As they rejoined the ladies, Mr. Collins succeeded in further astonishing those around him by approaching Darcy and requesting a private conference with him.
“You cannot be serious, Mr. Collins. I have nothing further to say to you tonight on any subject.” His reply was barely civil and his features filled with a cold disdain that would have easily deterred a more discerning man. Darcy quickly turned his attention back to Elizabeth, but Mr. Collins stood his ground and continued his assault.
“But my dear Mr. Darcy,” he continued in an urgent, slightly amplified voice, “as a clergyman, and particularly one who has pledged my undying bond of allegiance to your own, most respectable aunt, I feel it is my holy duty to point out to you the particular evils of such lustful pursuits as you have so recently engaged in, for it has been my keen observation that you, sir, have not been the first illustrious gentleman to have been led astray by the wiles of a woman. My heart, in any case, goes out to you, for your lamentable weakness in succumbing, and most unconsciously I might add, to the forbidden lures of the flesh.”
There were horrified gasps, and then the entire room fell into uncomfortable silence. The void was filled again, and quickly, by Mr. Collins. “Furthermore,” he continued, “though my fair cousin does have innumerable temptations at her disposal, which have, undoubtedly, served to benefit her most advantageously in this nefarious ensnarement, I feel, and am certain, beyond any doubt, my most generous and condescending patroness will agree with me when I say that, as an unsuspecting victim of this cruel and artful ploy to capture your favor, not only, Mr. Darcy, are you truly not at fault for indulging in such a natural indiscretion such as this, but you are most certainly to be pitied and prayed for to our merciful God in Heaven and not to be held accountable in the least for any breach of faith in your otherwise honorable and dutiful intentions toward your cousin, Miss Anne de Bourgh of Rosings Park.” He finished this speech with what he apparently believed to be a subservient smile before bowing.
It was, by far, too much. “You forget yourself, sir!” Darcy’s furious voice filled the quiet drawing room, resonating off the walls and causing Mr. Collins to cringe. Raising himself to his full height, he took several threatening steps toward the clergyman, who, it appeared, had finally acquired sense enough to retreat several faltering steps in the opposite direction.
“Until now,” Darcy said in a dangerous voice, “I have endured your preposterous impositions, your tiresome meddling, your baseless slander, and your outrageous insults! You flatter yourself, Mr. Collins, with your gross assumptions, not only in presuming yourself superior enough in situation and rank to dare to speak on behalf of my aunt and my cousin, but by your insufferable presumption that you could possibly have any knowledge of my heart, my mind, and my desires. There is but one other person aside from myself, and one person only, who is privy to such information, sir, and you have unjustly insulted her at every turn and in a most offensive manner in her own father’s home. You will take the opportunity now to apologize to my future wife, and if I ever learn of your leveling another insult at her for any reason, make no mistake, Mr. Collins, it will become my mission in life to see you live to regret it.”
Mr. Collins was not remiss in his apology to Elizabeth, making use of all the eloquence in his possession as he groveled before her, begging her forgiveness for his crimes. Whether he truly meant it was another matter entirely.
By this time Darcy had long since had enough, and making his apologies to Mr. and Mrs. Bennet for losing his temper in their drawing room, he took his leave, but not before exchanging a private, lengthy, and somewhat emotional good-night talk with Elizabeth.
It was not until Darcy was safely removed from Longbourn that Mrs. Bennet happened to recall several words from the heated exchange with Mr. Collins in which Darcy had referred, most definitely, to Elizabeth as his future wife. Upon receiving confirmation of this, both from her husband and her daughter, she reacted in very much the only way she was accustomed to responding to such happy news. Her raptures were so effusive that none in attendance were in any doubt of her joy of the impending event, which could be heard all the way to Meryton and, very likely, well beyond.
Chapter 11
After receiving such a set-down from Darcy, and after indulging in a fair amount of reflection, Mr. Collins was finally forced to concede what had become painfully obvious to everyone else in the house—he could no longer expect to receive the proper distinction and respect he believed his due by remaining any longer at Longbourn; thus, he quitted his cousin’s house at first light the following morning and hastened to Lucas Lodge, where he would remain until his departure for Hunsford several days hence.
Rather than riding over to Longbourn and braving the effusions of Mrs. Bennet after spending what he had deemed to be an exceptionally trying day in that house not twelve hours earlier, Darcy suggested to Bingley that they extend an invitation to the two eldest Miss Bennets, entreating them to spend the afternoon and evening at Netherfield instead. Declaring it an excellent idea, and quite wishing they had thought of it a good deal sooner, Bingley wasted no time dispatching a footman with his carriage and a note to Jane.
Just as the ladies were making ready to leave, Charlotte arrived. “Lizzy!” she called out as she hurried toward them.
“Charlotte! It is good to see you,” she said with a smile and an affectionate embrace. “We are to dine today at Netherfield and were just about to depart.”
Charlotte’s expression, which her friend had thought appeared somewhat troubled, became even more so. “I am glad, then, to have caught you, Elizabeth. I am afraid I have some rather distressing news to relate that I would not wish you to hear from another source. Indeed, it cannot wait.”
Elizabeth and Jane looked at her quizzically. Taking Elizabeth’s hands, Charlotte revealed that it concerned Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.
“Me and Mr. Darcy? Charlotte, I cannot possibly imagine what could be so distressing about any news concerning us.”
“I am sure you are aware of Mr. Collins’s hasty removal this morning to Lucas Lodge?”
Elizabeth and Jane nodded their assent.
“You must also be well acquainted, then, with his immense displeasure on the subject of Mr. Darcy and the strength of that gentleman’s attachment to you.”
Again, both sisters nodded.
“Elizabeth, Mr. Collins is extremely indignant. He has claimed Mr. Darcy has gone against the express wishes of his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh—and, perhaps—his entire family by entering into an engagement with you. From what I have been told, Mr. Darcy has a prior understanding with Lady Catherine’s daughter.”
Jane gasped, and though she felt a moment of panic at the mention of Darcy’s family, Elizabeth only scowled and said in a bitter voice, “Yes, that is what Mr. Collins has accused him of, Charlotte, but I can assure you any claim of that sort is untrue. There was never any understanding between Mr. Darcy and Miss de Bourgh. Mr. Darcy informed me himself that it was merely the fanciful whim of Lady Catherine and nothing more.”
“I confess I am relieved to hear it. Please understand I do not doubt you, Elizabeth, nor do I doubt Mr. Darcy’s integrity as a gentleman, but Mr. Collins has taken the liberty of relating all the particulars as he is acquainted with them, not only to myself, but to my father, my mother, and my entire family—and all within earshot of the servants. Tomorrow morning he means to leave for Kent to inform Lady Catherine of Mr. Darcy’s engagement, and that is not all, I fear. I hesitate to mention the rest.”