It was her turn to blush.
“Yeah, he’s called Mike, and he is in the upper sixth,” she said. We were both in the lower sixth, having taken our GCSEs last summer.
“Cool. How long have you been going out?”
“A few weeks. We met at a party just after Christmas.”
I was quiet, as I tried to imagine myself with a boy. It gave me a warm feeling, and then I remembered what I had between my legs.
“I can fancy them all I want, but I’m not a real girl, so there’s no point,” I said, rather dejectedly.
“You could fool everyone.”
“That’s not the point. What happens when I like a guy enough to, you know, gets a bit heavy, and he finds you know what?”
“There are guys who like that.”
“I don’t care; I don’t want to be what they call me, a little queer, a queen, a faggot. I want to be a real girl, with the right equipment. So I want straight guys to fancy me, I’m not a gay guy, I’m a straight girl, - almost.”
Jenny looked a little sad for me, so I smiled. I told her about the chat rooms and all the guys who would hit on me on line.
“There are TG rooms, but I stay in the straight rooms, so all the guys who chat me up think I’m a real girl. I post my pics to them, and hey, even you say I pass.”
She smiled again.
“Sandi, you’re more a girl than many of my friends.”
“Thanks, I need to hear that.”
“So what are you going to do about your dad?”
I shrugged.
“I can’t hide what I am for much longer. I’m seventeen in a couple of weeks, so legally I can have the operations done without his consent, but I’ll have to tell him eventually. He’ll go ballistic.”
I stirred my coffee, watching the brown liquid circle in the cup.
“Jenny!” shouted a female voice. We looked up, and saw Caroline Warren from school.
“Shit,” I said, under my breath.
“Don’t panic,” whispered Jenny.
“Hi Caroline. What you doing?” Jenny asked.
Caroline and another girl I didn’t know came over.
“This is my cousin, Andrea, from Devon. She and her parents have come over for a family funeral tomorrow, so we both get out of school for a day,” Caroline said, looking at me. She frowned as she tried to place me.
“Hi Caroline,” I said.
“Shit, Sandi? It is. Bloody hell, I always thought you were a boy.”
I smiled and shrugged, saying nothing.
The two girls sat down at our table, as Caroline turned to her cousin.
“This is Sandi, she and Jenny are in my class at school. But Sandi always dresses to hide the fact she’s a girl. I wasn’t sure whether she was a girl or a boy, but now I know. Why don’t you dress like this at school?”
“I like keeping people guessing, it gives me a kick,” I said, still not confirming her assumption.
Caroline laughed, while Jenny was watching me like a hawk.
We chatted about trivialities for a bit, and eventually they left. We finished our coffees and paid the bill.
“Well, the whole school will know soon,” I said.
“So?”
I shrugged again, things were getting out of my control, and I didn’t like it.
We walked round the shops for a while, and I bought some new clothes. Then went to see a movie, and I just felt so at home as a girl. The movie had Nicole Kidman and George Clooney in it, so I fantasised about being in his arms. I went all the way.
We caught the bus back home, and then sat watching the late movie on TV together on the large sofa eating microwave popcorn. I then showed Jenny my many chat-room profiles with pictures, and logged on. Within seconds, Stallion2000 PM’ed me, and with little or no chat we were being very graphic, and after I told him what I was wearing, he undressed me, so we had cyber sex.
Jenny sat next to me, with her mouth open. Not so much at the concept, but at my graphic terminology and powers of description.
After ten minutes, the guy, obviously satisfied, disconnected, so I followed suit, despite a list of six or seven guys all waiting for their turn with me.
“I can’t believe what you just did?”
“What?”
“You just brought a total stranger to orgasm on the other side of the Atlantic, just by talking dirty.”
“Cool, isn’t it?” I said.
“No wonder you don’t have time for friends,” she said with a grin. “It even turned me on a little.”
We changed for bed. I loaned her one of my many nightdresses, and she declined to stay in the spare room.
“Do you mind if I share your bed?” she asked.
I shrugged.
“I don’t mind, but remember, I’m hardly a boy anymore.”
She looked at me, taking in my figure. We sat on the bed and she asked to see my genitalia.
I showed her.
“It’s tiny,” she said.
“It’s still too big for me.”
“Mike’s is huge compared to yours.”
“Mike hasn’t been taking female hormones for two years.”
“Does it work any more?”
I shook my head.
“Only to pee.”
We snuggled into bed, and I was asleep long after her. I smiled, I was in bed with a girl for the first time in my life, and she was as safe as houses.
2
I awoke before her, and dressed. I was making breakfast when she appeared. She put a little make up on me, just to highlight my eyes, and a little neutral lip-gloss. It was against the rules to wear make up, but they allowed a little. As we were sixth formers, there was even more leeway. The upper sixth were permitted to wear their own clothes, so the school-uniform was abandoned.
She helped me shape my nails and put on a clear varnish. I loved their look, and I felt more feminine than usual today.
We caught the bus to school, and the daily grind started once more. At lunchtime, Jenny and I were in the cafeteria, keeping ourselves to ourselves when her boyfriend Mike came over.
Mike Hardy was the captain of the first XV, and was a big bloke with short dark hair. He was eighteen and looked older. There were two other boys with him, they were in his year, and I knew them by sight only.
“Hi Jen. Are you okay?” he said, sitting next to her.
“Hi Mike, I’m fine.”
“I tried ringing you last night. Your Mum said you were staying with a girlfriend.”
“Yeah, you know Sandi?” she said, looking at me.
I flicked my hair back, and smiled.
He looked at me for the first time, taking in the makeup.
“Oh, hi Sandi. You’re the one who dresses as a boy. Half the school don’t know you are a girl.”
I just smiled, once again saying nothing.
“She likes making people guess,” Jenny said.
“Forget it, Sandi. You’re too attractive to fool people anymore,” said one of the boys standing next to us. I looked up, and he stared me right in the eyes in a bold and unashamed way. I returned the stare, so he broke away first. I looked at him closely.
He was slightly shorter than Mike, around the six-foot mark, but he was as broad. He had fair hair and a lovely smile. I found myself admiring him in a very feminine manner. He caught my look and smiled at me, I flushed and had to smile and look away.
He sat next to me.
“I’m David Carter,” he said, and offered me his hand.
I gave him mine, so he shook it gently, giving me a little squeeze.
“Hi David. Sandi Lake. Nice to meet you,” I said, slightly breathless. What the heck was happening to me?
We chatted for a while, and eventually we had to leave and go to our next class.
“Hey, Sandi, have you got a mobile?” David asked.
I heard myself give him my number, and Jenny grinned and led me away.
“Well. There is no doubt what you think about boys,” she said.