Walking through the front door, I check myself in the mirror in the front hall.
Damn, I look good. Screw naked guy outside. I’ve got it going on.
I straighten my hair and smooth the front of my date night shirt that says: I fuck on the first date. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jenny in the mirror and turn around, my eyes bugging out of my head. She’s wearing a short, red strapless dress with her hair piled up on top of her head, and a pair of red, strappy sandals that are so high I’m surprised she can walk in them. She looks so hot I can already feel myself getting a chubby.
“Holy fuck, baby. You look awesome,” I tell her as she walks up to me and smiles.
“Thanks. I haven’t fit into this since before Veronica was born.”
She grabs her purse and we head out the door, my eyes never leaving her ass.
I am so getting lucky tonight.
~
“Oh my gosh, remember that time you went down on me during my cousin’s wedding?” Jenny asks as she finishes off her fourth glass of wine and leans closer to me so our shoulders are touching.
After her second glass of wine, she starts getting chatty, just like old times. Whenever we used to go out before we had Billy, we would always wind up talking about our sex life. We had an amazing sex life. I used to think about Jenny and I doing some sort of seminar for loser married couples who only have sex to get pregnant. I had always thought we would be the best people to teach others about how much fun you could have in the bedroom. We could use props and I could make a flow chart. Listening to her talk about our fun times makes me realize how UN-fun our times have been lately. Hopefully not for much longer.
“Oh my gosh, remember that night we played Monopoly and every time someone landed on Park Place one of us had to have an orgasm?” she asks as she puts her hand on the back of my neck and runs her fingers through my hair.
“That was the best game of Monopoly ever. Didn’t we have to throw the board away because we got ketchup and hot wax all over it?” I ask her, trying not to pant like a dog as her nails lightly scratch the back of my neck.
“Yep. And we had to use nail polish remover to get the play money off of your ass when we played ‘Pin the money on Drew’ with the wax. Best night ever,” she whispers in my ear.
The hard on I’ve had since she had walked out of the bedroom in the red dress is now a full blown state of emergency. One more story about our past sexcapades and I’m going to need to shut this restaurant down, and the waiters will need to put on Hazmat suits.
“What about that time when we first moved in together at your old place when the neighbors used to sell honey at a road side stand in their front yard?” she asks softly close to my ear.
I’m going to come in my pants in three seconds.
I clear my throat and shift in my seat, trying to move Big Drew around a little so I’m not so uncomfortable.
“Ha, they formed a neighborhood watch because they thought there was some huge conspiracy where people were stealing honey to sell it on the black market,” I remember with a laugh.
“I never understood that. Why would they think only black people want honey?” she asks in confusion.
I don’t even think about correcting her because I don’t want anything to ruin this good mood she’s in.
“I wonder how many bottles of honey we actually stole that month. It had to be close to a hundred.”
She smiles and nods, placing a soft kiss on my cheek before pulling back to continue with the memory.
“That last night was a fun night until we spent a little too long on foreplay and the honey started to dry and get sticky. It was like giving you a Brazilian wax to get that stuff off!”
We both laugh and move a little bit away from each other as the waiter comes to our table and steps in between us to place the check on the table.
“I still have that scar on my ass from when you had to help pull me off of the tree. I don’t care though. That was the best blow job ever. Well, aside from the shower one on our first date.”
We sit there quietly for a few minutes staring into each other’s eyes, and I am trying to force all of my thoughts into her head.
You want to bang me, you want to bang me, you want to bang me.
“I want to bang you,” she states.
My brain is an awesome and powerful thing.
I throw all of the money in my wallet down on the table without even looking at the bill. I’m pretty sure I just gave our waiter a seventy percent tip, but I don’t give a fuck. I grab Jenny’s hand and together we run to the exit and out into the parking lot.
~
In hindsight, trying to have sex in our four-door, compact car in our own driveway probably isn't the best idea. But after Jenny spends the fifteen minute drive from the restaurant back to our house with her hand down my pants, rubbing me one second away from orgasm, I can’t even think about opening the car doors and going inside. I turn off the engine, hit the button to move my seat back as far as it will go, grab Jenny around the waist, and haul her over the center console and onto my lap.
With her legs straddling me, I slide my hands up her thighs and push her dress up to her hips, realizing she isn’t wearing any underwear.
“You’re wearing my favorite clear pair of panties,” I tell her as I slide my hands around her hips and onto her bare ass.
“I wore them just for you,” she says with a smile as she leans forward and runs her tongue along my top lip.
I reach between us to unbutton my pants, freeing my dick and feeling quite proud of myself that I too chose to go commando this evening.
With one hand still clutching her ass, I pull her down so I can rub the head of my cock against her. She’s wet and warm and even though she hasn’t shaved down there since before Billy was born, I don’t give a fuck. I love her pussy whether it’s smooth or has a porn bush fro. As I use my hand to glide myself back and forth through her, she starts to move her hips to create more friction, and we both moan against each other’s mouths.
“Fuck, you feel so good, baby. I wanna fuck you like an animal.”
She stops the movement of her hips and pulls her face away from mine.
“Don’t quote Nine Inch Nails when we’re about to have sex. It’s creepy. I don’t want to think about animals having sex. Remember that time we saw my cousin’s dogs having sex? Oh my God, I had nightmares for weeks. I kept dreaming we would have sex and your penis would be stuck inside me until you finish like those stupid dogs,” Jenny complains.
“Sorry, no more animals fucking talk. Let’s just talk about us fucking. Right now. In the car,” I tell her as I move the head of my penis to her opening and push my hips up slightly so I enter her just a little bit.
“Son of Al Sharpton,” I moan as she pushes her body down a little more and I go deeper.
Jenny doesn’t hesitate to slide the rest of the way down on my cock, and I have to squeeze my eyes shut so I don’t blow my load right this second.
She grips onto my hair and yanks me towards her mouth.
“You’re such a dirty whore,” I mutter against her lips.
She stops and pulls back to look at me again. “Eew, don’t say that.”
I look at her in confusion for a minute. She’s always thought that was hot. In the past, she usually begs me to call her a dirty whore. I want my dirty whore!
“It’s just weird. I’m a mom now,” she explains.
“You were a mom the last time I called you a dirty whore,” I complain with a pout.
I know, I know. My penis is finally home and I’m complaining. But you don’t understand! This is our thing! She’s my dirty whore and I’m her big, bad slut.