Desoto sighed. “My day off. I was looking forward to deep-sea fishing and Mickey Mouse. I guess instead I’ll go home and watch television.”
“You watch too much television,” Carver said.
“I know, amigo, I’m a vast wasteland.” Desoto grinned and wiped a finger across his teeth, as if he suspected spinach might be stuck to an incisor. A good-looking guy protecting that smile. “What about Willis Eiler?” he asked. “Have you told Edwina that her Willis is another Willis?”
“Not yet,” Carver said. “I will today. Soon.”
“I don’t envy you, telling her that.”
“It’s not an enviable job,” Carver said, “but it’s a necessary one.”
“You’ll find the right time to tell her,” Desoto assured him. He lifted a hand in parting, sparking sunlight from a gold cufflink. “Maybe then love or sex or whatever will lose some of its ambiguity.” He turned and walked toward where an unmarked car with a driver was waiting.
Maybe, Carver thought.
They sat in the shade of the fringed umbrella, at the white metal table on Edwina’s veranda, where Willis Eiler had sat as Willis Davis and had his breakfast the morning of his disappearance. The departure point where, in one manner or another, he had left his lover in one of the ways not covered by Paul Simon’s fifty.
Carver had told Edwina of Willis’s real identity, his background, the inescapable conclusion. Her expression remained impassive as she listened. The reaction to his words must have been violent, but she’d kept it inside her. There was no indication of the cold shock of the undeniable, the burgeoning emotional storm. That scared Carver. It was as if she’d chosen not to face the truth but to recede further back into delusion. He had to stop her, draw her out.
“He used you,” Carver told her. “That’s what it was about from the beginning. He wanted you to help him get employed at Sun South so he could work his phony time-share racket. He’d probably done it before, knew it was his quickest route to a lot of money.”
Edwina stared across the table at him; a wavering reflection of the sea behind him played subtly in her gray eyes. What was going on behind that reflection? For an instant he wondered if she had known Willis’s identity all along.
“I don’t sense pity in you,” she said.
“I’m frustrated,” Carver admitted. “Scared, and a little angry.”
“At me?”
“At you. At Willis. At the situation. He used you. You’re still letting him. He’s causing you to suffer, even from a distance. Even if he’s dead.”
She shook her head slowly. “He isn’t dead.”
“No,” Carver said, “he isn’t. That was only something else he wanted you to believe.”
“You seemed to relish telling me this.” There was a kind of agonized disbelief in her voice, a note of betrayal.
“I hated telling you,” Carver said. “But I relish the fact that at last the truth is out about Willis. I regard that as the necessary first step in you finally freeing yourself from him.”
She caressed the warm metal of the tabletop with her fingertips, as if it were a live thing that might respond to her touch. “There’s a cruelty in you; I knew that from the beginning. Maybe I was attracted to it. Me looking for trouble in men again. I’m like that, I suppose.”
“Maybe I am cruel,” Carver told her, “if doing what has to be done is your idea of cruel. Maybe it takes someone like me to push you out of the prison of your obsession and into the light.”
“Light?” she said, with a vagueness that disturbed him. She seemed to be slipping away, into a dimension of pain where she’d be alone and he couldn’t follow. “Is it light you’re moving me toward? Or is it darkness? Emptiness? Where there’s nothing to hold on to. Other times, other places, people we know, eventually they all leave you, gone away into nothing, remembered, fading, taking part of you with them.”
“You have to learn to let them go,” Carver said, “grab the future.” He was terrified by the way she was talking. “You use the years you have left.”
She cocked her head to the side and stared at him. “Are you the future? You and your drugstore philosophy?”
“Maybe. But that’s irrelevant. The future is on the way, the past is receding. Willis is over, but that doesn’t mean the end of your life.”
She smiled dubiously. “A new beginning?”
“A continuation,” Carver said. “New beginnings are mostly bullshit. We’re only allowed so many of those and we tend to use them up in a hurry. I’m talking about a continuation of you as you. The you that was getting by before you met Willis.”
“You seem to have this all worked out for me.”
“I worked it out for myself, and not so long ago.”
She stood up and walked to the low wall around the veranda, looking out to the sea. Then she stepped over the wall and walked to the edge of the drop, the point where Willis had left his folded jacket and his shoes and allegedly leaped to his death.
Carver wanted to jump up, shout her name, run to her and snatch her back away from the edge. But he didn’t. He knew that kind of rescue would be only temporary, and he was sure she wouldn’t follow Willis’s imagined plunge to the sea. She knew he hadn’t leaped. She knew now what he was. She had to know!
But she was leaning outward, her hair flung like a pennant in the breeze. The wind off the sea might grab her, claim her.
Carver stood up, bumping his head on the damned umbrella.
She turned, as if sensing his movement.
Then she walked back onto the veranda.
They both remained standing.
Keep it out in the open, he thought. Keep it out where she has to face it. She was strong enough now; he could see that in the depth of her eyes, the raised, smooth sweep of her jaw. She was one of this war’s survivors. He said, “Ask yourself how you feel about Willis. How you really feel.”
She crossed her arms, hugged herself as if she were chilled in the ocean breeze. “I don’t feel love anymore. But there’s something-a kind of passionate need I can’t identify.”
Carver walked over to her and stood beside her but didn’t touch her. Without speaking, she moved as if drawn toward the house.
He walked beside her with the cane, and she slowed her pace to match his.
Inside the house, she slid the glass doors to the veranda closed. The roar of the surf became distant, a constant, seductive whisper. Carver circled her waist with his free arm, kissed her.
In the bedroom the sea was louder. The window was open and the drapes swayed lazily. Carver lay on the bed and watched Edwina undress. She was no longer even slightly shy with him; there was, in fact, a meticulous, unhurried grace to her movements that suggested she enjoyed undressing before him.
She walked over and stood nude next to where he lay, so he could reach her. Her sun-darkened flesh had goose bumps on it and she was breathing rapidly, quaking so that he could see the vibrant trembling in her breasts. He reached out and with the backs of his knuckles caressed the paler, smooth flesh of her inner thigh. She jerked a breath inward, lightly closed her eyes.
The telephone jangled. Neither of them moved.
It rang again. Twice. Three times. Four.
Persistent.
Women and phones. Edwina touched Carver’s face gently, then stepped aside and lifted the receiver.
She said “yes” three times, hoarsely, then she turned and held out the receiver for Carver. “It’s for you. Desoto.”
Carver twisted his body, took the receiver, and reached out to drop it back in its cradle.
Edwina gripped his wrist, stopping him from hanging up. “He’ll call back,” she said. “Better to talk to him now.” She ran a hand across her stomach, leaving faint scratches from her fingernails. “Maybe it’s not important; get rid of him.”
Carver was staring at the pink tracks on the smooth flesh of her stomach; his heart was racing, his blood roaring like the sea in his veins. He pressed the receiver to his ear and identified himself. Not important, get rid of him.
“Amigo,” Desoto said, with exaggerated geniality. “Feel like looking at more dead bodies?”