Bryce sat down on the edge of the bed and toed off his shoes. I rolled onto my side and watched as he pulled his light blue Polo shirt over the back of his head and threw it into the hamper. I loved that particular shirt because it was the slightest bit too tight since he’d started working out with us in the basement every evening. He had a body that’d make just about anyone drool. I slid to the middle of the bed, making sure there was plenty of room for him to crawl in next to me.
He pulled me against his chest once he was under the covers and kissed the back of my head. “What’s going on up there?”
“A little bit of everything,” I admitted to him. I wasn’t in the mood to talk because I didn’t want him thinking I had doubts about us. The truth was, I was freaking the fuck out on the inside because I knew it’d be impossible to keep my mom from realizing what was going on once she saw all three of us in the same room. I knew she’d be happy Bryce and I were still together because she fucking adored him, but I was nervous about what she’d think when I told her Eric was in the mix as well.
“Then talk to me about it,” Bryce encouraged. “You’re upset with Eric for walking out instead of talking, but isn’t what you’re doing the same thing?”
“No,” I scoffed. “It’s completely different, because at least I’m still here.”
“But you’re not,” Bryce countered. “You’re here physically, but you’re lost in your own head. Rather than talk to me so I can help you find solutions, you’re content to sit and stew. That’s not fair to anyone, because the longer you do that, the more of a prick you become.”
“If I’m such an asshole, you can head out the same door Eric did.” If Bryce was trying to make me feel better, he was doing a shitty job of it. I didn’t need him guilting me.
Bryce’s fingers dug into my shoulders, almost painfully, as he rolled me over so I was facing him. “Eventually, you’re going to learn those games won’t work with me,” he warned me. “I let you push me away before, I’m not going to do it again. Not now that I see it’s something you do when you think people should turn their backs on you. Haven’t you learned by now that I’m more stubborn than you could ever dream of being?”
I huffed out a weak laugh. Bryce was one of the most bullheaded people I’d ever met, but he didn’t come across that way because he chose to stand his ground in more subtle ways.
“Like I said, it’s a little bit of everything,” I repeated, hoping he’d drop it for now so we could both get some sleep.
“Okay, so pick one thing and we’ll start there.” He ran his hand up and down the length of my arm, grounding me, reminding me that I didn’t have to go through life alone. For whatever reason, Bryce wanted to be here to help me work through my issues.
“I’m worried about tomorrow,” I admitted to him. “We’ve been living in our little bubble here, where it’s just us and the people we can trust to not judge us. Tomorrow, my mom and dad will be here and I don’t want to have to hide from them.”
“So don’t,” Bryce responded. “From what I’ve seen, your parents truly grasp the concept of unconditional love. They don’t judge you for who you are or who you’re with; they love you because you’re their son. Nothing beyond that matters as long as you’re happy and healthy.”
“Yeah, but how long will that last? I feel like I keep testing them, trying to find that invisible line where they’ll decide it’s too much.”
“They won’t,” he stated firmly. He had only met them once, yet he was more certain of my parents’ love for me than I was. “It might take a while for them to see just how good we all are for each other, but they will in time.”
“Yeah, but they’ve already ignored what our pastor tells them about relationships being a man and a woman, what are they going to say when they realize that I’m with two men?” Realistically, I’d known since the night we got together that this was one of the biggest hurdles I’d need to face when it came to being with them. None of us were the one-night stand type, so I think we’d all realized before we admitted it that we wanted more. But more meant eventually facing our families and later the rest of the world.
“When they see how well you’re doing, they’ll come around,” Bryce promised me. “Now, do you feel better?”
I shrugged and Bryce tightened his arms around my body. He did that sometimes, hugging me tightly when I felt adrift. It was just another way he steadied me, and I always wondered how he knew when I needed that firm embrace.
“What’s next?” he questioned. I buried my face into his chest, running my fingers through the dark, coarse hair that thinned out across his stomach.
The truth was, I’d done exactly what Bryce warned me not to do when I started volunteering at Pot of Gold. He’d told me that it was going to be difficult to keep from becoming attached to the kids I met there, but I’d blown him off, telling him that wouldn’t happen. It had, in a big way.
“I can’t fucking stand the fact that Cody is going to be stuck at the center tomorrow,” I admitted to him. “I hate the fact that none of those kids have anywhere else to go, because it’s a fucking holiday and holidays are supposed to be family time.”
Bryce took a few deep breaths and I steeled myself for the lecture I felt coming. He’d told me it was best to not get attached because a lot of the kids were there for a very short time. They’d wind up either running away when they started to get too comfortable or they’d reconcile with their parents and go home until the next time. But Cody was different. He’d been at the center since the beginning of summer, when one of the street advocates found him curled up under the bleachers at a local park. His parents had made no effort to welcome him back home and he seemed to be as stable and happy as could be expected for someone living in a homeless shelter.
“I was beginning to wonder when you’d admit how much you care about him,” Bryce said. He actually sounded relieved I’d said the words out loud. “Anyone who sees you working with him knows you two have formed a bond. Honestly, I think some of the other kids wish they could find someone they could talk to the way Cody can to you.”
“So you’re not pissed?” I asked.
“Haven’t you learned yet? That’s not my style, especially when I half expected it.”
“You did?” If he saw this coming, then why did he warn me against it? Why did he even ask me to mentor Cody if he knew I’d get attached?
“Yeah, I did. I gave you the same speech we give all the mentors, but I had a feeling it’d be impossible for you to not get close to Cody.” Bryce released me while I struggled to get comfortable. I was still trying to get used to not having the cast on my arm and it hurt when I laid on the still healing bones. “You both need one another. He needs you to show him a glimpse of that unconditional love I was talking about, and you need him to serve as a constant reminder that even though something shitty happened to you, it doesn’t define you.”
Fucking Bryce and his life lessons. It made sense. I’d been sitting here moping around the house, terrified to walk out the door until a couple of weeks ago. On the flip side, Cody had gotten the shit knocked out of him by his father and still got out of bed every day with a smile on his face. That may not have been the case in the early days, but now, he was grateful for everything he had, even if that wasn’t much. He was busting his ass to catch up in school because he was determined to prove everyone wrong about him. He wanted to show the world that he could be who he was without having to sacrifice a damn thing.
Cody was still a kid, but I had the feeling there were a lot of grown men who could learn a lot from him. He didn’t let anyone give him a hard time when he walked into his new school wearing clothes which didn’t fit his tall, athletic frame properly. He didn’t listen when other kids his age gave him shit for not being interested in girls or going to parties. The only thing he worried about was that someone would eventually realize that he was homeless, but even that didn’t stop him from living his life.