Plugg whirled on Scarum, shoving his double-headed axe under the hare’s chin. Kin yew sing h’eddicated ditties?
Scarum gulped. Educated ditties, sah, I was brought up on’em, could sing ditties before I could talk!
Plugg aimed a cheerful kick at the floored Slitfang. See, I told yer, that’un come from the quality. Go on, then, h’eddicated rabbit, sing us a ditty.
Scarum bobbed his ears politely. These ropes are pretty tight.
The silver fox raised his axe meaningly. Never mind tellin’ us the name o’ the ditty, just sing it!
Scarum pulled a wry face at Sagax and Kroova, then launched into his song.
O’tis marvellous what an education docs for a chap, His eyes light up when he puts on the old thinkin’ cap, His brain begins to whirr an’ click,
Ideas pour in fast an’ thick,
‘Cos that’s what an education’s for!
If it takes one mole to dig a hole,
Ten seasons and a bit.
How many moles could dig that hole,
If they were fat an’ fit?
Then if two squirrels helped them,
As deep as they could reach.
If those two squirrels made a pair,
The answer is a peach!
That’s what an education does for a chap, It leaves the blinkin’ duffers in a bit of a flap, For learnin’ facts you may depend,
One spouts out answers without end,
So hearken now an’ I’ll astound you more!
If two sparrows had six arrows,
And set out to shoot a duck,
Just how long would it take them,
Before they had some luck?
The answer’s jolly simple,
As clever types will know,
To bag that duck they had no luck,
Because they had no bow!
‘Cos that’s what an education does for a chap, When learnin’ dawns upon him like a big thunderclap, As they hear his knowledge flow,
The clods will cheer and shout what ho,
Now that’s what an education’s for!
If I had two an’ you had two,
And she had two as well,
If they had two, just like we two,
The truth to you I’ll tell,
If one knew far too little,
Those facts would be too few,
But if one had education,
One would find the answers, too!
The Freebooter crew, who had gathered around to listen, sat slack-jawed with wonderment at Scarum’s rapid delivery of the song, for he had sung it at an alarming rate, without a single stumble.
Kroova could not help smiling. Well done, matey, I’d clap ye if’n me paws was free!
The hare sniffed. Think nothin’ of it, old lad. Huh, you’d wait a long time expectin’ applause from these vermin oafs!
Plugg swiftly cuffed a few ears and kicked some tails. Come on, ye dimwits, if’n ye ain’t got a h’eddication, the least ye can do is to show the rabbit you’ve got some manners! He strode among his crew, making sure they all cheered.
Sagax moved closer to Kroova and murmured quietly, Good old Scarum.
While he’s keeping them amused, they’re not talking about slaying us, eh, mate?
Kroova looked at the cheering vermin, knowing that their mood could change in the blink of an eye, depending on their captain’s good or bad humour.
Aye, mate, but it’ll only last as long as ole Scarum can keep’em entertained.
Sagax watched his friend. Scarum was launching into a funny story about a rhubarb pie fight between two frogs. The young badger shook his striped head.
I know he’s the world’s worst glutton and we’ve had to yell at him from time to time, but we’d be in a bad way right now if we didn’t have him along. To think that our very lives are depending on Scarum keeping a crew of vermin amused.
Kroova had to raise his voice to make himself heard above the guffawing crew of the Seascab. Yore right, mate, I’ll never shout at’im again for robbin’ vittles. If’n we gets out o’ this lot, ole Scarum can stuff’is face to’is’cart’s content!
Sagax shot the sea otter a warning glance. Not too loud, mate. Keep your voice downÑhe might hear us!
26
After wading through the small stream they had been following, Triss felt as though the one it flowed into was almost a riverÑbroad, deep and fairly swift-running. Almost up to her neck, she clung to Shogg’s paw, which supported her stoutly. Arvicola went ahead with them, his watervole tribe bringing up the rear, no strangers to overhanging foliage and a night-darkened waterway.
Triss peered anxiously into the gloom ahead. Are we anywhere near the shore yet?
Arvicola answered in his slow, rustic drawl. If n you do berleev that yon vermin are sure to track ye, then I do think it be time to divert’em, missy.
Shogg shook his head doubtfully. There’s one among’em, Riggan the slavecatcher, she’s clever, matey. Ye’d’ave trouble bluffiner from a trail.
Arvicola pulled a reed and chewed reflectively on it. Mayhap she’s smart, but I berleev you’ll find us not t’be fools. This be our territory, we knows it like no other beast. Hop out of this water now an’ I’ll tell ye my plan.
They pulled themselves up onto the bank, Arvicola and his tribe following suit. The watervole Chieftain issued orders in an unhurried manner.
All of ye now, circle an’ mill. You two as well, friends.
Obediently they joined the watervoles, milling about in circles, stamping the ground hard until Arvicola called a halt. He inspected the ground, satisfied with the result.
I do berleev it be nicely flattened an’ well marked now. Look you, friends, see where my paw be a-pointin’.
Triss nodded. Over the water to the far bank.
The watervole’s homely face broke into a brief smile. Well said, missy.
Now, yonder there is an overgrown ledge, I do berleev’twill fit ye both snug. You jump in the water an’ make your way across to it, an’ we’ll bide’ere till you be goodly hidden. Hasten now, waste not the time.
Shogg took Triss by the paw and the two leaped into the broad stream.
He guided her across and felt around in the dark until he had located the ledge beneath lots of hanging grass and fern. They ducked under the water and surfaced beneath it. Taking care not to touch the screen of vegetation, Triss peered through. She could barely make out Arvicola standing on the far bank.
Shogg called across to him, ’Tis a good’idin’ place, mate. Wot now?
Arvicola chuckled. Stay put there, friends. My voles will mill around a bit more, then go south through the woods. We’ll be leavin’ a fine ole messy trail for your vermin foes to follow. Whatever ye do, stay there silent. Wait until they leave the waterway to follow us. When they be well clear, ye can both carry on through the water. Tis not a great distance to the shores and the sea. Fare ye well now, I do berleev we’ll be off!
Milling and stamping away, Arvicola and his watervoles crashed off through the woodlands.
After a while, the silence and darkness began making Shogg feel edgy.
He murmured uneasily, I don’t like it, Triss, sooner be on the move than stuck’ere stannin’ still. What if Riggan spots us?
The young squirrelmaid clasped her friend’s paw. This is the best chance we’ve got, believe me. I trust Arvicola. He looks like a woodland bumpkin, but that watervole has got a crafty old head on his shoulders!