My breath hitched. “After what Marcus did, I expected you to want to cut his balls off. Not give him another chance. And no, I don’t want him. I’ve never been in love with Marcus. I’ll admit that he was everything I thought I wanted in a man. But he’s a cheater. He’s not loyal.”
I rubbed at the pain in my heart with my fist. Yet I was grateful I’d found out about Marcus before things got more serious. Before I gave him my body like I’d planned to do that fateful night—wanting to see if my heart would follow. But what I’d seen—his dick inside another woman—could never be unseen. If Marcus needed to fuck another girl, he clearly wasn’t that into me. Because if he was, he would have waited a few more hours—for me.
“I want a man who wants only me. I’ve learned that money and status and a pretty house with a white picket fence aren’t what I want, after all. I want love. And loyalty. I want to be the center of his universe. My man mustn’t even think of wanting another woman. So clearly, Marcus is not what I want.”
Daddy pursed his lips. He didn't like what I was saying. I think he’d hoped I’d forgive Marcus and move forward. But how could I be with a man who would only be loyal to me because my father threatened him? No, it had to be his choice to be faithful, because he wanted to. Because he had no need for anyone else.
“Jade, just think about it before you make up your mind. Your life can be great if you choose Marcus. He can give you everything you need.”
Solemn, I shook my head. “I'd always wondered which was more important. To love, or to be loved. Then I came across something that resonated with me. Asking that question is like asking a bird which wing it needs most—its right wing or its left wing.”
My father cocked his head and smiled, encouraging me to tell him more. I loved that he was willing to listen to my point of view. My voice was barely above a whisper, I was that choked up.
“The truth is that a bird needs both wings to fly. The answer is balance. That’s what I want—to both receive and give love equally. Unconditionally. Completely. Can you understand that?”
Finally I understood what I really wanted. A ‘shopping’ list of characteristics to tick off didn't ensure my happily-ever-after. It wasn’t my mind that had to choose which man I spent the rest of my life with. That was entirely my heart’s job. And the man that was making my knees weak wasn’t the one my mind would’ve chosen, not in a million years.
He nodded. “I understand, because that’s what Mom and I have always had. But, Jade, choose wisely. Who you decide to spend your life with impacts on many other levels, too. Once the romance dies, you have to still like one another if it’s going to last.”
“I get that, Daddy. Which is exactly why I can't be with Marcus. I’d never trust him again.”
“So, tell me about the motorcycle man. Is there something I should know?” The way he quirked his eyebrow confirmed that he wasn’t too comfortable with this development.
“There’s not much to tell. He saved me from Marcus and seriously embarrassing moments; that’s all. He’s not my type, nor am I his, so there’s nothing to worry about.” Even as I tried to assure my father, my stomach flipped. The little voice in my head was getting louder. Was I telling him the truth?
I hated telling lies, especially to the two people I trusted most in the world. But I hadn’t quite figured it out myself yet. I was still eager to find my own place, even if I never saw Ryder again. It was time for the next step into adulthood.
Were my feelings for Ryder becoming more than just rebellion and lust?
I hope not.
Chapter 8~ Ryder
“Get into the fucking wheelchair.” I nodded my head toward the contraption Cobra was refusing to get into. “I’ll wheel you out of this place and take you home. But first, you gotta follow the damn rules.”
Cobra’s eyes widened. “Fuck. Ryder, is this really you speaking? Since when do you, of all people, follow the rules?”
I winked at him. “Since it’s the fastest way to get out of this place that smells like antiseptic and is as sterile as Ox’s balls.”
He chuckled. “You got a point, brother. Get me the fuck outta here.”
Cobra leaned on both the nurse and myself as we lowered him into the wheelchair. He grinned like a fool up at the nurse. “Don’t go missing me too much, sweetheart.”
She swatted him with the clipboard. “Get your ugly mug out of here before you have another injury. And stay out of the way of bullets in future, will you?” She quirked an eyebrow at him.
I laughed. “Trouble is Cobra’s middle name. Follows him like a stench.”
The nurse placed a few containers of painkillers in Cobra’s hands and explained how he should take them. He listened patiently, and nodded his head. Fuck, was Cobra going soft after all this time in the hospital? The Cobra I knew would have chucked the pills in the bin, proclaiming to be a man, and not a pussy who needed pills to get through the pain.
We were inside the elevator when Cobra spoke again. “Mia?” His voice was so soft that I hardly heard it. I even detected anxiety. Yeah. When a woman had a man by the balls, there was no way he could pretend otherwise. He was fucked, whether he knew it or not.
“Mia’s at the house. Waiting for you. Don’t stress too much, she was dolling herself up when I left. She can't be that mad at you if she wants to look all pretty for you.”
“Yeah?” Cobra sighed. “Since when are you such a fucking expert on women? Thought you hated bitches, except for their pussies.”
I shook with laughter. “Since looking after your old lady. Babysitting your family. And since—” I stopped talking just in time. Cobra didn't know anything about Jade. Was bad enough that Mia was constantly interrogating me. I didn't need him on my case, too.
Besides, since I’d last seen her that night, she hadn’t been taking my calls. She was being stubborn as hell, sticking to her guns. But what Jade didn't know was that besides being a tenacious man, I was also a patient fucker. If it suited me.
“You were saying?”
“Nothing, man. Just glad you’re out of this place. Gives me the creeps.”
“Ryder. I'm your brother. No secrets. If you don’t tell me, Mia will. You know that woman knows everything.”
“It’s complicated. Let it go, brother. Focus on Mia and the kids. Excited to see them?”
“Hell yeah. I'm sure they’ve grown so much since I last saw them.”
“They have. Your family is really awesome. You’re a lucky man, Cobra.”
“How lucky? I’ll find out when I see Mia again. You know she’s not gonna forgive me easily for losing the baby. And I don’t blame her, either.”
Silently, I nodded my head. Losing a baby was a big deal. One score I hadn’t settled yet with the fucking LA Demons. That baby’s premature death was on them. Fuckers.
“Anyway, stay at the ‘Rental Ritz’ in Beverly Hills, as Mia and I call it, for a few weeks while you get stronger. Take the time to bond with Mia, to sort your shit. ‘Cause once you get back to the club, you gotta step back into your pres shoes. Razor has been doing a stellar job of keeping the club running, if you know what I mean. With both you and me gone, he’s been king of the fucking world.”