“Sandi, the truth is so bloody twisted, I wouldn’t know the truth if it bit me in the bum.”
I had to laugh.
“What is so funny?” he asked.
“You, you’re lovely when you’re angry.”
He smiled and started to laugh with me. We ended up having a hug.
“Was that it?” I asked.
“Was that what?”
“Was that our first domestic?”
We both laughed and almost couldn’t stop.
“You haven’t answered my question,” I said.
“Which one, I got confused.”
“Where do we go from here?”
“Sandi, I’m happy with the way things are. I’m leaving this place, and I’m going to take a few months touring the States with Mike. If you want to suspend things until I get back, then say the word?”
“Dave, I want you to feel free to make decisions, and free to choose. I don’t want to tie you down. I’ll not seek any commitment from you.”
He looked at me.
“Is that the truth?”
I couldn’t look at him.
“You don’t lie very well, did you know that?”
“I want you to be free,” I said, trying not to cry.
“I am free, and I’ve chosen. Who knows what’s in the future, but for now, I choose you,” he said, and I looked up at him.
“Thanks,” I said, and kissed him.
I turned and went back into the theatre to sort out my clothes.
I was in my underwear, just packing the last of the stuff away when Jenny came to me. She had brought her evening dress so we could get ready together.
“You were getting a bit heated with Dave, is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, we had a heavy session, and we both got a bit aroused, and then he said something which hurt. So we had a few words, I just wanted to know where the hell we were going.”
“Which is?”
“I’m still not sure, but I’ll take each day as it comes. I don’t want to tie him down to something that’s not real.”
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re very real.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, but how real was this afternoon?”
“Huh?”
“You were chosen as the best model because you look beautiful, and you are so gorgeous, everyone is jealous of you.”
“No they aren’t.” I said.
“Sandi, open your eyes, look at yourself. You have a fabulous figure, a superb pair of legs, and a face and smile that make men wet themselves. Forget what you were, you’re a beautiful girl, with a world out there waiting to be conquered.”
I looked at her, almost waiting for her to smile, and say, ‘fooled you.’ But she didn’t.
“Really?”
“Really. Look, I’m your friend, and I wouldn’t lie to you.”
I gave her a hug.
“Shit, Jenny. What do I do?”
“Just be you. Don’t try to be anyone you aren’t.”
“Who am I Jenny? I’m not sure I know any more.”
“You’re my friend, my very pretty friend, whom I love dearly.”
She made me cry, the cow. So we hugged for a bit. We then had to change. I wore my long dress, as I didn’t want Dave overheating too early. Jenny wore a red dress that was really pretty and made her look stunning. We left the theatre together, and met the boys near the Hall.
Mike held out his hands to Jenny and gave her a big kiss, and Dave looked at me.
“Still speaking?”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, so he kissed me.
We followed Jenny and Mike into the transformed Hall. But paper streamers and pretty table cloths didn’t alter the fact that it was still school.
Actually, it was fun. I looked and felt glamorous, and Dave treated me as if I was. I behaved as if I was, and it felt really great. I made a point to talking to all the girls from the fashion show, and being as nice to them, without being smarmy or false. I was terrified of being thought of as a snooty bitch, so I tried a little humility.
The food was okay, and the fruit punch was dull, until someone emptied a bottle of vodka into it. But the disco was brilliant, and I danced for ages. I had never enjoyed dancing as Alex, but as Sandi, I just adored it. Dave gave up and sat several out, so I danced by myself, or with anyone who wanted to dance with me. I was on a high, and didn’t care.
The music changed, and became slow and smoochy. Dave appeared again, and we melted together. I hung round his neck and let him hold me tight against his body. He was aroused again, and I still didn’t care. I rubbed myself against him, as we kissed. He stroked my bum, and caressed my tits, and I wanted him again.
I had to break off.
“I need some air,” I said, and we went outside.
We walked over to the cricket pavilion, and sat on the wooden decking.
He caressed my shoulder and nuzzled my neck.
I placed my hand on his trousers, and felt him straining to escape.
“Sandi..”
“Shh,” I said.
I unzipped his trousers, and his cock sprung out. It was huge. It was circumcised, and the large purple head looked ready to explode.
I stroked it gently, watching his face in the gloom, as he closed his eyes and moaned, I smiled. This was real control.
I ran my thumb gently over the head, and he writhed beneath my touch.
I felt some moisture escape from the little hole, and I immediately felt curious to know what it tasted like, so I licked the end.
It was okay, if a little salty, I tried again, and he thrust towards me.
I held it tightly in my right hand, and took the end into my mouth. I ran my tongue all over the knob, and he started jerking and thrusting into my mouth. I closed my lips tightly around it, allowing him to thrust as far as I could take it without gagging.
I stroked his hairy balls with my other hand, and ran my finger round to his bum. He wasn’t long.
He started thrusting quicker and quicker, grunting and moaning, and suddenly I felt this hot sticky liquid fill my mouth and throat. He had come in my mouth. I swallowed and kept licking his knob, and he started to moan and squirm. I licked him clean, put him away and zipped him up again. I smiled and sat up.
“Okay, gentle enough for you, Wild Man?” I asked, and he nodded.
“Shit Sandi, you needn’t have.”
“I wanted to. It’s the least I could do, really. Besides, I enjoyed it.”
“But I can’t do anything for you.”
“You still don’t get it do you?”
“What?”
“You’ve let me be the person I want to be. You allow me to do this, and it’s enough. For now anyway.” I said, with a smile.
We sat together in silence for a while. His arm was around me, and I held him.
“Sandi?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s it like for you?”
“What’s what like?”
“Life. I mean, you were something different, what is it like wanting something you are not?”
“Bloody hard. It’s still hard, because I’m always aware of what I am, and I just wait for someone to point at me and scream the truth to everyone.”
“But you never really were a boy were you?”
“Physically, yes. But in every other way, not really. Society dictated that I had to do certain things, and behave in a certain way, but I never felt I fitted in with what was expected of me.”
He was quiet for a while.
“Worried you might be gay?” I teased.
“No, you’ve always been a girl in my mind. No, I was trying to understand why society is so cruel.”
I shrugged.
“Survival, I suppose. I’m hardly the type that will assist with producing stronger members of the species.”
“There has to be more to it than that?”
“I think people are terrified of anything which threatens their own security. I wonder how many are wavering between the genders, and people like me make them feel even more insecure. At least I have the bottle to go for what I believe I should be. One reads of all kinds of important people leading double lives. There is the real danger to society, the real hypocrisy.”