I shrug. She doesn’t need to thank me.
“One day I’ll be the one coming to your rescue, you know,” she says with a smile.
HANNAH
“You already are,” he says and he ducks his head away as if he doesn’t want me to look too closely. As if he doesn’t want me to see him properly. I think about how many times I’ve laughed at something he’s said — the way I’m tempted to right now — and I wonder if he’s ever really joking at all.
FRIDAY 22ND JANUARY
HANNAH
Mum said that Dad called to speak to me last night before he leaves today, but she followed my instructions to the letter and told him where to go. Apparently he wanted to clear the air. Newsflash, Dad: not happening. The worse things get with everyone else — with Marcy, with Katie, with Dad — the more I realize that it doesn’t matter that Mum isn’t perfect, she’s still my mum and she’s still doing the best she can.
I look down at my tummy. I guess I can identify with that.
Mum isn’t the only one, either. Anj and Gideon are being really nice to me, sitting with me whenever they can (although that still leaves a lot of lessons on my own). Aaron’s amazing too. Always there, just quietly, whenever I need him. I have no idea how this boy ended up in my life, but there will never be a time when I am not grateful for it.
“Hannah Sheppard?” The midwife sticks her head out of her office and I get up, conscious of everyone looking at me still in my school uniform, judging me.
And then my mum’s hurrying down the corridor — a shuffle-run which is the best she can manage in her sensible work shoes.
“I’m here, I’m here, sorry I’m late. Couldn’t find a parking space…”
But it doesn’t matter. She’s here now and that’s all that counts.
AARON
I’ve only just got there when my phone beeps a text.
“I’m dealing today until I master the riffle,” I say as I check my phone, ignoring the tut issued by Neville. He’s saying something about manners, but I’m not really listening.
2nd scan all ok — no idea if boy or grl, had its legs Xed! Thought ud like to no. Hx
She’s right. I do like to know.
SATURDAY 23RD JANUARY
HANNAH
I’m starting to lose my rag over what to wear tonight. I haven’t been out — to the park, to the cinema, to a club, anywhere — since the start of the year and it turns out that all my decent clothes now make me look fat. I know, I’m pregnant and my body’s got to make space for the other person inside me, blah blah blah, but I don’t look pregnant. I just look fat. And my best bra’s starting to dig in, which isn’t improving things.
There’s a pile of clothes on the floor and I want to jump up and down on them and scream, only I’m worried Mum’ll hear and I don’t want her to know. Her answer will be to look at those stupid magazines and suggest I try some of the frumpy bump-friendly fashion that I would only wear if I had a brain transplant. I feel like there’s something wrong with me — I’m supposed to want to be a different person now that I’ve been sperminated, but I don’t. I want to be Hannah, just pregnanter. What’s so wrong with still wanting to look good? With wanting to show off my new improved pregnancy curves in push-up bras and clothes that look teen not tragic? I want people to think Hannah before they think pregnant.
I don’t even know why I’m bothering. It’s only a trip to the cinema with Gideon, Anj and Aaron. Those guys don’t care if I turn up in leggings and a hoodie.
Somehow that thought depresses me even more.
I don’t want to be the only one who cares what I look like.
AARON
Inevitably, I’m the first there. This comes from my father’s innate love of punctuality — which also means that instead of letting me wait for the others in the warm car, he ushers me out as fast as possible so that he can get back home on schedule. He is unsympathetic to the fact that his son has come out without a coat and may well die from hypothermia.
“Your mother and I thought you were capable of dressing responsibly by now.”
And with that, he raises his eyebrows and makes a “hurry up” gesture.
This is the first time I’ve been to the cinema since we moved and I peer into the foyer, wondering whether they sell hot drinks in addition to unseasonable ice cream and slushies. There’s a rush of footsteps behind me and I half turn, ready for trouble, but it’s only an exuberant Gideon, who slams gloved hands on my shoulders and delivers an unnecessary “Boo!”
Anj walks up behind him, looking at her phone.
“She just got a text,” Gideon explains.
“Hannah?” I ask, wondering if Anj got the same text I did about her running late.
“Someone far more exciting…” Gideon snatches the phone, handing it to me as he shouts, “Translate it!” before clamping his arms round a frantic Anj.
It’s in Spanish and I catch the gist before Anj breaks free with a scream and grabs it back, blushing furiously.
“How much did you get?” she says, not meeting my eye as she deletes the message.
“Not much,” I lie. The text contained some distinctly extra-curricular phrases from someone called Felipe. Gideon looks disappointed and I stage-whisper that I’ll tell him later, which causes a bit of a slapping storm between the three of us until it suddenly loses wind. Anj avoids our stares when we turn to look at her.
“So I got a bit carried away with my Spanish penpal.” She glances up and blushes even more. “What?! He’s totally hot. You would.” She nods at Gideon.
“I demand evidence.”
Sighing, Anj opens up Facebook, scrolls down her friends list to Felipe Montes and clicks on his profile. I try unsuccessfully to ignore Gideon as he makes gagging gestures behind Anj’s back, for which he receives a flick on the forehead. When Anj clicks back to her friends list I see a Jason Sheppard listed there.
“Is that Hannah’s stepbrother?” I point, curious.
“Mmm… Jay,” Gideon says, dreamily.
Anj nods. “I’ll second that. In fact, I’ll call shotgun.”
“You mean dibs.”
“That too.” Anj turns to me to explain. “Jay is the most gorgeous person in the whole of this town.”
His profile picture doesn’t look anything out of the ordinary to me.
“I demand evidence.”
The pair of them smile as Anj opens up a page of his photos and Gideon says, “Hottest guy in town. Fact.”
“I thought I was number one?” I joke.
Gideon feigns thought before delivering a dismissive pat on my arm. “You come a close second.”
“For the purposes of reining in your ego, Aaron Tyler, I feel I should inform you that you most certainly do not rank second on my list of hotties,” Anj says as she jabs at the screen, trying to find a suitably pleasing picture of Jay. “No offence.”
Which makes me laugh.
I look at the picture she’s found, but I’m not sure I see what these two can.