“Seriously, though. I need to look good.” He crashes back onto his bed and looks at me.
“Why?”
“Have you ever fallen for someone you shouldn’t?”
I shrug, but Rex isn’t really asking me — for which I am grateful.
“That’s totally happening to me.” He sits up and looks at me seriously. “Don’t tell anyone this, but I’m, like, obsessed with Katie Coleman.”
“Really?” I have no idea how he’s found anything in her to obsess over. There’s no depth there that I can see.
“I know, I know…” He doesn’t. He thinks I’m puzzled because of her reputation. Actually that’s the one thing I can understand Rex would find enticing, since he seems unbelievably desperate to get his end off. “But I just think she’s got levels, y’know? She’s such a tease, but half of it’s just front.”
There’s an obvious joke there about the cup size of Katie’s front, but I don’t go for it.
“I thought you pulled her the other week?” The night I left the park with Hannah.
“Nah.” Rex shrugs. “Was in a relationship, wasn’t I?”
I hope that question is rhetorical, because if I had to answer, I’d tell him that it doesn’t count if the person you’re seeing doesn’t exist.
“So… now you’re single, you’ll shag Katie?” I ask, without actually wanting to know.
“Might not be that easy, mate.”
“Yeah, right.” My disbelief is palpable.
“Just because you went there with Hannah doesn’t mean Katie’s the same…” I should remind him that Katie gave one of his friends a hand job behind the toilets in the park, but he’s still talking. “Besides, you’ve seen how Tyrone is about Hannah — can’t stand her.”
There’s no arguing with that. I could count on one hand the words he’s spoken to me since the Hannah incident.
“You can’t let Tyrone tell you who to fancy,” I hear myself saying.
“I know, but he’s my best mate and Hannah’s Katie’s best mate… I don’t want it to be difficult if I start seeing her.”
He wants to go out with her? I thought we were just talking about tonight.
I’d like to say that Tyrone’s big enough to let his friends do whatever — whoever — they want, but that’s a lie. Tyrone is someone who likes to control everyone — especially his friends.
HANNAH
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. The last thing I want to do is go to a party, but if I bail on Katie she will literally kill me.
I guess that would solve my problem.
I’m late getting to hers and she’s already fully made-up and wearing a bra that’s two sizes too small in order to give her extra lift.
“You look like shit!” is the greeting I get and I swallow, my throat too dry to function.
Katie Im pregnant.
But one of her little brothers has come running into the hallway with a water pistol and she’s too busy screaming at him not to ruin her skirt for me to get a word in. Silently, I go upstairs and empty the contents of my bag onto her bed. I packed in a hurry and I’ve forgotten to bring a pair of going-out pants. I’ll just have to wear the ones I’ve got, even if they aren’t all that sexy.
My heart stops beating — a second for every boy I can remember who’s taken my pants off.
Then it starts up again and I go through the motions of getting ready, my brain on pause as I brush mascara deep into the roots of my lashes and dab gloss onto my lips, before I wriggle into the dress I brought. Katie’s still downstairs and I can hear shouting. The walls are thin in her house and there isn’t enough room for all the people that live here. Turning her iPod up, I stand side on to the mirror and pull my dress straight, staring at my reflected tummy as if I’ll somehow see something there that I didn’t notice before. It looks the same as ever to me. The door swings open and I jump back guiltily.
“You bring anything?” She means alcohol and I shake my head. “Why not? We can’t turn up empty-handed.”
“Why don’t you sort it out for a change?” I snap and she looks at me, shocked for a second as she balances on the brink of being hurt before she teeters over into anger.
“What is wrong with you? You haven’t been the same since you shagged that stuck-up Satan spawn.” She’s talking about Aaron Tyler. They aren’t getting on too well after he told her to stop calling him Emo Boy during English today. Katie doesn’t like being told what to do.
“Sorry.” Tell her now, Hannah.
But I can’t.
“Whatevs. You should stop stressing over him. He’s not even that good-looking.” Katie then launches into a full-blown character assassination, as she adds some last-minute touches to her make-up. I get bored after the millionth time she slags off his clothes.
“I like the way he dresses,” I say. I don’t especially, but I can’t stand hearing this any more. It’s too much noise when all I want is quiet.
“You would,” she says, tracing another line of black across her eyelid. “He dresses like Jay and his mates.”
She’s right — he does.
“It’s probably because he came from that posh school,” she carries on, switching to the other eye. “He’s got more money than the rest of us.”
“What posh school?” No one knows much about where Aaron came from. Still. Katie shrugs and I decide she’s making it up. Besides, his family can’t be that rich. I mean, Mr Tyler’s only a teacher, so he can’t earn much. Not like Robert, who shits Rolexes. Besides, although our school’s not posh, it’s hardly as if the people that go there are poor — you only need to clock how many of them wear new trainers each term.
Katie gets annoyed with me on the way to the party because I won’t have a smoke or go halves on the gallon of vodka she wants to buy. I don’t know what I’m doing about… It… but I can’t help totting up all the drinks and cigarettes I’ve had in the last month and the thought makes me feel panicky. Turns out me refusing to chip in doesn’t matter since every offy we enter tells us to leave before we even get to the shelves. I’m kind of relieved, TBH, since there’s no way they’d’ve fallen for Katie’s blatantly fake ID anyway.
I apologize for forgetting to bring anything and Katie forgives me enough to link her arm in mine, although she slips it out the second we get to Rex’s front door. It’s Mark Grey that answers and he’s so drunk he doesn’t bother talking to our faces, just our tits.
“Rex is here,” Katie whispers, as we walk in.
I stare at her. “Yes. Rex is here. It’s his house. Where did you think he’d be?”
Katie scowls. “What is it with you? Did you down some bitch pills with your tea? You don’t have to take the piss all the time, you know.”
“Katie, I—” But she’s already huffed off and I think better of shouting, “I’m pregnant!” across a crowded room. All I can see are people I don’t want to talk to and boys I’ve either shagged or who’ve turned me down. I see Tyrone in the other room, surrounded by girls like he’s the star in his own rap video and I see Aaron Tyler standing in a doorway talking to Anj. Although I sit with her and Gideon in French I don’t see as much of Anj as I used to — we go way back — and for the first time in a while I wish things were different. Anj was always easier to talk to than Katie.
Oh God. I can’t do this — any of this. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to escape, but there’s someone else at the front door and I hurry upstairs instead. Maybe there’s somewhere I can be alone, get my head around things, work out what to do next. Why the fuck did I come here? I listen at a couple of the doors, hear the grunts, groans and arguments you’d expect and walk in on Fletch, sprawled, T-shirt rucked up and baring his belly as he snores on the floor. I can’t believe I let him have sex with me.