“Oh my gosh! Drew, are you okay?” Jenny asks me with concern.
“Fine! Totally fine! Don’t move!” I tell her as I quickly crawl on all fours over to the corner of the room.
I grab onto the swing on either side of Jenny’s thighs and use it to pull me up so I can stand between her legs.
“You’re a dirty, slutty man,” Jenny tells me in a sultry voice.
Oh my God! Oh my God!
I giggle, yes giggle, and start bouncing excitedly on my toes.
“I think you should push me on the swing with your ginormous cock, slutty man,” she tells me as she leans forward, grabs onto my hips, and pulls me closer to her on the swing until my “ginormous cock” is pushing against her entrance.
Porno Jenny! Porno Jenny is back! Hallelujah, praise Paula Abdul, Porno Jenny is back!
She wraps her legs around my hips and uses her thigh muscles to pull me closer, my cock sliding deeper. We both groan and I stop halfway in when I hear creaking.
I whip my head around and shoot a dirty look over my shoulder to the whole room in general.
Stop moving around, ghost! You’re breaking my concentration. If you’re going to watch, do it quietly. AND DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!
I turn my head back around and concentrate on the task at hand. Swinging my dick into my hot wife.
Ha ha! Did I totally just make up an awesome pun or what?!
“Do me hard, you dirty slut,” Jenny whispers.
Oh hell yeah! It’s fucking ON!
I push the rest of the way inside of her heat, and I want to stop and savor the feeling of being back inside my wife but the swing is swaying and causing me to rock my hips against her.
“This swing is fucking awesome!” I tell her as I grab onto her thighs, pull my dick almost all the way out of her, and then slam back home.
Jenny lets out a gasp and throws her arms above her head to grab onto the straps of the swing. I start moving faster and harder, the force of my thrusts causing the swing to really begin swaying from front to back. It’s a little awkward and I have to concentrate on not falling. When the swing moves forward, I have to quickly shuffle my feet and follow it so my dick doesn’t fall out of Jenny. Then, when it swings back, I have to quickly shuffle my feet forwards, or else it’s going to clothesline my thighs, and I’m going to land on my ass on the floor.
I really should have taken my pants all the way off. This shit is hard! Ooooh, another pun right there, motherfuckers!
I’m basically waddling back and forth with the motion of the swing while at the same time, thrusting my hips in and out of Jenny. It’s like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time.
“Oh yes! Faster, faster!” Jenny screams.
Oh my God, the pressure! If I go any faster this swing is going to take me out at the knees! I need to make this swing my bitch and show it who’s boss.
I plant my feet as wide apart as I can with my jeans still wrapped around my ankles, let go of Jenny’s thighs, and wrap my hands around the straps that hang from the ceiling to stop the swing from swaying so much. It takes a minute to get it to stop, and I have to arch my back as far as I can, raise one of my knees, and push it against Jenny’s ass under the swing to finally get it to stop moving.
“Yes! Keep doing that! Rub my ass with your knee, you whore!” Jenny shouts.
I am nothing if not attentive to my wife’s needs right now, so I do as she asks. I hold onto the swing straps with both hands, lean back, keep my leg up, and rub my knee back and forth against her ass under the swing and keep moving my hips, thrusting in and out of her.
Jenny is moving her hips and pushing against me as I bang the hell out of her while trying to keep the swing in place. Around her moans of pleasure I hear another loud creak and I roll my eyes.
Seriously, ghost. Cut that shit out. I know you’re there; you don’t need to advertise it. Keep it down while you ghostly masturbate over there!
“I’m sorry I ever said anything about your vagina being floppy. It’s totally not like fucking a sloppy joe at all! You feel so good baby!” I tell her as I continue to pound into her, sweat breaking out on my forehead with all the things I have to remember to do to keep the swing in place.
“Call me a tramp!” Jenny shouts as she lets go of the grip she has on one of the swing straps, slides her hand down the front of her body, and starts moving her fingers against her clit.
Fuck, best day ever! Even with the pervy ghost in the corner and my arm and leg muscles threatening to give out.
“WHO’S MY TRAMP?! WHO’S MY DIRTY HOOKER TRAMP?!” I shout as I pick up the pace and slam into her harder while her fingers move furiously over her clit.
“ME! ME! I’M YOUR DIRTY HOOKER TRAMP! PAY ME, BIG DADDY, PAY ME!” she shouts.
“I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU A SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT TIP, YOU DIRTY WHORE!”
“YES! YES! GIVE ME THE TIP! GIVE ME THE TIP!” Jenny screams.
I know she’s only a second away from coming which is a damn good thing because I can’t hold off any longer. My balls are about to explode like a fucking geyser.
“I’M GOING TO GIVE YOU A TIP AND LEAVE YOU SOME MINTS! YOU WANT SOME FUCKING MINTS, YOU LITTLE SLUT?!” I yell in excitement as she tightens her thighs around my waist, and I feel her orgasm rush through her and squeeze my cock like a vise.
“OH MY GOD! GIVE ME THE MINTS! OH FUCK, I’M COMING! MINTS, MINTS, MINTS! YES, YES!”
She’s thrashing her head and bucking her hips against me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop the swing from swaying, so I just hold on tight to the straps and thrust into her with all I’ve got, feeling my own orgasm tingle through my balls. I hear another creak, this one louder than all the others.
“YOU LIKE THAT, GHOST? HUH?! YOU LIKE BEING A PERVY CREEPER, JERKIN’ YOUR GHOSTLY GHERKIN?” I shout into the corner of the room.
Just as my orgasm barrels up through me and I start coming, I feel a hand on my ass and scream as loud as I can in fear while still plunging in and out of Jenny.
“EEEEEEEK! I’M COMING! HOLY SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN, I’M COMING AND THERE’S A GHOST TOUCHING MY ASS!”
Mid orgasm, I reach back to swat the ghost’s hand off my ass and hear another creak, followed by a loud ripping sound and this orgasm feels so fucking good right now that I’m not really concerned with the fact that the pervert poltergeist is making so much noise.
While smacking my hand on my ass to keep the ghost away from it, I thrust as hard as I can one last time and the orgasm finishes so good it almost feels like I’m falling.
“OW! SON OF A BITCH!” Jenny screams.
I open my eyes and quickly realize that feeling of falling really was a feeling of falling. I’m sprawled on top of Jenny on the floor with my penis still buried in her and bits and pieces of our ceiling littered in chunks all around us. I reach up and wipe a bunch of white dust off of Jenny’s face and hair, and she ruffles her hand through my hair, dust and debris falling down onto her chest.
I crane my neck and look up at the giant hole in our ceiling.
“Wow, guess I should have secured that a little better, huh?”
Jenny just laughs and wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me down to her lips.
“Let’s do it again. Go get the Skittles in the kitchen, a wooden spoon, and two containers of purple Play-Doh.”
Chapter 29 – Vagina Skittles
“Um, Whitney Houston, we have a problem.”
Jenny sits up on her elbows and stares down at me lying on my stomach between her legs with my face resting on her hipbone.
“Problem? What problem? I was almost there, keep going,” she complains, letting her head fall back to the pillows.
“Yeah, and that would be the problem. I can’t keep going, they’re stuck.”