Nathalie clutched the doll against her chest when her mother appeared in her room with a twisted, crazed look in her face. “I told you to wait for me in my room. We are going to Aunt Emma’s.”
“Mommy, I want to wait for Daddy.”
“I won’t say it again, brat. Move.”
“I don’t want to go to Aunt Emma’s. Daddy promised me he will put me to sleep.”
“Your father makes promises he can’t keep, Nathalie.” Heather’s laughter chilled Nathalie, but she was too afraid of her mother to disobey. “Besides, he has more important things to do than to think about you.”
The little girl’s eyes filled with tears as she followed her mother to her parents’ room and laid on the bed, smelling her father’s perfume on the pillow. The scent lulled her to sleep while Heather packed a suitcase with clothes for the two of them.
Ells Hall.
Friday, March 19th, 2010.
11.36 p.m.
Heather! Oh, no! Heather’s ghost is about to enter the room. Sophia sat up abruptly, moving away from his body, her eyes wide, her lips parted in surprise, nausea making her stomach roll.
Alistair scrutinized her face. “You don’t want to know?” His question was almost a statement such was the wariness he saw on her face.
Sophia bit her lower lip and twisted a lock of her long hair around her index finger, in doubt. “I’ll be right back.”
She jumped from the bed and picked up her long wrap, walking to the bathroom. She leaned her hands on the sink. Do I want to know? She blinked slowly. Deep inside she knew that all the dark shadows she had glimpsed on Alistair’s face were going to surface. Nothing can be that bad.
When she returned to the bedroom moments later, her face was perfectly composed. She had erected up an emotional shield, but fear still lingered in the depths her eyes. She stopped at the end of the bed and hesitated. A sudden desire to flee from the room made her lightheaded. She gripped her cold hands to hide their trembling.
“Come here,” Alistair whispered the order, stretching his hand.
Sophia took his hand and sat on the edge of the bed, facing him, “Tell me your story.”
“As I was saying, I met Heather for the first time at the Christmas party. I was already a minor partner at the bank. I was twenty-five and she was twenty-nine. I was stupid and young and in awe of her. She was... more beautiful than Emma.” If there is any beauty on them.
“We worked in different departments, so she eluded me for some time. I was a rising star at the bank, but still only a beginner. I worked hard, made a few brilliant deals and was very good at politics. In April 2001, I was promoted to financial director and moved to her department. I bought more shares of the bank that month.” He smiled bitterly. “My status then changed. I wasn’t a minor partner anymore. A week later, I found an envelope on my desk with my name on it. Inside it I found a photo of her with an explicit invitation, and address and a key. You know...”
Uh? What? “No, I don’t.”
“She asked me to fuck her. In those terms.”
The air left Sophia’s lungs and she stammered, “Par-pardon?”
“She was never coy. She stated directly what she wanted. No-” He interrupted himself.
Slowdowns? Sophia was mortified. “God. You must have found my request when we started going out ridiculous.”
“Would you believe me if I said it was refreshing? You are special, mo chridhe.” He hugged her and kissed her hair, lost in his bad memories. If you’d asked me for another month, I would have waited.
“Then?” she coached, quietly.
“Her invitation went to my head, as you can imagine. Everyone at the bank wanted Heather. They pursued her incessantly and she invited me - me! - to her apartment. Well, to be brief-”
A morbid fascination possessed her. “Ah-ah! Now, I want details.” Sophia voice was deceptively soft, but she was restless. She had to understand the full story.
“Sophia, it was a kind of drug addiction. It’s not a pretty story.” Careful, Alistair Connor. You’re going to scare her away. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, introduce me to Mr. Hyde and his bed-partner. Let me be the judge.”
Counselor, your opinion about me is going to change if I tell you everything. “Heather was... insatiable. She wore me out every night and every morning, and at the weekends, we spent the whole day fucking. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was... sick. I didn’t even make the first move. I didn’t have to suggest things. Nothing was too much. Nothing was enough. It was a hell of a relationship. She aimed to please and to be pleased. She moved in with me at the end of the third month. I lived in a permanent state of arousal. I didn’t know if she would corner me in my office or in the men’s toilet for a quickie or what was going to happen at night. She usually went home earlier than me and prepared... You know.”
“Well, I don’t. Maybe she cooked dinner for you,” she mocked but immediately regretted it. This is serious, Sophia.
He sighed. “She never cooked for me, Sophia. She ordered takeaway or microwaved whatever I grabbed at the supermarket.”
“Alistair. It seems my... sexual education - or my imagination - is lacking.” Sophia’s strained her voice to mask her curiosity. “Please, explain.”
Don’t push, Sophia. You’re not going to like it. “I fucked her in every position and any time or place. In the car; during a bank formal dinner in the men’s toilet. Even in public, in the sea.” In a threesome; with her sister; with her friends...
What? Is it wrong to do it in the car? “How?” Her voice was shocked. “You are not a quiet lover.” Do you think it’s wrong to do it in different positions?
“You may recall, I can control myself if needed,” he said, watching her face closely as a strange look appeared in her widened eyes.
Oh, damn! He’s comparing us.
“I am not comparing, Sophia. Never.” He sighed. Stupid move, Alistair Connor. “I thought she was hot, Sophia. I couldn’t have been more mistaken. You, with your innocence, are so much more.”
“But what was so wrong?”
“Everything you can imagine.” And things I’ll never tell you. Ashamed, he looked at yellow-orange flames in the hearth. “You don’t want to know.” Threesomes, toys, S&M, bondage and some other things. “Suffice it to say that she liked things rough.”
What? I do too. “But... I...”
He shook his head interrupting her thoughts. “Not the kind that you like. Violent, degrading things.” He noticed Sophia’s eyes growing gradually huge.
“And you?” she whispered.
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Did you like those things?”
Alistair gazed at Sophia for a moment. “Some of these things I had already tried and liked.” S&M was a bit harsh but I grew used to it. “I like a bit of violence,” he shrugged, “I’ve told you before.”
You’ll have to explain this better later, Alistair Connor. She lifted her head to get a better look at his eyes. “I don’t understand... You like those strange things and still you list a quickie in the car with... things that are wrong?”
“Nae, Sophia. I don’t think a quickie in the car is wrong, no.” He shook his head again and cleared his throat. “What was wrong was the exhibitionist and detached character of the situation she put us through.”