Jackson comes back over to the table and places a glass in front of each of us.
“Shut up and do your shot!” Liz tells me.
We down our shots, let out a cheer, and Jackson begins our questions.
~
“Alright, for five points, making your score a grand total of forty-five, Drew – what would Jenny say is her favorite place to make love?” Jackson asks.
“VAGINA! IN HER VAGINA!” Drew screams excitedly.
Jackson looks over at me and nods, and I flip over my card for everyone to see my answer.
Jim and Liz groan from their spots on the floor, and Carter and Claire start to laugh while Drew bounces up and down and gives me a high five when he sees the word “vagina” written really big on my card.
“WOOOHOOO! We are kicking ALL of your asses!” Drew shouts as I throw my card down to the discard pile on the floor.
I don’t know why I was so worried about this game. No matter what, Drew and I know each other very well. It doesn’t matter if we aren’t on the same page or even reading the same book. Which we never are anyway because I like romances and Drew only reads the funny pages, and it just occurred to me that that statement is kind of dumb. Who reads the same book at the same time? I takes me months to read a book and other people might read fast. That’s just weird.
Anyway, we were really kicking everyone’s ass and unfortunately, poor Jim wasn’t going to be plowing the back field tonight since he and Liz are currently in last place with only ten points.
“Jim, who did Liz say is better at handling money?” Jackson asks him.
Jim chuckles and finishes off his drink, setting the glass on the coffee table next to him.
“Man, this is an easy one. Me!”
Liz flips her card over and then smacks Jim in the chest with it.
“Are you kidding me? You went to the store two weeks ago and bought seventy-two bottles of Windex. Who the fuck even USES seventy-two bottles of Windex in their entire life?” Liz complains, throwing her card down on the floor.
“IT WAS ON SALE!” Jim yells at her. “I saved money in the long run!”
“We will DIE before even half of that is used. You WASTED money!” Liz yells back.
“Alrighty then, moving on. Carter, for five points, bringing your score up to thirty-five, if you told Claire that tomorrow you would do one item from her ‘Honey-Do List’, what would she pick?” Jackson asks.
Carter leans over and kisses Claire on the cheek and answers confidently, “Install the new sink in the guest bathroom.”
Claire leans away from him and gives him a dirty look before flipping her card over.
“I installed the sink myself three weeks ago. What did I tell you JUST THIS MORNING that you needed to fix before I smothered you in your sleep and set fire to your Sopranos DVD collection?”
Carter leans forward and looks at her card.
“Ohhhhhh, right. Move the heavy bag I hung in the middle of the garage because now you can’t park in there. My bad,” Carter says apologetically.
“Okay, final question and for the win. - Drew, you’ve run out to the corner store late at night to pick up milk. You decide while you’re there to get a treat for Jenny. What did she say you would buy her?” Jackson asks.
I look over at Drew and he looks over at me and we both smile.
“Skittles, Funyons and a Chinese finger trap!” Drew says without looking away from me.
I flip my card over and everyone voices their complaints when they see Skittles, Funyons, and a Chinese finger trap written on my card.
“With fifty points, the winners are Drew and Jenny!” Jackson shouts.
Drew and I both jump up from the couch and start hugging and jumping up and down. Before I know it, his lips are on mine and his hands are pressed against my lower back, pulling my body up against his. I don’t even think twice before sliding my tongue past his lips and swirl it around his. He tastes like whiskey and a hint of the peppermint toothpaste he used earlier, and I want to swallow him whole. I clutch the front of his shirt in my fists and pull him even closer, sucking on his tongue just the way he likes. Drew groans into my mouth, his hands sliding down toward my ass. I bend my knees slightly and prepare to jump up and wrap my legs around his waist when the sound of throats clearing and Jim yelling, “GET A ROOM!” breaks through our haze of lust.
We pull apart, righting our clothes and fixing our hair.
“Now that I’m thoroughly disgusted, tell me what the deal with the Chinese finger trap is,” Carter says as he starts collecting all of the answer cards into one big pile.
“Oh, it’s just this thing we do every once in a while,” Drew explains as he leans down to grab his drink from the table and take a sip. “I put it on my penis and Jenny tries to take it off without using her hands. It gets a little dicey there every once in a while and I’ve gotten some killer paper cuts on my taint, but she gets it off every single time.”
Carter starts howling with laughter and pointing at Drew. “Dude, do you have a teeny tiny weenie?! Those things aren’t any bigger than my pinkie finger!”
Everyone joins in on the laughter, and I pat Drew’s back in sympathy.
“FUCK YOU! THEY COME IN DIFFERENT SIZES!” Drew yells at them.
“Yeah, needle dick and pinky peen!” Jim says with a laugh.
“Jenny, baby, tell them I don’t have a small penis,” Drew wails.
“Oh, he totally doesn’t. I get cock jaw when I give him blow jobs,” I tell them.
“Don’t you mean lock jaw?” Liz asks.
“No, cock jaw. When you’re giving a blow job and you have to open your mouth so wide your jaw cocks,” I explain to them.
“You cock a gun, you don’t cock your jaw,” Claire laughs.
“You don’t lock your jaw either! Who the hell has a lock on their cheek? That’s just stupid. Drew has a big penis. That is a fact.”
Jim shakes his head and smacks Carter in the arm. “You had to ask the story behind the Chinese finger trap. Now my wife is going to have nightmares tonight about those things and jaws with pad locks stuck through them.”
“And my giant penis. Don’t forget my giant penis,” Drew says, looking over at me and beaming proudly.
Chapter 27 – Irish Car Bombs
“Am I dreaming? Somebody pinch me!” Drew exclaims as we walk through the doors of the local strip club, Bare Naked Ladies. “It’s been, one week since you cooked for me. Rocked your head to the side and said I’m hungry.”
Drew’s off-key singing makes everyone groan and tell him to shut up. He’s been singing that song the whole way to the strip club.
“For the love of all that is holy, stop singing that fucking song! Especially if you don’t know the words,” Jim tells him as we all stand in the doorway.
I don’t remember exactly whose idea it was to go to a strip club. After the game, we all had started doing shots and everything got really funny. When someone suggested a strip club, we thought it sounded hilarious. So we had called for a taxi, piled in, and had it take us into town.
“Oh my God, why is the floor sticky?” Liz asks with a disgusted look on her face as she gently picks her foot up and looks at the bottom of her shoe.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Jim asks her as he throws his arm over her shoulder and they lead the way into the club.
Drew and I have been to plenty of strip club’s before so this is old news to us. It’s been a really long time since we’ve been to one though. Just seeing the flashing, colorful lights and hearing the loud music brings back so many good memories, and it makes me sad that things between us have been so strainered lately.
As soon as I have that thought though, I feel Drew’s hand slide into my own and we lace our fingers together, following behind Jim and Liz as they find a table close to the stage and we all take seats.
We won the game! We really do know each other, and I’m starting to forget all of the reasons why I haven’t been in the mood for dirty sex lately. Even though he can act like a big child most of the time, he loves me and he takes good care of me.