He wanted everything to be perfect. He felt himself blushing. And this is ridiculous. I don’t blush. “Just the two of us. We can eat what we like. I will take the rest back to the house.”
He took a chilled bottle of champagne from the basket.
“Hmm, champagne. And a 1928 Krug.” She smiled mischievously at him. “You must want something.”
“I’ll always want something with you, Beauty. Always,” he retorted as he sat by her side on the blanket and dropped his head to kiss her.
Sophia was lying on the blanket smiling dreamily at the way the soft breeze tousled the leaves, almost dozing. It was one of the most enjoyable lunches they’d ever shared. Her view was suddenly replaced by Alistair’s smiling face, his emerald green eyes reflecting the happiness she felt.
“What?” she lazily asked. Sunlight shone through the leaves and danced on Alistair’s hair, making it sparkle with midnight blue strands, creating a startling contrast with his lightly tanned skin and green eyes, enthralling her more than anything else.
“What did you find in the sky that put that dreamy look on your face?” he smiled.
“You,” she answered. “This idilic place. Everything.”
The wildlife surrounding her made her feel romantic. She looked into his smiling eyes and whispered, “In spite of everything that’s happened, sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming.” She combed his bangs with her fingers and rested her palm on his cheek, “Am I?”
“I don’t know.” His smile widened. “What is your dream about?”
“Uh,” she said coyly, “if you don’t know, I can’t tell you.”
“Do you want to know what I dream about?” As she nodded, he continued, “I dream about you, about us and about us three, Gabriela, you and I. I dream about spending my whole life with you.” He inhaled profoundly and launched, “Sophia, will you marry me?”
What? Time stood still. Her mouth opened, but no sound came. She was astounded.
“Marry me. I will be the happiest man in the world.”
“But... I-I-” she stuttered and sucked in air. “We’ve only been together a few weeks. Don’t you think it’s too soon to talk about this?”
“Time is too valuable, Beauty. I realized it when Nathalie died and I thought I had lost everything. We live in a countdown. We can’t afford to waste a second, Sophia.” His face fell. “I didn’t think you would mind the short time we’ve been together. You married-” He interrupted himself and fell silent as evil thoughts churned in his mind. He sat with his back to her. She will say no. She wants kids that I can’t possibly give her. I’m much older than her. Fuck! But what is she thinking? It’s not every day she will find a man like me.
She understood his half finished sentence. “I was young. I didn’t have Gabriela then. I had nothing to lose. I... Gabriel was already thirty. We... I...” She shook her head. He is right. I didn’t mind marrying Gabriel only six months after we’d started going out and I was madly happy with him.
“Alistair Connor. Please look at me,” Sophia whispered and touched his back. He turned to look at her over his shoulder. She licked her lips and bit the lower one. Say it, Sophia.
Alistair watched her mouth, entranced by its erotic movements. How he longed to feel them moving over his body, kissing him, licking him, sucking him. She had the power to be his salvation and he was proposing to her. Willingly, after he thought he would never marry again. “I’m already thirty-five. We have both been married. It would just be a formality.” Ach! Alistair Connor MacCraig! Just a formality?
But it seemed the perfect arrangement for him. This way his craving to have her in his bed every night, at his table every morning, and in his arms whenever he wanted would be satisfied. His eyes roamed over her. He longed to run his tongue over her collarbone, kissing his way to her supple breasts and make love to her under the old oak.
Alistair scowled down at his erection. Control yourself, cock. I’m proposing here. He curled his fingers under her chin, making her look into his eyes and started again.
“Sophia. I love you.” He kissed her lips and whispered, “No one can make me happier than you do. I know I will never find someone I love as much as you. And Gabriela... I would care for her and love her as if she were my own daughter.” He sighed. “You. You are my soul mate. Our marriage was plotted by the angels in Heaven the day we met.”
Oh, my. She gaped at him and quickly looked away toward the bluebell carpet, making a huge effort not to grab onto him and believe in everything he was saying, words that were so beautiful and so amazing, if only they could always be true. She played with the edge of the blanket and watched the sun play hide and seek in his hair as she thought about the last few months.
Sophia knew Alistair was beyond amazing as a lover, sometimes wild and animalistic, other times tender and reverent. He was clever and intelligent. He had a unique and strange sense of honor, sometimes a bit possessive, but, nonetheless, he was a man of principles and morals. And he clearly loved Gabriela. But does he love me enough to live with my ghosts? Do I love him enough to live with his?
“Sophia?” he beckoned quietly with a light caress under her chin.
Every fiber in Alistair’s body and mind commanded him to kiss her, to devour her. But he didn’t want her response to be clouded by lust. He held his breath, his heart beating so fast that he could hear the pounding in his ears, and waited.
“Alistair Connor, I-” Sophia, your name means wisdom. Be wise, at least once and ponder. No, Sophia, be selfish and accept. She shooed the thoughts away and with a bleeding heart, breathed, “No.”
He was caught unawares by the short word. Alistair clamped his lips shut to stop the gasp that surely would have escaped, as a sharp pain jabbed his gut.
She has said... nae? NAE? “Nae?” he repeated in disbelief. It would appear that God has not finished punishing me. For in you, Sophia, I have found my salvation and my damnation.
Sophia shook her head slowly and lowered her eyelids; she couldn’t bear the pained and surprised look on his face.
Alistair swallowed hard. Unconsciously he drew himself up, straighter, taller, colder, bracing himself for the next blow. His face assumed a nonchalant look.
Dammit! “No, I’m not rejecting you,” she whispered. The tightness in her throat was overwhelming, making it almost impossible to swallow or breathe. She smoothed out her skirt, trying to smooth away the dread that was accumulating inside her. “I like your company. I appreciate your way of living and thinking, even though we are still getting to know each other. I care for you. Very much.” I... I love you, I do, but I’m afraid. There’s too much to consider, too many changes, too many secrets. Not enough time together. She was feeling confused from all the considerations swarming her mind. She inhaled slowly and traced his commitment ring. “It’s just that... I need some time to think about it.” Sophia, you are so stupid. You should have said yes from the beginning. She enlaced her fingers with his and looked up to stare in his eyes. The green was almost gone, but his face was expressionless. “Please, don’t be angry,” she asked softly. “Please?”
“I’m not angry, I’m hurt. But I will wait, Sophia. And you will say yes. I know you will. You will be my wife,” Alistair nodded. They were silent for a while and then Alistair spoke, changing subjects. “The vet told me Avenger is nervous,” he said absentmindedly, as he twirled a lock of her hair around his finger.