“I couldn't ask for a better Chief Engineer, Liam,” Captain Valance said. “We're lucky to have you.”
“But you are still wondering why I'm here.”
“I have to admit I am. You have to understand, I've spent the last five years with people who don't exactly do anything out of the goodness of their hearts.”
“Well, at first I came aboard out of the kindness of my heart, and to satisfy my curiosity.”
“And now?”
“Let's just say I've been watching the news feeds. I checked the miniburst from Hart News when we came out of hyperspace half an hour ago. Three more civilized worlds have fallen under the influence of the AI virus. Eden ships have hit four more solar systems and left them in ruins. Your friends the Aucharians have officially surrendered to Regent Galactic so they can receive aid without paying for it. The Galaxy is in pain, freedoms and security are being eradicated solar system by solar system radiating out from the Regent Galactic territories. All the while your speeches about joining a revolution against them are getting more and more popular, spreading across the galaxy.”
“Looks like I don't watch the news enough.”
“I normally don't either, but after returning from Earth, I'm making an effort to catch up.”
“Ever think of finding a way back? It'll probably the only safe place left before long.”
“All the time. Then I pause for a moment. What was my time on Earth for if I turn around and beg my way back to the homeworld? I have learned much and applied very little over the last decade or two. This feels like a place I'm needed, where the right cause is being pursued. I was once a military man, I know how to press a group to accomplish a goal, how to reward and punish them if need be. So I am where I'm needed. As for you, well,” Liam chuckled and clasped Captain Valance's shoulder. “You are an icon whether you like it or not. Jacob Valance motivates people with his strength. Some people want to be you, others want to impress you, many respect you, a few want to befriend you while others like to hate you but just like everyone else, they believe you're the right man for the job.”
“I wouldn't say everyone.”
“True, there will always be those who stay here because they can't see their way anywhere else and they'll hate you because they can't think their way out of their own situation. They'll eventually find their way off the ship, whether it's on their own or trailing behind someone else. As the first paydays happen, they start to make this ship their home, and we're tried by combat, some will solidify, others will fall away. I believe that if you keep to the right ideals, trust your instincts, we will find ourselves on the right path.”
“That makes one of us,” Captain Valance said with a wry grin. “That's a lot of faith for someone I just met a few days ago.”
“I'm just returning the sentiment. You didn't need to take me on. You could have kept the Triton running on two or three reactors until you found a government willing to buy her from you. Instead you decided to trust me, to trust hundreds of other people, refugees, deserters and people hired for the lowest going rate. They're grateful, mind you, their alternatives were much worse.”
“A lot of them are spoiling for revenge against Regent or Eden.”
“While others just want to be close to a man they believe in on a ship capable of giving them a quality of life they might not find anywhere else,” Liam walked Jake over to the quieter end of the engineering control room floor.
“I'll be honest,” Jake sighed, making a concious decision he hoped he wouldn't regret in the future; To trust the older man. “I'm five years old, maybe six or seven at the most. They tried to implant memories from someone else and according to him I wiped them out or suppressed them, leaving only what he knew how to do and whole operational databases on engineering, tactics and medicine. Give the parts to a Raze Mark Three Space Superiority fighter and I can build it for you then fly it off the deck. If you scan me right now with one of those high resolution readers you'll find a bioelectrical frame that can materialize living matter.”
“I already did Jake, you might be surprised at how hard it is to detect that technology. I'm sure you scanned yourself before you realized what you were made of and didn't see it.”
“I did, there's a layer of bone and insulation you can't get through unless you use a very high quality system.”
“Though that's more intriguing than this entire ship, it doesn't phase me. For many reasons extending past your construction or origin, you're a unique individual like anyone else.”
“That's not my problem. I'm getting pieces of Jonas' memories. They're coming to me in dreams, just the most important bits I think.”
“How do you feel when you're having them? Just try and put yourself in those moments and recall the sensations for me.”
Jake couldn't believe he was having this conversation, not with him, not with anyone. There was something about Liam, his self assuredness and kind manner. As he thought about it he realized all he had to lose were a few secrets. He relaxed and let his mind wander back to those memories. To those people. “I feel that I'm with friends, people I trust, people I enjoy being with. The one that says he's proud of me is very important, while there's another who, well, she appeared more than once. I feel like I miss her, she's very special, very dear to me.” He opened his eyes and looked at Liam. “But none of this is mine. It belongs to a dead man.”
“You understand that, but it isn't the way you may ultimately feel. I suggest you let this happen, experience it fully. Maintain the awareness that these aren't your memories but allow them to enrich your life. If you meet anyone who you remember through his experiences look at yourself as a representative of him. Tell these people that you aren't Jonas, that you have his feelings and emotions if that's ultimately where this leads, and go forward as yourself. Don't pretend to be him, but don't be afraid to become more like him. That could happen naturally if the memories continue to surface.”
Everything he said made sense, and Jake nodded along even though there was a nagging fear. The fear that he would lose himself in the recollections of someone who he barely knew. “I understand. I'll try it.”
“There were victims of traumatic experiences on Earth. I met several of them while I was on retreat. They had some of the same problems with their own memories. After blocking whole parts of their lives out they became different people and when those memories returned they didn't know how to handle it. You have to be prepared to remember things that changed your predecessor's life, to relive powerful emotions and find someone you trust to talk about them. They'll change you, and so will the way you deal with them.”
Jake laughed ruefully and shook his head. “You know, I came here to check on the engines, not to be checked on by the Engineer. Thank you Liam, just keep this to yourself.”
“Only if you keep me up to speed on how you're doing. I'd like to help, I believe I can. Let's just say my reward is living vicariously through you. Your life is much more interesting than my own.”
“Done. I have to get to the bridge. Thank you for the work you've done down here. Your officers quarters are ready at the rear of the command deck.”
“Ah, I've already moved into the Chief Engineer's ready quarters down here. Reassign them.”
“You're sure?”
“Aye Captain. I'm a minimalist.”
As Jacob Valance left engineering in one of the main express cars, he couldn't help noticing that things were changing.