I tore the sheet of paper out of my notebook and put it in my desk drawer. I needed to think this through before I made my final decision. Plus, I wanted to talk to Andy. I wanted him to come with me, but I knew the chances of that happening were slim. I still had to try though. After I talked to him, I’d call my dad to see if he would help me. I knew he probably would, but I didn’t want to assume anything.
I would figure things out, and when I did, I was going to start living again.
Chapter Eleven: Jesse
I stared at the door Emma had just slammed in my face. I couldn’t believe that I’d said those things to her. I’d never meant to hurt her. I’d knocked on her door with every intention of telling her the truth about Ally, but the whole conversation had gone south before I had the chance. Emma had to think that I was the biggest asshole alive. For all I knew, she still believed that I’d cheated on her with Ally two years ago, and now, she thought that Ally was pregnant with my kid. It was like the entire world had decided that she needed to think the absolute worst of me.
Only Ally and I knew the truth. I’d done absolutely nothing wrong last time or this time. I was just the asshole who had been dealt a shit hand when it came to my relationship with Emma. If things were different now, maybe Emma would have been willing to give me a second chance. My promise to Ally and her relationship with Andy stood in the way. The two people who had meant the most to me for so many years were the ones who were destroying what I wanted.
I turned and walked away from Emma’s closed door. I needed to leave before I beat on her door and begged her to take me back. I wanted to take her and run away from this entire situation.
I walked back across campus to where my car was parked. There was no way that I was going to be able to sit in the library and work tonight. I had too much going on in my head. I couldn’t go home either. Ally wasn’t working tonight, so I knew she’d be there, waiting on me. I couldn’t face her right now. I knew it wasn’t entirely her fault, but at the moment, I wanted to blame her for all of this. Keeping my temper in check, I had to keep repeating to myself that she didn’t ask for this to happen to her.
I aimlessly drove around Morgantown. My mom and Mark lived about an hour south of Morgantown, so I was slightly familiar with it, but not enough to know where I was going. I really didn’t care at this point. I just wanted to drive. It didn’t matter where I ended up as long as I escaped.
Ally tried calling my cell phone a couple of times, but I ignored her. I knew she would worry if I didn’t answer, but I wasn’t in the mood to hear her whining. That was all she’d been doing lately—whining or yelling at me. Then, she would apologize a few minutes later, claiming the pregnancy was making her moody. For some reason, I didn’t believe her. Ally had always been moody, but it had been worse than normal lately. I thought it had more to do with the fact that Emma was around than anything else.
I did manage to get lost a few times, but I figured out where I was once I started to see familiar buildings. I drove by Andy’s apartment complex twice before I even realized what building it was. I slowed down the third time. I parked in the same parking lot where I had followed Emma to the first day I’d seen her.
If I went up and talked to Andy, I knew there was a good chance that it would end the same way it had with Emma. Things were different with Andy though. He’d been my best friend my entire life. He knew me better than anyone else—at least, he used to. After everything that had happened, he probably hated me more than Emma did. As far as he knew, I’d cheated on my girlfriend with his sister and then ended up getting her pregnant two years later.
I stared up at the window I thought went to his apartment. The lights were on, so I knew he was home, if I was looking at the right apartment. I glanced around the lot, but I didn’t see Emma’s car anywhere. I didn’t want to go in and see them together. I couldn’t handle that tonight. I couldn’t even stomach the thought of what she could be doing with him this late at night.
I opened my door and stepped out into the cool night air. September was already halfway gone, and fall was fast approaching. Even after two years, I still wasn’t used to West Virginia’s changing seasons. The first winter that I’d spent here had been brutal on me. I’d never seen snow before, and I had to admit that I liked it. I just didn’t like driving in it. That was one reason that I’d decided to move close to campus. Driving an hour one way on the snow-covered interstate wasn’t at the top of my to-do list.
Who am I kidding? Going to school wasn’t exactly at the top of my to-do list either. I was in Morgantown for my mom and my mom only. I would have been happy finding a local tattoo shop to take me in, so I could do an apprenticeship. Any time that I’d talked to my mom about it, she’d shut me down almost instantly. I hadn’t even bothered to search for a local shop since I moved. There was no point in torturing myself. It’d been over two years since I’d added any new ink to my skin. That alone was driving me nuts. So, here I was, taking classes for a business degree that I didn’t give a damn about.
I pushed my thoughts away as I walked to Andy’s building. I didn’t need to worry about my career choice right now. I needed to focus on Emma. I just hoped that I could keep my cool long enough to find out what had happened since I left. I knew what Ally had told me, but I wasn’t convinced that she’d been completely honest with me.
I still had no idea why Emma was enrolled in school here. I was sure that she was now that I knew she was living in one of the school’s dorms. One other thing that didn’t make sense was the fact that she was living there instead of with Andy. His apartment was closer to campus than my house, so I knew it didn’t have anything to do with travel. I just hoped that Andy could give me the answers I was looking for. I needed something, so all of this would piece together in my head.
I slowly climbed up the steps to the second floor, trying to think of what I would say when I saw him. I needed answers, so I could let Emma go. Hell, if Andy can explain everything to me, I might even wish the two of them good luck—then again, maybe not. I didn’t think that I’d ever be able to accept the two of them together as a couple.
I stopped in front of his door and knocked. When no one answered, I knocked again, harder this time. A few seconds later, I heard the deadbolt sliding, and then the door opened.
Does he ever wear a shirt? It’s not like we’re in California anymore, I thought to myself when I saw him standing in front of me, shirtless.
“What do you want?” Andy asked icily.
“I wanted to talk for a few.”
“I’m busy.”
I ran my hand across my face as I leaned against the wall. “Look, I know you hate my guts, but I need some answers. I’m going nuts here.”
“I don’t have your answers, and like I said, I’m busy.”
He started to close the door, but I reached out and grabbed it before he could. “I won’t stay long, I promise.”
“Andy, who’s out there?” a girl asked as she appeared behind him.
It took me a minute to process the fact that she was wearing nothing but his shirt.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I shouted.
I knew Andy had slept around a lot in high school, but I assumed that he would stop since he was with Emma.
“You’re fucking around behind Emma’s back?”
“Who’s Emma?” the girl asked as she glared at Andy.
He opened his mouth to reply, but I beat him to it.
“She would be his girlfriend.”