The unexpected retaliation was too much for the crows, and they quickly retreated back into the safety of the woods. Skipper hooked his rudder under Ruggum’s smock cord, hauling him back as the molebabe went to chase after the crows with a rock he could scarcely carry.
Cease fire, me ole mate, we’ve sent’em packin’.
Ruggum rolled his rock off among the trees and dusted his paws. He shouted after the distantly cawing birds.
Yurr, an’ doant ee cum back or oi’ll give ee billyoh, you’m gurt villyun rarscals!
The remainder of the journey was uneventful. Skipper and his party reached the Abbey in time for afternoon tea. Abbot Apodemus opened the gates for them.
Great seasons, you lot look as if you’ve been through some sort of adventure. What happened, my friends, tell me?
Skipper made his report as they strolled across the lawns to the Abbey.
The Father Abbot reflected on the story. No treasures found todayÑbut some lessons learnt. Ah well, no great harm done. You’re all back safe and sound, just in time for afternoon tea, I might add.
Sister Vernal smiled eagerly, for teatime was her special favourite.
Oh good, blackberry cream tarts!
Apodemus shook his head woefully as they entered the Abbey. Please, sister, don’t even mention blackberry cream tarts to me. They’ll haunt my dreams for seasons to come.
Malbun stifled a smile. What happened? Did something go wrong with the Dibbuns’ tart baking?
The Abbot was still shaking his head with despair. Did anything go right?
It was the Dab organisation, you remember: Dibbuns Against Bedtime.
On some pretext or other they got Memm and Foremole out of the kitchens, then the rascals ran back and bolted themselves in. Come and see.
When they arrived at the kitchens the door was off its hinges. Gooch the cook and his assistant, Furrel, were sorting through a selection of damaged tools they had borrowed from the wine cellars to unscrew the door hinges.
Gurdle Sprink clapped his paw to his brow. Oh corks, is that my best bungspike? Looks more like a confounded corkscrew!
Memm Flackery emerged from the kitchens, spattered from ears to tail with blackberry preserve and meadow-cream. Steady on, old lad. Don’t blame poor Gooch,’twas me who borrowed your gear.’Fraid we had to, wot!
Those little cads locked us out! We had to break back in, or the jolly old kitchens would’ve never been the same again!
Crikulus peered in at the chaos that had been caused. Hmm, looks like they took to decoratin’ the place with flour, preserve an’ cream. Where are the Dibbuns now?
Foremole Urrm wiped flour from his snout. Oi got’em all locked oop in ee veggible store, zurr. Tukk moi loife in moi paws doin’ et. They’m was fierce h’infants!
Skipper called on his two ottercrew to support him as guards. Right, shipmates, let’s parade these fierce h’infants out an’ see wot they got to say for’emselves!
Some of the Dibbuns were so coated with baking ingredients that they were unrecognisable. Malbun pointed to one, who looked like he could be a mole.
You there, stand up straight and take your paws out of that apron pocket.
What’s your name? Speak up!
The Dibbun licked cream from his chin. Oi’m Roobil, marm.
Friar Gooch pointed accusingly at him. Roobil, that’s him. He was the ringleader!
Malbun Grimp stared at the line of bespattered babes. You know where you are going now, don’t you?
A small voice murmured regretfully, H’up to bed, marm.
Memm eyed Roobil. Tell him he’s jolly well wrong. Explain to him where you wretches are going first, wot wot wot?
Roobil scuffed a footpaw across the floor, leaving a smear of blackberry preserve as he did. Burr, straight in ee barff oi apposes.
The Harenurse waggled a paw under his snout. Correct, sah, straight into the blinkin’ bath, an’ one whimper out of anybeast an’ I’ll bathe you twice!
Sister Vernal lectured the miscreants severely. Look at you, look at these kitchens! Shame on you. Rogues! Right, it’s bath, bed and no supper for the lot of you!
Roobil rubbed his small but bulging stomach ruefully. Us’n’s couldn’t manage no more vikkles to be eaten, marm.
Friar Gooch stamped a paw on the floor. Don’t dare talk back, you dreadful Dibbuns. You should be ashamed o’ yoreselves. Away with you and get bathed. That’s unless you have anything to add, Father Abbot?
Apodemus used his sternest tone. I’ll see you all in Great Hall tomorrow before breakfast. That’s when I’ll decide what must be done. You’re all on Abbot’s Report!
The Dibbuns exchanged shocked glances as they were led off, dumbstruck: Abbot’s Report was a very serious matter.
It was only when they were safely out of earshot that Skipper broke down laughing. Aharrharrharr! Did y’see the liddle faces on’em, harr harr!
Memm Flackery sniffed at the otter’s remark. I fail t’see anythin’ funny at all, sah!
The Abbot tried hard to keep a straight face, but failed. That Roobil, hahaha! We could’ve stood him on the table as an ornament at a feast.
Hohoho! I’ve never seen anybeast with that much preserve and cream on him. He, hahaha, he looked like a little statue!
Suddenly they were all laughing, even Memm. Hawhawhaw! That mousebabe Turfee, he will turn into a bloomin’ statue if all that flour’n’water dries on him, wot!
Everybeast had forgotten about Ruggum and Bikkle, who were still present.
Both were quite peeved at having missed all the fun.
Ruggum viewed the matter sternly. Hurr, they’m surr-pintly vurry naughty beasts. If’n oi wurr ee, zurr h’Abbot, oi’d choppen thurr tails off, burr aye!
With a swift paw gesture the Abbot warned the others to cease their merriment.
Quite right, Ruggum. I hope you and Bikkle never behave as badly as they have. Better go and wash your paws for tea.
Bikkle looked as though butter would not melt in her mouth. Ho no, Farver, we’s very good likkle beasts, not never like those naughty Dibbuns, never ever!
When they had gone, Apodemus turned to the elders. Thank you for not laughing, friends. We’ve got to show an example to the young ‘uns. Friar Gooch, would it be possible for you and Furrel to try and arrange some tea for us? Anything will do.
Gooch bobbed a small bow to the Abbot. I’ll see wot we can do, sir.
Per’aps you’d all like to take tea in the orchard? Tis still a fine day.
Apodemus patted the Friar’s paw. Splendid idea. Thank you, my friend.
Tea in the orchard was extremely pleasant. Gooch provided them with some of his seedcake, thin cucumber sandwiches and hot mint tea. Memm sat next to Malbun Crimp, listening to the account of the crow attack.
The Harenurse poured tea for them both. Crow attack, eh? Doesn’t sound half as blinkin’ bad as the Dibbun attack we put up with back here, little rotters! Oh well, I s’-pose that’s put paid to your hopes of rediscoverin’ that old badger place, what was the name of it, Brockhall?
‘Spect you’ll never find it now, wot?
Malbun blew on her tea to cool it. I’m not givin’ up that easy, and neither is Crikulus. Never fear, I’m thinking up a new plan already.
Crows don’t fly at night. The two Dibbuns weren’t bothered by them when they were lost and alone at night in the woodlands.