He met her gaze. “What?”
“I like it that you want me, but I want you to like me, too.”
He paused, then lifted his hand to stroke her hair. “I do. I just feel like I need to watch out for you. You need a reality check sometimes.”
She rubbed her hand over his rough jaw and smiled. “I like the reality check you just gave me.”
“You’re making it hard to keep our marriage a secret,” he warned her.
“Just a little longer,” she said, lifting her mouth to his, enjoying the sensation of his lips and tongue. “I want it between you and me just a little longer.”
Chapter Twenty
“We are stronger than we look. We are stronger than we think we are. Don’t ever forget that, sunbeam.”
– SUNNY COLLINS
Lori awakened to the sensation of Jackson ’s body against hers. She loved his masculine scent. She loved his broad shoulders and the way his strength permeated his body and his mind. She loved being close to him.
She loved… him.
The realization slipped into her consciousness. Her usual arsenal of denial and self-defense must have still been asleep. Lori looked at Jackson ’s face and knew she was in love with him.
How? When? Her lungs squeezed tight, taking her breath away. She’d known she could trust him. She’d known she was attracted to him. She’d known he would watch out for her. She’d also known he would never fall for her.
Crap. So now she’d fallen for her so-called husband, was stuck with him until she was thirty, when they would amicably divorce.
Panic raced through her. How was she going to manage this? How was she going to keep it from him? Because heaven forbid, Jackson would probably just feel sorry for her, and she couldn’t bear that.
Desperate for a moment alone, she rolled over to get up. A large, warm hand snaked around her waist and she closed her eyes. “Where you going?” he asked in a sexy, deep voice.
“I need to take Kenny outside. His bladder won’t wait.”
“Are you coming back?”
“I need to get my shower,” she said, scooting the rest of the way out of bed and pulling on her clothes. “I’ll see you at breakfast. Okay?” she said, more than asked, then raced out the door.
By the time Lori took care of Kenny, tried to wash away her feeling of panic during her morning shower, and arrived in the kitchen, Jackson was drinking his coffee at the breakfast table. Alone.
Darn, she’d hoped for a buffer from someone else this morning. “You beat me down. Have you already eaten?” she asked, picking up an egg biscuit from the warming pan on top of the stove. “Do you want a biscuit?”
“Already had mine,” he said.
Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she sat across from him at the table. Feeling his gaze on her, she took a bite of the biscuit but found it hard to swallow. She wondered if he could sense a change in her. For such a practical man, Jackson could be incredibly intuitive. Her stomach felt like a jumble of nerves. She wondered if she could hide her feelings. Or would it be useless to try? Would he be able to read the fact that she loved him, as if she were wearing a billboard?
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she quickly replied but nearly knocked over her coffee cup. “Oops.”
“I repeat. What’s going on? You seem jumpy,” he said.
She forced herself to smile. “I guess I don’t have the morning-after routine down yet.”
He took a sip of his coffee and leaned back in his chair. “We’re married. You don’t have to do anything special,” he said. “Unless you want to go back to bed.”
She felt a wicked thrill at his suggestion but shook her head. “Someone would notice. There would be questions I’m not ready to answer.”
“Why not?” he asked with a shrug. “Can’t keep it a secret forever.”
She bit her lip. “I know, but I haven’t figured out what to say. How to explain.”
“You just say you’re married,” he said.
“People will ask questions, like when did we decide to do it? And when did we realize we have feelings for each other?”
“Keep it general. We’ve had feelings for each other for a while and decided getting married was the right thing to do.”
“Easy for you to say. Women are expected to give more details.”
“How long do you want to keep this on the down-low?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Lori,” Jackson said. “Are you embarrassed that you’re married to me?”
“No,” she said immediately. “No. I just don’t know how-” She broke off, flustered. “I don’t know-”
“I’m curious how you plan to handle come-ons from other men.”
Another wave of confusion rolled over her. “Other men? There aren’t a lot of other men around the ranch, except for summer-camp leaders, and they’re gone within a week, since they arrive and leave with their specific groups. Geoffrey’s gaga over Maria, so that takes care of him.”
“What about Cash?” he asked.
“I didn’t even think about him. If he approaches me, I’ll just tell him I’m not available.”
“So what are the rules, Lori? Do you expect us to be exclusive? Or are you and I just business partners with benefits?”
His question caught her off guard. “I thought we would be exclusive. We are married, even though-” She felt a heaviness in her chest. “I guess I can’t require it, but-” She cleared her throat, feeling a rising tide of panic. “I did say there should be discretion. What is this about? Have you met someone? Is there someone else?”
He lifted his hands. “I’m not the one who wants to keep it secret.”
She sighed. “It’s my sisters.”
“Your what?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
Oh, no, his eyebrows were talking to her again. Unable to sit another second, she stood. “My sisters are madly in love with their husbands, and their husbands are madly in love with them. How in the world can I explain you and me to them? What do I say? I married you so I could get my inheritance, and I’m paying you to be my husband. Oh, and the rest of the deal is that we get divorced when I turn thirty.”
Jackson shook his head and stood. He looked fed up. “Let me know when you figure out what you want. In the meantime, I’ll head back to Dallas.”
Her heart sank. “So soon?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Call me if you need anything,” he said and left the room. Staring after Jackson, Lori heard steps behind her and turned to see Maria, who must have entered from the back door. Lori searched the other woman’s face to see if she could read how much Maria had heard of her conversation with Jackson.
“Hi,” Lori said after a long moment of silence.
“Hi,” Maria said and wrapped up the remaining biscuits and put them in the refrigerator.
Lori chewed her lip. “I don’t know what you may have heard-”
“It’s none of my business,” Maria said.
Lori cringed. Her statement said it all.
“But,” Maria added, “I don’t know a woman who would not be proud to call Jackson her man.”
Lori sighed. “It’s not that I’m not proud of him.”
“It didn’t sound that way,” Maria said, lifting one of her dark eyebrows. “You sounded very wishy-washy.”
Lori heard the front door close and knew it was Jackson leaving. She closed her eyes for a second at the searing pain that stabbed her. “He doesn’t love me,” she finally said, the words feeling as if they were torn from her.
“How do you know?”
Lori popped open her eyes. “I had to talk him into marrying me. I had to give him money.”
“Did he ask for money?”
“No, but I know he expected it. As soon as we were married, he invested the money in a construction deal.”
Maria frowned. “I still don’t understand why you did this. You’re skinny and a little spoiled, but you’re pretty enough. Many men would take you.”