everything in his power to make sure Cody caught up on the classes he’d missed and still had the chance to go to college.
“I don’t get it,” he’d said when he got in the car. He’d been working with Cody for about a week and every night he grew more agitated with the situation. “All he wants to do is play ball. Yeah, he fucked up by fooling around in the locker room, but was that really such a major crime? Kids get caught fucking around in school all the time and it doesn’t get them a beating when they get home.”
“True, but I think it was more the fact that his old man thought it was a reflection on their entire family that put him over the edge.” His dad was a bit more extreme than a lot of people, but from what Drew and Bryce had told me, he was a blue collar worker who’d seen his son as a chance to correct all the mistakes he’d made when he was younger. Unfortunately, all he’d managed to do was put his son in the same place he’d been in at one point. “Cody is a prime example of why Bryce needs to keep doing what he’s doing. He’s back in school and he may still be able to graduate on time. And in a twist of fate, by his father kicking him out, he’s in a better district than he was before.”