Tess stiffened, dropping her arms.
The sane part of my brain—the part unshadowed by monsters—fought to understand what had changed. Something about her drew everything evil to the surface. She called to this awful part of me.
Squeezing my eyes, I hissed, “I need you to stop.”
Stop so I don’t hurt you. I don’t want to fucking hurt you.
Yes, you do.
“There’s nothing to stop,” she murmured. “I want this. I want you.”
“Stop!” I roared, shaking her. My fingers burned to choke. Unable to stand touching her, I shoved her away. She fell onto the chaise, her breasts bouncing with the force of her fall.
I spun away, clutching my head. Get out. Get out!
I had to get control. I had to find a way to protect her. None of this was right.
Then why does she give you permission?
I opened my eyes, hoping to see the strong unsullied woman I’d fallen so madly for. I needed to see her strength. But all I saw was a shell. A vacant shell.
Fuck!
I took a step back, cursing when something sharp poked my sole. I looked down and my stomach hollowed out.
My belt.
Hit her. Strike her. Turn her white skin red.
Breathing hard, I stared right into Tess’s flushed face. Where was my esclave? The equal measure of fuckedupness I’d come to rely on was gone—twisted into something entirely different that I couldn’t understand.
Her fire had been replaced by acceptance and resilience. Her eyes didn’t taunt me to hurt her, or glimmer with lust. She stood, waiting like a perfect fucking slave.
Goddammit!
My anger went from simmering to explosive; I lost another part of my soul.
Her panting chest drew my attention; my eyes devoured her naked flesh. “I can’t stop it. Whatever you’re doing—it’s making it worse. Ten times worse. A thousand times worse.” The roaring grew louder, tearing my brain apart with the need to give in. “Tess—you’re…” You’re not safe. Run!
Her entire body flushed with fear before being hidden by submission. Her back straightened. Her eyes screamed some silent message while her mouth devastated my remaining self-control.
“Do it. Please, Q. You need to. I see how much you need to.”
I wrenched my hair. Tell the truth. Stand up to me.
Only she could stop this. Only she could put me back on the leash I desperately needed.
“I’ll hurt you. Do you understand that?” I could barely speak through clenched teeth.
Silence.
Tell me no. Be brave.
She bowed her head. “Yes.”
I shook my head, disbelieving. “I’ll draw blood. Do you want that?”
Her shoulders rolled. “I understand.”
“I’ll make you fucking scream. You can’t mean it.”
Her body hunched. “I do. I do mean it.”
The beast roared, and I had nothing left. No sanity, no strength. She’d given me absolute control while presenting her fear and acceptance in front of a man who’d fought against his baser desires all his life.
This was why I ran from weak women.
This was why I never let myself go near a slave who’d been used to the point of graceful compliance.
Because I wasn’t fucking strong enough to say no. I wouldn’t hold back—not now.
The leash snapped free. The cage flung wide.
I snatched the belt off the floor.
Breathing harder than I ever had before, I slammed down on the chaise beside Tess and yanked her over my lap.
The rapid pace of her chest rose and fell; her clammy skin stuck to my thighs as panic sprang from her pores. I’d crossed the threshold of no turning back.
Tess wiggled, but I held her down.
“Q…Q, wait.” Her voice rose an octave, filling with terror.
Before, it would’ve been enough to cut through the dense black fog I existed in, reining me back.
But not now.
Now it fucking fed me.
Having her splayed, so vulnerable over my legs, set free every diabolical demon inside. I would hit her. I would fuck her. And I wouldn’t stop until I tasted her blood.
Bending over, I hissed in her ear, “You’re going to writhe for me. You’re going to scream.”
She swallowed a sob, dropping her head. Her entire body went boneless over my thighs. Yanking her hair free from the tie, I fanned out her blonde curls, stroking her back with trembling fingers.
My cock throbbed in time with my heart. I could’ve come just by rubbing against her prone body.
I flinched as Tess wrapped her arms around my calves, anchoring herself to me. Her body wracked with shudders, but she didn’t make a sound.
Pressing her shoulder blades with one hand, keeping her in place, I folded the belt in half with the aid of the chaise. Grabbing the buckle, I ran my fingers from her shoulder blades, down her spine, to stroke her ass.
So white. So pristine.
My vision was all greys and blacks. Colour no longer existed in my world. I’d embraced everything I deplored—there was no leaving until I’d sated what needed to be sated.
Not only did I want to physically abuse her, I wanted to mentally ruin her, too.
If I were sane, I would’ve told myself I was a sick fuck and to end this madness before it was too late.
But how could a monster be sane? A monster did what he wanted. A monster took what was given.
“Do you love me, Tess?” My voice was black, heavily accented with a language that was meant for romance not bloodshed.
She nodded without hesitation.
I ran my finger down the centre of her ass, deliberately taunting her with softness. “Do you want this as much as me?”
Again another nod instantly.
“Do you want me to stop?”
She shook her head.
Such a perfect slave. Such a perfectly well-trained slave.
With a palm, I stroked her gently, loving the twitch of her hips. Her hair hung around her face, obscuring her features. Her mind might not be mine, but her body was.
Mine to paint with violence.
I slid two fingers between her legs. She stiffened as I found her folds. I angled my hand to penetrate her but her thighs snapped tight, blocking my right as her master to touch her.
A headache thundered into being—gathering tight and painful behind my eyes. How dare she deny me!
“Tu payeras pour ça.” You’ll fucking pay for that.
Raising my hand, the sun glinted off the buckle as the belt came down fast. The first slap of leather made my vision sputter and fade. The headache morphed into a mind-splitting migraine—my last defence against the beast inside.
Headaches were the bane of my life—but also my salvation.
Stop!
My eyes focused on the red lash across Tess’s ass—there was no chance of stopping.
I was too far gone.
Another strike and my cock jerked with delirium. This was what was missing in my life. This deliciousness. This supremacy. I’d never hit so hard. Only two strikes and already blood blisters formed.
Tess’s fingernails dug into my calf, but she didn’t make a sound. Her entire body locked into place, feeling like she’d transformed into a diamond rather than blood and bone.
I hit her again.
This time across the top of her ass. My mouth filled with eagerness to lick at the tiny crimson droplet welling from the strike. Her white skin turned into a criss-cross of pink and red.
With a fingertip, I rubbed the blood across her flesh in a smear of rust.
Tess whimpered.
Her whimper did two things to me—shattered my black-riddled heart and hurtled me faster into hell.