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long way off. A sound of drunken singing comes from the river. The

pebbles roll on the bank. But still there is no signal. Just the wall clock

ticking and Aunt Dasha sighing as she tosses from side to side.

To keep awake, I sit up and rest my head on my knees. I am

pretending to be asleep. I hear a whistle, but I can't wake up.

Afterwards Pyotr told me he had whistled himself as hoarse as a gypsy

until he wakened me. But he kept whistling all the time I was putting on

my boots and my overcoat and stuffing the cookings into the haversack.

Was he cross! He ordered me to turn up the collar of my overcoat and

we made off.

Everything went well. Nobody touched us—neither dogs nor men. To

be on the safe side, though, we made a detour of about two miles round

the town. On the way I tried to find out from Pyotr whether he was sure

that travelling on the railways these days was free of charge. He told me

he was sure; if the worst came to the worst we could hide under the

seats. It was two nights' travel to Moscow. The passenger train was due

to leave at 5.40.

But when, to avoid the patrols, we jumped the fence some half a mile

from the station we found that there was no 5.40 train. The wet, black

rails glinted dully, and yellow lanterns burned dimly at the points. What

were we to do? Wait at the station till morning? Impossible: the patrols

might catch us. Return home?

At that moment a bearded coupler all covered with grease, crawled

out from under a freight train and came towards us, stepping over the

sleepers.

42

"Please, mister," Pyotr accosted him boldly, "how do we get to

Moscow from here-on the right or on the left!"

The man looked at him, then at me. I turned cold. "Now he'll hand us

over to the commandant's."

"It's three hundred miles to Moscow, my lads."

"Please, mister, we only want to know-is it on the right or on the left?"

The coupler laughed.

"On the left."

"Thank you. Come along to the left, Sanya!"

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

TO STRIVE. TO SEEK, TO FIND AND NOT TO YIELD

All journeys are much alike when the travellers are eleven or twelve

years old, when they travel under the carriages and do not wash for

months. You only have to scan a few books dealing with the life of waifs

to see this for yourself. That is why I am not going to describe our

journey from our town of Ensk to Moscow.

Aunt Dasha's commandments were soon forgotten. We swore, fought

and smoked (sometimes dried dung, to keep warm); sometimes it was

an aunt travelling to Orenburg for salt who had lost us on the way; at

other times we were refugees who were going to join our grandma in

Moscow. We gave ourselves out to be brothers—this made a touching

impression. As we couldn't sing, I recited on the trains the letter from

the navigating officer. I remember how, at Vyshny Volochok station, a

young-looking though grey-haired naval man made me repeat the letter

twice.

"Very strange," he said, looking at me closely with his stern grey eyes.

"Lieutenant Sedov's expedition? Very strange."

We were not waifs, though. Like Captain Hatteras (Pyotr told me

about him with a wealth of detail which Jules Verne himself had never

suspected), we were going forward, forever forward. Not only because in

Turkestan there was bread, while here there were none. We were going

out to discover a new land of sunny cities and rich orchards. We had

sworn an oath to each other.

What a help that oath was to us!

Once at Staraya Russa we strayed from the road and lost our way in

the forest. I lay down in the snow and closed my eyes. Pyotr tried to

scare me with talk about wolves, he swore and even hit me, but all in

vain. I couldn't take another step. So then he took off his cap and flung

it down in the snow.

"You swore an oath, Sanya," he said, "to strive, to seek, to find and not

to yield. D'you mean to say you've sworn falsely? Didn't you say

yourself-no mercy for whoever breaks the oath?"

I started to cry, but I got up. Late that night we arrived at a village. It

was a village of Old Believers, but one old woman nevertheless took us

in, fed us and even washed us in the bathhouse.

And so, passing from village to village, from station to station, we at

last reached Moscow.

43

On the way we had sold or bartered for food nearly everything that we

had brought with us. Even Pyotr's knife and its sheath, I remember, was

sold for two pieces of meat-jelly.

The only things that remained unsold were the papers with the oath

written on them in blood "P.S." and "A.G." and the address of Pyotr's

uncle.

That uncle! How often we had talked about him! In the end I -came to

see him as a sort of Grand Patriarch of Steam Engines-beard streaming

in the wind, funnel belching smoke, boiler ejecting steam...

And then, at last, Moscow! One frosty February night we clambered

out through the window of the lavatory in which we had been travelling

during the last stage of our journey, and jumped down on to the track.

We couldn't see Moscow, it was hidden in the dark, and besides, we

weren't interested in it. This was just Moscow, whereas that Uncle lived

at Moscow Freight Yard, Depot 7, Repair Shop. For two hours we

blundered amidst the maze of diverging tracks. Day began to break by

the time we reached Depot 7, a bleak building with dark oval windows

and a tall oval door on which hung a padlock. The uncle wasn't there.

And there wasn't anybody you could ask about him. Later in the

morning we learned at the Depot Committee that Uncle had gone off to

the front.

So that was that! We went out and sat down on the platform.. It was

goodbye to the streets where oranges grew, goodbye to the nights under

the open sky, goodbye to the knife under the girdle and the curved

sword ornamented in silver!

Just to make sure, Pyotr went back to the committee to ask whether

his uncle was married. No, Uncle was a single man. He lived, it

transpired, in a railway truck and had gone off to the front in the same

truck.

It was quite light by this time and we could now see Moscow-houses

upon houses (they all looked like railway stations to me), great heaps of

snow, an occasional tramcar, then again houses and houses.

What was to be done! The weeks that followed were about the

toughest we had known. The things we did for a living! We took up

queues for people. We did jobs for ex-bourgeois, shovelling snow off the

pavements in front of the houses when "compulsory labour service" was

introduced. We cleaned the stables at the circus. We slept on landings,

in cemeteries and in attics.

Then, suddenly, everything changed.

We were walking, I remember, down Bozhedomka Street, yearning

only for one thing—to come across a bonfire somewhere; in those days

bonfires were sometimes lighted in the centre of the city. But there was

nothing doing. Snow, darkness, silence! It was a cold night. All house

entrances were locked. We walked along in silence, shivering. It looked

as if Pyotr would have to fling his cap down again, but at that very