“I didn’t think you’d care.” It hurt to say it, but it was true.
She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them to look at me. “I’ve messed up a lot when it comes to you, Emma. Jesse made sure to point that out to me when I showed up. I love you. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t. I’m just…I’m not good with feelings. I drove your father away first and then you.”
“You hurt me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, Emma. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. You mean the world to me. I’ve missed you so much since you left. I just couldn’t bring myself to beg you to come back after I threatened you. I never expected you to be strong enough to leave.”
“I am strong, stronger than I thought.”
She smiled. “You are. You’re stronger than anyone realized. Jesse told me everything that happened, both before he left California and then over the past few weeks. I’m sorry that I made you think you couldn’t talk to me about the things happening in your life.”
“You never wanted to listen. I didn’t tell you about Jesse because I knew you’d push him away. He wouldn’t be good enough for you.”
She looked over at Jesse. “I admit that I would have before. Seeing you in this bed and knowing he’s the reason you’re here and not at the bottom of a river made me realize that I owe this young man a lot. You’re an adult now, Emma, and I couldn’t keep you two apart even if I tried. I don’t want to though. I’ve watched him, and I know that he loves you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She smiled down at me. “You’re welcome.”
It was a start. My mom and I still had a long way to go, but we might be able to have something close to a normal relationship one day. It would take more than one apology to forget everything that she’d done to me. But if Ally had accomplished anything, it was to show me just how unpredictable and short life was. I had to let go of the hate I felt for my mother and start over. I couldn’t spend my whole life hating her.
Chapter Twenty-Five: Jesse
The past two weeks had been pure hell. I’d sat helplessly as I watched Emma lay unconscious in her hospital bed. I’d never felt so worthless in my life. I would have given anything to see her open her eyes.
I’d only left to shower and shave. Andy would bring me food every morning and evening when he came in to check on her. I’d even slept in the damn chair in her room, so I would be there when she woke up. I had felt terrified that she’d wake up alone and scared. I never wanted to leave her alone again.
I’d had words with her mother when she arrived. I hadn’t wanted to call her, but I’d known it was the right thing to do. Her number wasn’t in Emma’s phone, so I had called Lucy to get it. Of course, Lucy had freaked out the minute I explained why I needed it. She’d wanted to come out, but she couldn’t due to her classes. I’d promised to call her as soon as anything changed.
Her mom had been cold to me at first when I called her. It had been obvious that she’d felt like I was wasting her time. Once I’d told her about Emma, her attitude had changed. She’d gone from cold bitch to terrified mother in two seconds flat. I hadn’t expected that reaction from her. She had shown up a few hours later, crying and holding Emma’s hand.
I couldn’t help but snap when I had seen her reaction. Why did Emma have to almost die to get that kind of attention from her own mother? I’d called Emma’s mother out on her pathetic attempts at parenting. There had been a lot of shouting. Emma’s dad had walked in right in the middle of it. The look on her mom’s face when he’d strolled over to me and hugged me was priceless. Up until that point, her mom hadn’t even bothered to ask who the hell I was. All she knew was my name and that I was one of Emma’s friends. When her dad had explained that I’d been with Emma for years, her mother had been speechless. She’d finally managed to thank me for what I’d done, but we were still uneasy around each other.
As far as I was concerned, two weeks of good parenting didn’t make up for nineteen years of nothing. She still had a long way to go in my opinion. I was just glad that she’d actually shown up. Emma was going to need a lot of support when she woke up.
I’d watched each day as the bruises and cuts slowly started to heal. Once I had calmed down enough to see the extent of Emma’s injuries, I wanted to kill Ally all over again. She’d tortured Emma. Ally had beaten Emma and cut her over and over again in less than twenty-four hours. I didn’t even want to think about what Ally might have done if she’d had more time. I didn’t want to think about watching her push Emma over the side of the bridge. I didn’t want to think about Ally ever again. I didn’t want to think period.
The doctors had assured us that Emma would wake up. She’d needed time to heal, both mentally and physically. But as one day had turned into two and then three, I’d started to wonder if she’d ever come back to me. Would she want to? It was my fault that she’d suffered so much. If it weren’t for me, she never would have even met Ally. I couldn’t blame Emma if she hated me for everything that had happened to her.
Andy had tried to make me feel better, but it had been no use. Until Emma’s eyes had opened, I’d known I would never find peace. While I’d blamed myself, Andy had put the blame on himself as well. He’d kept saying that Ally was his sister, and he should have known something wasn’t right with her. I wasn’t sure which of us had felt worse.
Emma’s dad had been silent most of the time. For a rock star, he was certainly the quiet, thoughtful type. He’d taken time off from the recording studio to stay with Emma in the hospital. The nurses had brought in extra chairs, so her mom, her dad, and I would all have places to sit. Her parents had stayed with her all day just like I had. When nighttime had rolled around, they would both go to their hotel rooms, only to return first thing in the morning.
My mom had stopped in twice to see how Emma was doing. She’d known nothing of what had happened with Ally before we left California or what Ally had done to me recently. My mom had been shocked to learn that the little girl who had practically grown up at our house had become the ruthless person who tried to kill Emma. When I’d told her everything, my mom had cried for both Emma and Ally. She’d cried for Emma because of everything that she’d gone through, and for Ally because it was obvious that she had been very sick, and no one had noticed. Maybe if we had, things could have ended differently for her. Maybe she would still be alive.
I’d never wanted my mom to know what had happened, but I’d had no choice since I refused to go to class. The university had called her when they couldn’t reach me. She’d called me and demanded an explanation, thinking I was just skipping. She hadn’t expected for me to tell her that I was in the hospital with Emma. She’d called the school and let them know that I wouldn’t be back for a while before rushing to the hospital.
When she had seen Emma unconscious and battered in her hospital bed, she’d lost it again. I knew she always liked Emma, but I hadn’t realized how much until I’d seen the fear in her eyes. She had felt as terrified as I had that Emma would never wake up.
The day Emma opened her eyes was the single most important day of my life. I’d thought I’d imagined her eyelids fluttering, but when I’d begged her to open them, she had. It had been obvious that she had been in a lot of pain, but she had woken up. She would be okay, just like the doctors had said she would. The weight that had been sitting on my chest lifted as soon as she had spoken.
Emma’s mother wanted her to come back to California, but she refused. She said that West Virginia was her home, and she wasn’t leaving. Her mother finally caved after I told her that I’d take her to my house to watch over her. I thought I was slowly starting to grow on her. She’d promised to visit at least once a month, but I had no idea if she really would, and I didn’t care.