Twelve

'You saw it happen?'

'Oh yes.'

'And you did nothing to help Foma?'

'Why should I? It wasn't worth risking my life. Dmitry believed that I would come and rescue Foma, but he really didn't understand. As I said to you, even a vampire would not risk his life to save another vampire. I take it, then, that you've seen Dmitry. Is he here with you?'

'No, he's not here,' I replied. 'Just tell me, Iuda. How do you plan to escape?'

He deliberately misinterpreted the question. 'Well, as far as I understand it, Napoleon's move to the south is a feint. Already Tchitchagov has set out to follow him on the far bank of the Berezina, and Kutuzov will soon be heading that way too.'

Although it wasn't what I had been trying to find out, it was vital information nonetheless. I followed the line that Iuda had begun. 'Whereas Bonaparte's real plan is what?' I asked.

'Ah!' said Iuda with a smile. 'See how the wily interrogator tricks his quarry into revealing all!' He leaned forward and winked with an air of conspiracy. 'Between you and me, Lyosha, he's found a ford, upstream at a place called Studienka. It'll still need bridging of course, but it should get them across.'

'Get him across,' I responded cynically.

'How do you mean?'

'There's not much of the Grande Armée left compared with what came. Thirty thousand out of half a million? It's about the emperor, not the army now.'

'And why not? Napoleon is a great man.'

'You think so?'

'He makes my life a lot easier.'

'So Dmitry was quite wrong. You were never on our side?' I asked, feeling more vindicated than shocked by the proposition.

'Not at all. If Napoleon had defeated Russia it would have meant French hegemony over the whole of Europe. And that would have meant peace – a peace you and I would have despised for different reasons, but nonetheless inimical to both of our lifestyles. True, there would still be war with Britain, but I've never been much use at sea.'

'So you just always support the underdog?'

'I like to help maintain the balance of power.'

'So now you switch sides to France when she is weak?'

'Exactly.'

'How long have you been doing this?' I asked with genuine curiosity. 'How many times have you switched sides? How many wars have you tried to perpetuate for your own ends?' I was prevaricating unnecessarily. 'What I mean is, Iuda, when did you become a vampire?'

'An interesting question,' he replied, but one which he was not going to answer.

I had not noticed it begin, but as our conversation paused, I heard that the few birds which for some reason chose to remain in the trees during the winter months had begun their daily song.

The pre-dawn dark blue of the sky was only just becoming visible, but already they had noticed it and reacted to it. I felt a little sorry. There was so much more that I wanted to ask of Iuda and discover from him, but I could not afford to be sentimental. I could so easily learn to regret any opportunity for survival that I might offer him.

'Might I be allowed to smoke?' he asked politely.

I could see no harm in it. I shouted to the guard, 'Have you got a pipe? Or a cigar?' He came over and handed me a cigar. It was a thin, withered offering – much like the man who offered it – made à l'Espagnole, with just paper to wrap it. It was possibly all he had. I gave a coin in exchange, paying – in my sympathy for his instinctive willingness to hand over even his personal possessions at a senior officer's behest – a similar price to that I would have received during my days as a tobacco vendor in occupied Moscow.

Again Iuda eyed the guard, looking for a chance to flee. I lit the cigar from the fire and offered it to Iuda. He gestured to me with his bound hands and gave an expression of humble entreaty. I placed the cigar between my lips and then cut his hands free with his own knife, before handing the cigar to him. His feet were still tied, and I had the guards with me. Besides, it would soon be dawn and Iuda would be no more threat to anyone. I felt safe.

'Thank you,' he said, inhaling deeply. I sat back down and threw the knife once again into the snow between my feet. Knowing that time was short, I searched my brain for any other questions I could put to him. One immediately occurred to me.

'How was it that you managed to get from Kurilovo back to Moscow so quickly?'

'By horse,' he answered simply. 'The same as you.'

'But it took me eight hours, and you got there ahead of me.'

'Well, I left before you did.'

'What I mean is,' I asked, annoyed that he was, quite sincerely, missing my point, 'how did you travel in daylight?'

'Ah, I see. One of the many curses that the vampire must put up with. I often wonder whether there are any advantages to it at all.'

'The immortality, surely,' I said. It was Domnikiia's voice that had put it in my head.

'Ideally, yes, but not in practical terms. Did Pyetr prove to be immortal? Or Matfei? And what about that boy – Pavel? His vampire existence spanned only a few weeks. Vampires are so easy to kill.'

'I've not found it so easy.'

'Oh, you have, Lyosha! Once you know what to do. And even if you don't, the daylight thing must be a misery. Thousands must die by accident just because someone happens to open the curtains.' He failed to conceal the smirk that broke on his face, pleased at his own ridicule.

'So why do people willingly choose that path?' I asked.

'As you say, some are fools who do it for the immortality. Others do it for the liberty.'

' Liberty?'

'Yes, liberty. I doubt vampires have any desire for equality and I know that they have no conception of fraternity, but isn't liberty what all men seek?'

It was as though he had been reading my mind as I had lain beside Domnikiia, waiting to join her in that world of immoral immortality. Still I was compelled to hear what Iuda had to say – to understand what the appeal was that could turn a man willingly into a monster. ' Liberty from what?' I asked.

'Most men want liberty from many different things, but all seek – and few achieve – liberty from themselves. That is what the man who drinks the warm, fresh blood of a vampire seeks. That is what I too have found – to be unconstrained by conscience or by God – to revel in the ultimate pleasure that lies in the pain of others, both as its witness and its instigator, without the clammy undertow of one's own… sentiment.' He spoke the final word as though it tasted of rotting fish, then he smiled. 'You of all people, Lyosha, know that.'

He glanced pointedly at the scars on my left hand as he spoke, but I knew that he could not be aware how much his words rang true.

'And that makes becoming a vampire worthwhile?' I asked, both fascinated and repelled by what he had said.

He paused and bent his head forward. Its shadow, long and distorted in the low sun behind him, reached as far as my feet.

'I don't know,' he said wearily. 'There are so many restrictions – so much that they must miss out on. The desire to kill is so much intermingled with the desire to eat – much like in humans. The first kill of the night delights both predilections, but as they become less hungry, they also lose (to an extent) the urge to kill. By surfeiting, the appetite sickens. How much better it is to separate the two; to eat for hunger and to kill for pleasure. Do you hunt, Lyosha?'

'Occasionally,' I said.

'Then perhaps you will understand what I mean. More than that, though, there are straightforward, mechanical problems that make the life of a vampire so unappealing. For instance, have you ever considered, Lyosha, that a vampire can never look into the eyes of his victim as life departs? You can, and I'm sure you have. You know the experience of seeing a man's face as, thanks to you, he breathes his last. Whether you count it as a pleasure or not, you know the experience. A vampire must bite at the neck, and so can never take that pleasure.

'Now, with my knife…' He leaned forward, casting his cigar aside, and reached forward for the knife. I was so enthralled by what he was saying and his movement was so appropriate to the conversation, that I almost let him. Only at the last moment did I kick his hand to one side. He sat back upright and raised his palms to me in apology. The guard I had spoken to glanced towards us at the movement, but did nothing.