Chapter Nine
Harper was waiting for him. She'd gone to Mick like she had been told. Like a good little girl. It made her spitting mad to be out from under her father's thumb and following the orders of a different man. So she'd hung around a few minutes until Mick's bright gaze finally focused back onto his work, and then she'd sneaked out.
Which was surprisingly harder than it sounded. She liked watching him.
Jonas had farmed her off to Mick a few times, so she'd had time to observe him with his patients. Some he was kind and gentle with, his voice soft and soothing. Others he was just as obnoxious an alpha as Jonas, bullying soldiers until they allowed treatment or examination.
She went to her place, knowing eventually Jonas would come looking for her. If she weren't careful, he'd order her around, and because against her better judgment she felt safe with him, she'd follow. She'd do it blindly, with no explanations from him, and she knew that was just wrong. He wasn't supposed to be keeping her in the dark. She couldn't explain how she knew that, but she did.
What would it take, though? To throw him off balance enough he opened up?
To shake him enough he took her seriously? Sighing, she walked to her room. Found her backpack and tossed it on the bed. She couldn't think of a thing. He was just so…Jonas. An immovable force of nature.
How the hell did Mick handle him? She scowled as she moved to the closet and started pulling her few belongings off hangers. She left the things Liza and other women in the pack had given her. When it was all out, she moved to the dresser and did the same.
Then she realized Mick didn't have much more of a handle on Jonas than she did. How many times had she seen him and Jonas interact and nothing but frustration and sadness in Mick's eyes when Jonas turned away? Sucking in a deep breath, she stopped packing and sat on the bed, struck by new knowledge. She wasn't the problem. Mick wasn't the problem.
Jonas, on the other hand… She appreciated that he was a dominant male.
Hell, she liked it. But even a dominant male had to let loose with the people he loved, right? Caleb and Zach didn't seem to have that problem with Liza.
She shoved the rest of her things into the pack and opened the back door.
Okay, Liza didn't have the same problem with her mates, but that didn't mean it had always been that way, right? Dropping the pack just inside the kitchen door, she stepped out, tipped her head back to enjoy the afternoon sun before setting off.
She needed advice, and she couldn't imagine anyone better than her cousin to seek it from.
When she walked up the stairs of the alpha's house, she didn't sense Liza inside. She hesitated but knocked anyway. She'd turned, given up on any answer when it was pulled open with an abrupt “yes?”
“Zach. Is Liza around?” Why did she ask? She already knew the answer.
“Sorry, little one. It's just me.” He gave her a teasing smile and opened the door wide. “Come in. Want a beer? It's five o'clock somewhere, right?” She laughed. “Yes, it is. And yes, I want one.” She followed him to the kitchen and sat at the long table when he motioned. A second later he handed her a cold Coors Light.
“What brings you here?”
She shrugged. He was male and huge and outranked Jonas. He scared her as much as he comforted her. His hand covered hers.
“Harper?”
“I don't know what I'm doing,” she confessed in a soft whisper. “I thought it was just me, but I think he might be just as bad with Mick.” She clapped a hand over her mouth. This was their beta. She shouldn't be talking to him about their private relationships.
With a small smile, he pulled his hand away.
“You aren't betraying anyone, Harper,” he said gently. “Jonas is hard to handle.”
She bristled. Okay, fine. He was an obnoxious jerk, but he was her obnoxious jerk, damn it. But Zach was just trying to help. She took a deep breath.
“I don't know what to do. Part of me just wants to say all or nothing. Pick.” Zach laughed. “Might be the best way.”
“An ultimatum? Even if he gave in, he'd never forgive me.”
“This kind of ultimatum?” She swiveled to see Jonas standing in the doorway, her backpack held up in his hand. “Going somewhere, darlin'?” Jonas watched her swallow, the motion as exaggerated as her fear. Good. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this fucking pissed. Bad enough she'd packed to leave him, but to find her with another man? Even knowing Zach was totally committed to Liza didn't soothe the sting of that betrayal. She'd gone to another person, another man for advice? He felt fur under his flesh. Claws poking through his skin.
She stood and faced him, gingerly took one step forward. He clenched his fists and felt skin break. She should be running like hell. He was losing control. But she kept coming closer. Her hand lifted to rest on the side of his face.
“I'm not afraid of you,” she whispered.
“You should be.”
She trembled and nodded her head. “Yeah. Probably.”
He wrapped an arm around her back and pulled her close, glaring at Zach over her head. “Interfering again?”
Zach gave him a hard look. “I'm taking care of a member of the pack. You'd do the same.”
That got through to him as nothing else would have. Protecting, caring for the needs of others was in his makeup. It was the emotional shit he had problems with.
Not being able to deal with that was going to cost him both Mick and Harper if he weren't careful. The only reason it hadn't cost him Mick yet was the man was stubborn as hell. But it wasn't fair to either of them, and Jonas knew it.
With a nod at Zach, he led her outside, taking her hand as he urged her down the porch steps. “Where were you going to run to?” She glanced over at him, but he couldn't read her expression. “I wasn't running exactly. I thought I'd take a few days in town. Think things over.” Right. She was running. He couldn't, wouldn't let her do that. “Look. I know I'm hard to live with.”
His confession startled a laugh out of her. “Ya think?” He scowled down at her. “I'm trying to be honest here in a way that is totally alien to me, okay?”
“Okay.”
She answered simply, calmly, not asking or pushing for more. Unfortunately, she sounded more resigned than anything, and that scared the hell out of him. He panicked. He couldn't lose her now. And not just her. Mick would go with her. He would lose them both.
He waited until they were on the path, out of sight from the house, and pulled her to a stop. But he had no idea what to say. No idea how to make this better.
“What?” She lifted her hand to his face again, her expression softening a little.
He kept his arms at his sides. If he touched her, there would be no going back.
“I can't…” How did he bare his soul? “I can't lose you. Or Mick.”
He thought he could see her heart in her eyes. Just for a second. Just long enough to pierce his soul before she shut down. “You'll lose us both.” She spoke nothing but the truth, and he knew it. “Give me time?” Her nod was reluctant, but she fell into step beside him, quiet until they took a turn she didn't expect. “Where are we going?”
“My house. It's bigger than yours or Mick's, and we have a guest.”
“Who?” She swung to a stop, and he heard the sudden pounding of her heart.
The sudden surge of suspicion and fear.
“Your brother. Do I need to worry about that, Harper? Is he dangerous?” He didn't think so, but her reaction was so extreme he had to ask.
She took a deep breath, her scent immediately changing to one of relief. She'd been afraid it was someone else, probably her father. He was disappointed. And insulted. But he couldn't blame her, could he? She was used to betrayal from the one person who should have loved her more than anything else, and she hadn't been with Redhawke long enough, with him and Mick long enough, to fully accept they were nothing like that. Simple logic that made sense, but it still hurt.