Jacob closed his eyes again and turned his face against the pillow. His back was sore.
“Sorry to hear about your kids,” she said. “That’s mal mucho.”
“Joshua,” Jacob said, eyes clenched shut. He actually whimpered. “Make her stop.”
Carlita came closer. Her beer breath wafted on his face. She whispered, “Told you it would never work. You cannot run away from who you are.”
“Joshua,” Jacob repeated, his voice cracking like a teenager’s. “I’ll give you anything. Just let me go.”
Carlita’s lips brushed against his cheek. He fought a slithering snake of vomit that wended up his esophagus. Despite his revulsion, a rush of warm blood surged through his groin.
“You didn’t need them, Cacatua,” she whispered. “Just me. Just me.”
Jacob screamed, or maybe something inside him tore open and the sound that filled his ears was the wrenching of flesh from bone.
When he opened his eyes, he couldn’t tell if seconds or minutes had passed. Drops of cool sweat clung to him like tiny leeches. Carlita and Joshua were sitting on the bed across the room, holding hands. They shared a kiss, no tongue, like kids with braces who were trying something new.
“I’ll give you anything,” Jacob said. “Just make it go away.”
“Anything?” Joshua said.
“Yes.”
“Sounds like what we wanted, don’t it, babe?” Joshua said to Carlita.
“He filthy rich, a gringo pig,” Carlita said. “Right now he just plain filthy.”
“She’s right, brother, you’re really starting to stink up the joint. If dear old Momma was here, she’d rap a cane across your knuckles and give you a bath.”
“Renee will bring the money,” Jacob said.
“I know.”
“Can I go now?”
“Sure, big brother. You’re a guest here. You’re free to leave any time you want.”
Jacob lifted his hands and rubbed his wrists together where the ropes had chafed and cut through his skin. “Untie me, then.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Renee knelt on the cool grass. The morning clouds overhead were irregular, a jagged wash of gray rubbing against the lard-like lumps of white cumulus. She couldn’t arrange the clouds, nor tidy the twisted trees that lined the edge of Heavenly Meadows. The shrubs along the low stone fence hadn’t been trimmed since autumn and bristled with ungainly new growth. A chipped mausoleum stood at the top of the rise, its columns and facade done in a Roman style as if polytheism were acceptable as long as the tenants paid their rent. The world was irregular and obscene, the cracks in the mausoleum much too large for her to repair. Even the grave markers were arrayed in uneven rows, the older ones on the top of the hill worn and leaning, some bearing small, tattered American flags. She picked the stray bits of uneven grass from Christine’s grave.
“She loves me, she loves me not,” Renee heard herself saying, and the smell of plucked grass sent her to a fantasy playground where Mattie and Christine ran together, hand in hand. But the image made no sense, even for a daydream, because Christine had never even crawled, let alone walked.
“She loves me,” Renee said, then changed to “Hail Mary, full of grace.” Instead of rosary beads, she clutched the dirty pink rattle she’d found in the forest behind their burned-down house. Several priests had warned her in sermons that all the great and wondrous gifts of God could be stripped away in the blink of an eye, but that even the deepest sorrow could be tempered through abiding faith. She’d always thought those sermons had been addressed to other people, those whose sinful and cluttered lives invited disaster. Bad things didn’t happen to good people in a just world guided by a merciful God.
She was praying over Christine’s body because Mattie had no fixed location, no single point at which to hurl grief. Jacob’s belief in a unifying, universal energy seemed terribly large and empty to her. Such an afterlife was the spiritual equivalent of ashes tossed onto the cosmic winds. She didn’t want Mattie spending eternity in such a place. That’s why she’d pressed Jacob to allow the children to be christened and baptized as Catholics. For all the good it did.
Renee finished her run through the cycle of sorrowful mysteries and stood. The grass had stained the knees of her pants. She would have to throw them away. Her apartment didn’t have a washer and dryer, and she hated the dank, dim laundry room beside the property management office. She wasn’t sure when she’d be returning to the apartment, anyway.
The money was in her jacket pocket in a crumpled paper sack, like something out of a crime movie. Twenty-seven one hundred dollar bills. All that was left. The profit of Christine’s death.
A million in insurance coverage had been nothing. That barely replenished what Jacob had swiped from the M & W accounts, the bad real estate deals, foolish donations to charity that had become an obligation because of his name. Now they had another million coming, and all it cost was Mattie.
She wiped her eyes and turned. Someone stood at the far edge of the cemetery, cloaked in the morning shadows. She thought at first it was a caretaker, one of those hunched and reclusive figures prone to working in memorial parks. Then she remembered the whispered taunts from the woods the night before.
Renee put her hand in her pocket, searching for her key. Her car was by the gate fifty yards away. But she didn’t need to run. She was in no danger. If her stalker had wanted to harm her, last night provided the perfect opportunity.
She headed toward the trees that clustered in the older part of the graveyard. The figure slipped back into the laurel undergrowth. The park had only one entrance, so the person would have to climb over the wall to avoid being seen. Renee fought the urge to hurry. She veered toward the wall, which bordered the rear of a strip mall. The buildings were brick, masonry oozing from the cracks as if a messy kindergartner had been in charge of construction. Jack vines, kudzu, and poison sumac climbed the wall and thorny locusts grew on the slope of the drop-off leading to the strip mall. No one in his right mind would scale the wall and scramble down that hazardous and itchy embankment.
She was nearly to the undergrowth when she heard the voice. Small and childlike, but not the same recorded voice from the night before.
“Wish me,” the voice said.
The words came like one-two punches, one deep in the hollow of her stomach and the other flush against her forehead.
Jacob had taught Mattie the game. Wish Me usually came into play on long car trips, when fast-food stops and the occasional bathroom break weren’t enough to drive away a child’s boredom. Wish Me was usually a giggle game, descending into silliness such as “Wish me a zebra and paint the stripes like a rainbow.” Or, “Wish me a million dollars and let’s go to the candy store.”
“Come out, Jacob,” Renee said, surprised she could still issue breaths from behind her clenched rib cage.
The voice came again. “Wish me.”
“I don’t want to wish,” she said, recalling Rheinsfeldt’s summary of dissociative behavior. It was possible Jacob didn’t realize he was stalking her. “I want to know why you’re hiding.”
“Follow me,” the voice said. A branch snapped.
“We already played that game.”
“Wish me your deepest wish.”
“I don’t have any wishes left.”
“Except to know.”
The laurel was tangled and dense, and the disarray of the branches filled Renee with a deep dread. She required order, and this organic chaos was beyond her control. This patch of forest lived for itself, grasping for the sky and rain, pushing up out of the earth like a corpse seeking a refund. Last night, the darkness had allowed her to block out the discordant surroundings as she gave chase to the person who had eluded her. But here in the warm glare of a perfect spring day, she couldn’t deceive herself.