“Yeah, but he also had Asher to keep his mind off what he was missing when spring training started,” I pointed out. God, I had no clue how I was going to get through February and March, sitting at home in Wisconsin while my buddies were in the sunny South playing.
“So get a dog or something,” Sean suggested with a laugh. “Really, they aren’t that much different than kids. You have to feed them, love on them, and clean up when they shit all over the place.”
I rolled my eyes because Sean was being ridiculous. I’d like to see anyone tell him they knew what it was like to be a parent because they had an animal. Other than the occasional middle of the night potty break, dogs didn’t require all that much. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to do that.”
Sean walked me out to my car. He leaned against the roof on the passenger’s side as I unlocked the doors. “Hey, I mean it. This really isn’t the end.”
“I know,” I assured him. “You guys have a good trip. Give me a call when you get back to town.”
As I drove away, I repeated Sean’s words to myself. This wasn’t the end. There was something else out there for me, but it was up to me to figure out what that was.
Chapter 18
“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.” Bryce grabbed my arm to keep me from pacing around the room. I’d been telling myself the same thing for the past hour, but now that I knew Eric had left without his phone, I was worried. He’d just gotten shitty news and took off. We were supposed to be having a relaxing night at home with Cam and Jason, but instead, everyone was trying to avoid talking about what’d just happened.
Cam knew better than to try to tell me it’d all be okay. I’d always hated when people said that shit, because there was no way to guarantee it would be. And I wasn’t only thinking about tonight and Eric being on the road while he was upset. I worried about the future, both his and ours. I hated myself for thinking this could be a good thing because it meant he wasn’t going to live on the west coast during the season. It meant I would be the only one with a fucked up schedule eight months out of the year.
Jason stepped outside, and I watched as he made some phone calls. “I just talked to Sean,” he announced when he came back into the house. “Apparently he’s over there.”
“There, now you know he’s not out doing something stupid,” Bryce said, leading me to the couch.
“I don’t understand why he’d storm out the way he did,” I admitted. I’d foolishly thought that now that the three of us were trying to turn this into a serious relationship, he would’ve turned to one of us instead of leaving. Not only that, but he went to his former lover’s house.
Bryce laughed as he sat down next to me. “You, of all people, have no right to judge someone for not wanting to talk about what’s bothering him. I wish he wouldn’t have left just as much as you do, but I’m sure he had his reasons.”
“Still sucks.” I was sulking, and I knew it. It seemed to be something I’d gotten pretty good at in the past month.
“True, but it’s not going to change anything for you to get pissed off about it,” Bryce reminded me. What I’d originally thought was an inability to get upset about anything turned out to be a staunch refusal to let anyone make him lose his cool. I admired that, even when it did frustrate the shit out of me. “Now, why don’t you go in there and help Cam get everything put away and then we’ll go to bed.”
“Don’t need the help,” Cam called out from the kitchen. Bryce glared at him, making me realize it was more so I’d have something to do than because he thought Cam couldn’t take care of it on his own. “Take him to bed. His mood’s not going to improve at all until Eric gets home. He’s just going to be the moody asshole we all know and love.”
“Am not,” I protested.
“Don’t try that shit with me,” Cam warned. Jason and Bryce both chuckled. “Every time shit doesn’t go your way, you get all pissy. Right now, it’s because you’re feeling like Eric doesn’t trust you enough to open up to you, even though that’s a crock of shit. If I had to guess, he’s trying to keep from worrying you with his problems. He knows you’re going to try to tell him it’ll all be okay, and that’s not what he needs right now.”
Bryce pulled me to his side when I tried to storm out of the room. Cam was too close to the truth for comfort. “He’s right. Just like you needed time to be pissed off and angry after the attack, Eric needs time now to work out whatever emotions he’s feeling.”
“There’s no reason for him to be pissed,” I argued. “Shit like this happens all the time. Someone else will pick him up. I know they will.”
Jason joined us in the living room and sat down in Eric’s chair. Well, what I used to think of as Eric’s super comfy, ratty and out of place recliner when he’d first come home at the end of the season. “Drew, the reality is they might not,” he told me. “It’s different for him than it is for you. If you got let go tomorrow, it’d sting, but you’re still young and some other team would scoop you up. He’s nearing the end of his career and teams would rather save their salary money for the stars of tomorrow, rather than someone who might make it another two or three years before his body starts screaming at him to quit.”
“Okay, but if it’s such a given, why’s he upset?” I asked. I was beginning to feel like the naïve kid I assumed they all saw me as. While I really hadn’t thought about what it’d be like to be in my mid-thirties and facing no one wanting me anymore, it seemed like an inevitability when Jason laid it all out. Eric wasn’t the first guy to face this and he wouldn’t be the last.
“Because it sucks to admit you’re getting old,” Bryce responded. “Add to that the fact that I’m sure it took him by surprise, and you have an instant bad mood. Things have been going well here, and he probably hadn’t given himself much time to fret over what was happening with his contract.”
“God, you guys all fucking suck when you make sense,” I grumbled. “Now, I’m going to take Cam’s advice and go try to get some sleep. My parents are leaving early in the morning so they’ll be here well before lunch time.”
I leaned down to kiss Bryce goodnight. “Don’t stay up too long,” I requested. We still hadn’t discussed whether or not it was acceptable for two of us to fuck around when the third wasn’t there, but I needed him. If there was any hope of me getting to sleep, I needed to feel his chest under my head as I curled my body around his.
“I won’t,” he assured me.
I waved goodnight to Cam and Jason, telling Cam to get whatever he needed for them to be comfortable. They were sleeping in what was technically my room. That way we wouldn’t have to worry about changing the sheets in the loft in the morning.
I didn’t bother turning on the lights as I shuffled into the bedroom leaving a trail of dirty clothes in my wake. That’d be sure to piss off Eric since he was a bit of a neat freak, but I didn’t care. He’d pissed me off, too.
The bed was cold. I pulled the covers up to my neck, trying to get warm, but nothing seemed to help. I considered putting on some sweatpants and a T-shirt, but I couldn’t do that because I had to believe Eric would eventually come back. With three grown men in the bed, there was barely a need for a thin blanket, much less clothes, to keep warm at night. It was usually a fight to see who’d get stuck tangled in the sheets because everyone was roasting.
Ignoring the light streaming in from the hall when the bedroom door opened, I flopped onto my stomach and punched down the center of the pillow. “What’d the pillow do to you?” Bryce asked as he walked into the room.
“Don’t mind me,” I said dismissively. “I’ve got a lot on my mind. Eric taking off the way he did was just the icing on the cake.”